DaveZdyrko.com

Tonight was super chill all-in-all. After getting plastered and passing out earlier in the day, I headed over to Trevor’s for a BBQ to help with my evening hangover. Had a bunch of food and drinks and after midnight rolled around a group of us headed over to this bar Tia’s near the waterfront. The place was packed with a lot a hot young talent, but I was still part hungover, part drunk and part stuffed with burgers and sausages, so I spent the night just admiring the talent and didn’t even bother talking to anyone.

After a while, I decided to walk home and on the way I almost hit the Drunk Girl Lottery. First of all, the streets were packed with hordes of hotties all over the place, as it typically is around my “hood”. Upon turning around the corner onto State Street, I bumped into this gorgeous girl who practically jumped into my arms and started kissing me. And when she was done, she said “Take me home with you so we can fuck.”

Being a stone cold pimp who always has something smart and witty to say, I replied “Why?” like a big dumb idiot. My lack of game didn’t phase her and she just said it was her 21st birthday and I was her birthday present. I was completely ready to oblige and was hoping to see if she was down with some ATM action, but by this point her cock-blocking friends caught up to her and just yanked her off me and they told her she couldn’t leave with me and that they were taking her home. Oh, well, sucks to be me!

I normally spend my Sunday’s drinking nothing but liquor, but today I decided to drink a lot of water instead. Bad move on my part. It turns out that there was some big leak and as a result Boston’s water supply is using unfiltered reserves that are highly contaminated and not drinkable. There’s a boil water order currently in effect and I didn’t find out about this until just a few hours ago. Been drinking filtered water (but not boiled) and unfiltered ice cubes all day and have likely consumed a good chunk of e. coli, parasites and fecal matter.

They say even if you’ve drank some of the infected water that it could be a week before you get sick, so even though everything seems fine now that I could have some massive diarrhea and flu-like symptoms or worse in the next week or so. I haven’t researched the medical viability of it yet, but I’m thinking one plan might be to overload my system with nothing but hard liquor for the next 7 days to try and kill all the bad stuff in my system before it can get to me. Sounds like a plan!

The news that KG will likely miss the playoffs practically ensures a seemingly inevitable title showdown between Lebron James and Kobe Bryant. While this saddens me as a Celtics fan that still had moderate to slim hopes of a repeat, it should be a great thing for the NBA and an exciting series to watch. The highly-touted Lakers versus Celtics match-up last year proved to be a bit of a letdown ratings-wise, but Lebron v Kobe should be able to get ratings on par with the Jordan era Bulls. If not, then the NBA’s funk might be even worse than thought.

Let me just say that my reaction to all this A-Rod shit is “duh!”. The reason being that Jose Canseco hasn’t lied yet and the dumb masses keep ignoring him until something comes out that tells them, “hey, maybe Canseco isn’t full of shit”. I liken it to the idiots on ID4 that appear “shocked” that Area 51 was real even after aliens have already begun invading Earth. Seriously, WTF? Some giant alien spaceships appear all over Earth and then someone says that Area 51 is real and you are shocked? Really? Doesn’t make any sense.

At this point, if Canseco claimed to stick steroid needles into the ass of Jesus I would believe him. He was right about A-Rod and he’s right about more than 2/3rds of the league using it during the early 90s. At this point, it’s non-issue to me. There’s really no way of telling who “cheated” and who didn’t so you just gotta assume that everyone did. It was “legal” in the baseball world, and, according to Canseco, more people were on it than weren’t. A-Rod used, but so did whoever is your favorite player. And, as Kevin Brown proves, it doesn’t matter if the player has muscles or not. Skinny twig bitches used steroids, too.

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While I was walking to the corner store to pick up some liquor and chips for Brandon’s Super Bowl party, I got to witness one of the hottest girls I’ve seen in my life. She was really tall and very thin, but had some amazing curves. Her chest was fighting hard against her sports bra and she had one of the most amazing asses I’ve ever seen on a girl that tall and skinny. I instantly fell in love. If it was the caveman days, I would’ve tripped her as she passed by and drug her back to my cave. But since it isn’t, I had to resort to depositing her imagery into my Spank Bank™ for later use. Maybe I can squeeze one out before I head down to the party!

After having to trudge my way through the snow to get to my car yesterday morning, I’ve come to the conclusion that I really need a flamethrower to carry around. It would’ve made jumping through the five foot snowdrifts a lot easier if I could’ve just melted that shit instead. I could’ve also melted the snow that was piled up on the un-plowed ally that I had to drive through to get onto the main road. Instead, I was stuck for 35 minutes trying to get past this slippery 10 feet of slushy and snowy mess that my rear wheel drive Lexus IS300 just couldn’t manage.

The thing is that I’m not the first person to have this ridiculous idea, as google provided quite a bit of fun crap when searching for “flamethrower snow”, including this image below that was apparently an ad in the early 1970s. The best part about this ad is the comment, “It’s so easy even your wife can do it!” I guess things were a little different back in the ’70s.

I always hate Saturday afternoons when there’s no football on because it always take me a while to figure out something to do to fill up the space that was once always occupied. I’ve just been catching up on Tivo crap and will work in some video games, but I’m feeling a bit restless and need to get out. The thing stopping me is that it’s still freaking cold outside and I still haven’t come close to adjusting to it after living in SF for the past 9 years. I’m become a bit of a pussy!

There is some promising news to report, however. I’ve just noticed that the girls directly across from me and the naked girl the floor below them have been opened up their shades this afternoon. If they stay open for tonight, I may get a peep show for free! If not, then I’ll have to count on Bad Company & Too Human to entertain myself until it’s time to get drunk and party with the hot girls of Boston.

Thankfully it’s nice and toasty in my bed right now, because it’s apparently something like 10 degrees below zero outside when you factor in the wind chill. It’s going to be a dreadful walk to my car tomorrow morning when I go to work, as it’s parked at the Marriott that’s a couple blocks away.

More now than ever I really wish my building finished the garage renovations on time because a spot would be absolute heaven right now. If I don’t post again after this, it probably means that I froze to death on the way to work and you’ll likely see something on the news about them finding a giant and tremendously ugly prehistoric beast looking thing in a block of ice in Brookline.

The super quick surgical procedure was also a Godsend because Brandon was able to pick me up before it got too insane outside with the snowfall. It was coming down hard by the time he got me from Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center and it was already white all over, but the storm had basically just hit at that time so it wasn’t overly horrendous outside.

They’re saying we will be getting up to 12″ of snow and I honestly don’t mind at all because I’m stuck inside this weekend anyway because of the surgery. Really love watching the snowfall, anyway, because it’s almost as pretty as the snow in APF during night games. It can be quite mesmorizing and, thankfully, I don’t have to drive in it.