DaveZdyrko.com

Back in ’01 and early ’02, Britney Spears was still pretty much in her prime so when I would constantly tease readers of the IGN PSX and PS2 mailbag sections that I had nudes of young Miss Spears it tended to get the masses riled up. While a good portion of the audience either knew or figured I was full of shit, there were quite a few gullible readers out there that thought I must be telling the truth because I was a respected editor of a professional web site, so they took it hook, line and sinker.

This tomfoolery went on for months and usually ended up with me posting this “nude” of Britney where I went through the work for doing a quality Photoshop job of her face onto some naked chick only to mosaic and blur out all the good parts. I, of course, said you could click the pic to see the real photo but the link would always take the victim to something like a pic of a bodybuilder with my head Photoshop’d on top or maybe a fat chick in a swimsuit.

This culminated with my final work of trickery on my last day as an editor with IGN before taking my job with Visual Concepts to work on the 2K football titles. In my final mailbag update, I proclaimed that I would finally share the nude of Britney Spears that I had and that nobody else in the world could get their hands on because it was my last day with the site and they couldn’t fire me for posting x-rated material since I was already leaving.

For my final act of evil, I had my roommate Sam Bishop, much to his dismay, take a photograph of me half-naked with whipped-cream dripping off my mountainous man boobs while sitting on our living room couch. The act of taking the photograph has scarred Bishop for life, and I’m sure it did the same for the 1.5 million people that ended up clicking the link over the course of the next two days. I say it scarred most — but not all — because I wouldn’t be surprised if at least a few of the freaks out there rubbed at least one out to my sexy honor as I’ve done to thousands of chicks over the course of my short time on the planet.

I bring this up because today is the 9 year anniversary of the taking of my infamous whipped-cream bikini photo that can still be seen on this blog if you decide to search hard enough.

It’s my 37th birthday today and it has me reflecting on my life and got me thinking about the dreams I had growing up and whether or not I obtained any of them. Here are my top 10 dreams I had growing up as a young kid and teenager and whether or not I failed or succeeded at obtaining them:

1. Win 4 National Championships, 4 Heisman Trophies, and finish my career as a starting quarterback for the University of Miami Hurricanes with a perfect 48-0 record. FAIL
2. Win 6 Super Bowl championships, 6 league MVPs, 1 Rookie of the Year, and have two 19-0 seasons as Quarterback of the Miami Dolphins. FAIL
3. Win 2 NBA Championships playing for the Boston Celtics as a hobby during my six year reign of terror on the NFL. FAIL
4. Win 2 NHL Stanley Cups with the Philadelphia Flyers in the same two year period I won the NBA titles. FAIL
5. Win 2 World Series titles, have two 75+ HR seasons, and pitch 12 perfect games while playing for the Baltimore Orioles during those same super busy years. FAIL
6. After getting tired of the main American sports, play for the US men’s soccer team and lead them to a World Cup while scoring 3 goals per game and shattering numerous records. FAIL
7. Retire from sports by the age of 29 and start my acting and singing career that would see me win numerous Oscars and Grammys. FAIL
8. Have a threesome with supermodels Cindy Crawford and Niki Taylor. FAIL
9. Have a threesome with then teen pop stars Debbie Gibson and Tiffany. FAIL
10. Become a millionaire! FAIL

Alright, so maybe I dreamed a little too big when I was growing up. But while the ambitious goals of a young dreamer failed to fully materialize, the life I have led has been quite amazing and is only getting better. I’ve been all around the globe, have met some amazing people over the years and get to make video games for a living. Plus, I still have a shot at #10 and while I wouldn’t even want #8 or #9 anymore, I have lucked my way into a couple of threesomes and still have my hopes up for my current supermodel threesome goal of Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio or my teen pop star duo ambition of Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez (waiting till they’re 18, of course).  Happy Birthday to me.

I decided to go for a low-budget Halloween costume that would simply be an embodiment of who I am — and this is what I went with:

While I do fully intend to update this site more in the near future, your best bet to follow my daily happenings would be to do so via Twitter. It’s something I do every day — even more than masturbation, okay maybe not — and it’s more of a guaranteed thing that my intentions to update this site more, which is about as consistent with my intentions on losing weight and exercising every morning.

As you should know, I’m working on this little game called Quick Hit Football that’s currently in Beta now. It’s been getting some good press coverage. including this excellent write-up  by Jason Kincaid over at Tech Crunch.

I’m proud to reveal that my company’s newly remodeled website has officially launched with our new name — Quick Hit, Inc. @ www.quickhit.com. The name of the game has also transformed from Play Hard Football to Quick Hit Football and we’ve also just announced the signing of former Pittsburgh Steelers Head Coach, the legendary Bill Cowher, to be our official voice. A lot of exciting stuff is happening on the professional front and I can’t wait till you guys get to see what’s in store down the road with the game.

A lot of people seem to wonder about why my favorite teams are from all over the place and I’ve explained this many times, with the simple answer being that my dad was in the Air Force and we were stationed in Guam at the time I started following sports religiously. However, I haven’t really expounded too much on where exactly I’ve lived throughout my life. Here’s a basic rundown (I’m sure I’m off a little on some of the year ranges):

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One of the most popular things I did back in the IGN days was undoubtedly the “Dave Z Dances with Britney Spears” video. It was quite simply a video of my tubby butt playing the dancing game Stepping Selection for the PS2 and quite a few people got a kick out it. If you missed it the first time, well, worry not, as I’ve got it right here for your viewing pleasure!