DaveZdyrko.com

I just read some article about how KFC has a new “sandwich” they’re calling the Double Down. The thing is that instead of buns, the sandwich features some fried chicken fillets as the slices and it’s packed with two pieces of bacon, melted slices of Monterey Jack and Pepper Jack cheese and a special zesty sauce.

It looks like a heart attack waiting to happen, but could also be quite tasty as long as the chicken isn’t all dried up. I may have to try one out…but just once. Any more than that and I’ll surely find myself topping 400 lbs before I know it and end up in one of those giant piano-sized caskets that was on that Jamie Oliver show. Luckily, for myself, my heart and my arteries, I’m broke for the weekend and the only food I have to eat is a bunch of broccoli, carrots, and Swiss chard. Nom noms.

The onset of the new year brought on yet another attempt for me to try and get back to some semblance of shape. My goal for Twenty10 on the weight front isn’t to get completely buff by the end of the year — not that I wouldn’t accept it if I did — but rather to transform from my morbidly obese state to where I’m Hollywood fat, aka Seth Rogan fat.

You know, it’s the kind of fat where you can be cast as the fat guy in most movies and get the occasional romantic lead and be believable in it. Not the fat that I’m at right now where you might get cast in a football movie where you play some fat ass that’s obviously too short to play football but gets cast anyway cause he’s fat or you don’t get cast at all because it’s funnier to get some skinny guy in a fat suit to play the role. In other words, if this year goes as planned I will make the transformation from The Nutty Professor to Seth Rogan.

I started the year at 328.0 lbs and got down to 325.0 lbs after the first week despite a hiccup last Saturday where Brandon’s girlfriend cooked enough food for twenty people and Justice and I scarfed it all down by ourselves while watching the Bengals sadly lose to the much hated Jets. Much beer was also consumed at that time, so the 3 lb drop for the week was quite surprising. This week has been going well and I’m expecting another respectable drop in lard on Sunday’s weigh-in. And, as always, you can follow my progress here.

I just saw some pictures of me from Friday night and they just made me want to vomit. Sure, I can see what the scale has been saying and have looked in the mirror, but damn, sometimes seeing photos can really make one notice when things are out of hand. For one, it makes me think that I may have some mind control super powers because there’d be no way I’d talk to me if I were a girl. It also inspired me to hit the gym at midnight for a second workout session today (or maybe a super early first for tomorrow depending on how you look at it).

I hope this disgust lasts because I need to stop fucking around, buckle down and just take care of business. I had a decent week and dropped from 332 to 323 from 3/27-4/3 but the fact that I’m even back up this high is beyond unexcusible. I should be shot in lieu of Darwinism taking me out naturally. I know I can’t dwell on my constant backward slides but the 5 out of 7 with the gym last week was a decent start but just not good enough. I need to be as dedicated to losing weight as I am to my job, flogging the dolphin, getting drunk, or getting girls to send me nudes. I better be “sniffin’ 210 by 2010″ or else I don’t deserve to live.

Always being sick, getting over a cold or feeling one is coming is getting really tiresome. The Massachusetts winter is really kicking the crap out of my immune system and I think I’ve only had one completely healthy week over the course of the past three months. It’s probably not a coincidence that the healthy week was the one where I exercised every single day and ate really healthy, so maybe it’s more me crapping over my immune system than the wintery mess.

Whether it’s because I’m dealing with my first real winter in more than 10 years or just me not taking care of myself, it’s pretty clear that I gotta do the part that is in my control and make it a point to eat healthy and exercise religiously. I’ve already quit the dirty smoking habit that I picked up around last June, so that’s a start. Now I just need to get back on the anti-fatty path and all should improve greatly in my life.

I was going to set one of those long-term six week goals for myself. But given the fact that I’ve been doing this quite often over the past few months and never making it more than a week, I thought it best to start off with just a one week goal.

My first goal for the week is to hit the gym hard every single morning. Not just one of those “going through the motions” workouts, either, but to pick up the intensity quite a bit. Even though I’ve had some solid workouts since moving East, I’ve never really pushed myself in nearly the same fashion as I did back when I used to lift for football. I’ve worked out hard, but haven’t really pushed myself to the extreme. I started off today with a pretty intense upper body workout and I’m hoping to replicate that intensity with all of my workouts this week while not missing a single day.

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Well, it hasn’t been going that well over the past few weeks. The morning of my surgery right before Christmas to have my gallbadder removed, I tipped the scales at about 295 lbs. Then after having an organ removed and being fed by IV all day and only eating a can of chicken soup when I got back home, I somehow woke up the next morning 12 lbs heavier at 307 lbs. No clue how that happened, to be quite frank, because I was honestly hoping for one of those hospital-inspired extreme weight losses for that day.

Things didn’t improve any after that, as I was ordered not to go to the gym for three weeks by the doctor and the snow and extreme cold weather made it near impossible for me to venture outside too often. As a result, I was pretty sedentary for my entire Holiday break and saw my weight balloon up to 310 lbs by this past Sunday. However, since the workout ban has been lifted I’ve managed to hit the gym more this week and I’m hoping to get back on track.

Baby steps. Baby steps. Dropped about one and half pounds and am now down to 297.0, which is a drop of 34.4 lbs since moving to Boston. Obviously still “too fat” but I’m going in the right direction, albeit at a rather slow pace of late. My goal of making it to the gym every day didn’t happen, but still managed two workout days in the past week, which is obviously better than nothing. Hopefully I can get back into the swing of things on that front because it should really help the pounds come off quicker as long as I keep eating healthy.

My ankle and wrist have healed enough where I was able to get back into the gym twice this past week and that surely helped me rebound from last week’s disgression that saw me back over the big three oh oh. I weighed in this morning at 298.2 lbs, a drop of 33.2 lbs since making the move to Boston. I’m banking on getting back into full swing at the gym this week, so I can start dropping some real weight again soon. Will likely be spending New Year’s in Miami, so it’d be pro if I could be down in the 270s for the coming of the new year.

For starters, I had amazing nights out on both Friday and Saturday. Both evenings were loads of fun and there were plenty of hot chicks to entertain everywhere we went. Then things went really good with all of my football teams on both Saturday and Sunday.

The Miami Hurricanes took care of business against Wake Forest and still have an outside shot at the ACC title or at least being bowl eligible. The Dolphins played great today and beat down the Buffalo Bills, with Ginn Jr finally showcasing his playmaking ability. And that’s not all, my fantasy football team scored 109 points and barring a 40+ point outburst by Scaife on MNF should up its record to 6-2 and into a three-way tie atop the division.

And in what might quite possibly be the best news of the weekend, I weighed-in this morning at 299.6 lbs. Hopefully I won’t ever allow myself to go up past the 300 mark ever again for the rest of my life. If I do, I give you permission to put a bullet in my head. It feels good to be back under 300 lbs and I can’t wait till my wrist and ankle/foot heal up so I can start getting back into the gym on a regular basis.

Only lost 2 lbs for the week, but it was another fantastic 7 days where I had excellent workouts every single morning and didn’t slip on the diet front at all during the week. I think my digestive issues are probably why more weight didn’t come off. Regardless, I’m now down to 309.2 lbs with 39.8% body fat and 22 visceral fat. All steps in the right direction so I’m happy with the continued progress. I think I’m coming down with a cold but hopefully it won’t keep me from staying on track this week, as I’m closing in on the first big milestone of getting below 300 lbs.