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Victoria’s Secret super model Alessandra Ambrosio is easily one of the loves of my life. If there was a test of beauty, I’m sure she’d rank in the 99th percentile as she’s undoubtedly one of planet Earth’s finest specimens. Needless to say, topless pictures of Alessandra are wicked cool — even if she’s covering up her goods with her arms.

I might’ve featured her as my Babe of the Week not too long ago, but I figure that if you’re anything like me that you can’t get enough of Candice Swanepoel. Victoria’s Secret models are so my thing and she’s one of the best these days, so enjoy a few more looks at this fine specimen while I imagine filling up all her orifices with my special brew.

This made me giggle and it’s kind of fucked up whether it was a real accident or staged.

I’m not sure if the show is on anymore, but Beauty & the Geek used to be one of my many reality TV guilty pleasures. I’d watch and make fun of it religiously with my roommies at the time and it was one of the shows I’d look forward to each and every week. In addition to the obvious comedic element it brought to my life, it also was worth watching for the plethora of Spank Bank™ material it introduced.

One such bringer of wet dream fodder was season four’s Amanda Hanshaw. She didn’t last on the show that long, but it was enough of an appearance to get her recognized by me and lesser known entities such as Playboy, where she became a Cyber Girl of the Week and managed to do what seems like a few thousand pictorials. And while it may seem a long overdue, she has now been honored as my Babe of the Week.

I may have put my initial backing behind another girl, but I won’t lose any sleep if Stevie Lynn ends up winning Maxim’s Hometown Hotties contest for 2009. The truth is that they’re both quite worthy of starring in your own personal in-brain pornographic movies or imaginary relationships, depending on whatever tends to float your boat. Either way, Stevie is a straight dime and gets to add a Babe of the Week to her resume regardless of whether or not she finishes atop the “other” contest.

Not only is she named after one of my favorite places to go, but the Israeli-born Goddess Bar Refaeli is also the most recent cover model for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. Both excellent honors and things to be proud of. Before that, she was probably best known as being Leo’s super hot girlfriend but I’m not going to hold that against her.

The bottom line is that this girl is drop dead gorgeous and is complete Spank Bank™ material. Naming her Babe of the Week was as easy as convincing myself to jerk off the second I wake up each and every morning. And for those that don’t really know me, I typically rub at least two out before before I fully open my eyes.

First, every night I’ve gone to Gypsy has been a lot of fun except for that one night where I struck out something like 10 straight times, with five girls telling me don’t bother because I’m too fat (I blame the fact that I shaved and that brings out the double chin). The girls are always hot and we almost always have a great time.

What’s even cooler about it is that the bouncers have seen Brandon & I enough that they have decided to just start waving us in and don’t even bother carding us anymore. The odd thing about this is that I’ve been kicked out of this club twice already and both times I turned into angry Dave and starting yelling “I’m going to fucking kill you!” repeatedly to the bouncer and had to be pulled away. Despite this, we’re getting VIP treatment now. I really love Boston.

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Before I can talk about the fun festivities that was Saturday night, I first must rewind the clock and share the dirt on Friday night at Club Venu. The reason I couldn’t divulge anything yesterday was because I had one of those all-day hangovers and pretty much stayed in bed until 8PM at night when I finally got up to do my “morning cardio” even though it was already well into the evening.

The night started off with Mr. Justice and I jumping in a cab only to have another cab try to box us out and not let us move. It was some weird ass shit and we still don’t know why it happened. Brandon & I were wicked close to getting out and throwing down with the crazy ass cabbie. Eventually our driver was able to get past the crazy cabbie and took us over to Venu. We couldn’t get in at first because the place apparently wasn’t open yet at 10PM so we just walked around a bit and eventually hit up some bar for some drinks before heading back to Venu a little closer to 11.

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After some research, I’ve since learned that she’s been a big deal in the fashion industry since the late ’90s. But, truth be told, the lovely Miranda Kerr has been known to me as simply “that new Victoria’s Secret Angel” for much of the past year. For names matter not when you’re dealing with imaginative sexual relationships with women you’ve never once met.

The only reason I even bothered myself with a name was that I felt like making her Babe of the Week and the Google results for “that cute Victoria’s Secret chick that Dave Z jerks it to” didn’t turn up with enough pictures of her. So I found her name and she’s now the Babe of the Week so that’ll hopefully keep the friction going long enough to keep you warm for the holidays.