DaveZdyrko.com

Curling has gained quite a bit of popularity over the years — as something to either watch or mock — and the only reason I give a crap about it is that it sports some of the best looking chick athletes around (guessing cause you don’t really have to be a great athlete and thus the sport isn’t filled with she-males like the WNBA).

This past Winter Olypmics featured a ton of eye-candy in the Curling ranks and I was having probably trying to pick one to feature. I couldn’t make up my mind, so I went with the trio of Melanie Robillard (Germany), Madeleine Dupont (Denmark), & Ludmila Privivkova (Russia). So, they’re all my Babe of the Week. Apologies to some of their hot and worthy teammates or competitors from other countries that didn’t quite make the cut for my podium.

I love girls of all types and ages (insert jail bait joke here). But I must admit that I have a special spot reserved in my Spank Bank™ for ladies with a little of the tanned ethnicities in them. The dark hair, brown eyes and naturally tanned skin tends to get the blood flowing into certain extremities quicker than normal. It also helps when said lady is in great shape, and has a nicely rounded ass and a pair of voluptuous double D play toys.

One such women is 23 year old model Jesse Preston. She’s a bangin’ brunette of Puerto Rican descent that has taken it all off for Playboy several times and can now add Dave’s Babe of the Week to her already stellar resume. The only thing that she needs now for her life to be complete is to become one of the notches on my bed post, which comes with a complimentary wheelchair that she’ll need after I bang her so hard and so long that my balls get stuck inside her rectum.

What did I tell you? The old fat housewives that vote on American Idol don’t like the pretty girls. And, guess what? The only girl on American Idol’s top 24 that makes my willy move even a little — Janell Wheeler — was the first tossed off the show tonight. This pretty much ends my interest Season 9.

I’m not even sure why I “still” watch American Idol anymore. I got tired of the “joke” rounds a few years ago and I’ve never really enjoyed the “serious” episodes ever. I guess the only thing that keeps me coming is the potential for a bangin’ chick every now and then.

The problem with this is that while the judges seem to let a few through to finals, the “voters” (going crazy with the quotes today) tend to weed out the hottest girls first — most likely out of jealousy considering it’s mostly fat housewives calling in.

The latest to make it through that will ultimately get cut soon is Tampa’s Janell Wheeler. A very pretty blonde-haired, brown-eyed beauty that squeaked into the Top 24 of this season. The only thing she really has going for her is that she’s slightly on the chubby side and the “pretty but chubby” chicks are the only ones that really have a shot to make it far on this show. The problem with her is that her vocals don’t seem all that impressive, but, of course, that won’t keep her from being my Babe of the Week.

Just saw some recent photos of Lindsay Lohan’s little sister, Ali Lohan, and it’s got me wondering about the girl’s bangability. Before you question me about whether or not I should even be thinking about whether or not I’d bang a 16 year old girl, let’s deal with some facts: 1) 16 is legal in Massachusetts unless she’s “chaste of life” and I’m pretty sure she isn’t. 2) She could easily pass for a 28 year old woman, so that has to count for something. 3) Even if she was 30, it’s unlikely she’d “consent” with me, so it’s a moot point.

Anyway, here are the photos I’m talking about. The girl looks much older than her age, so she’ll likely end up like her sister and be “over-the-hill” in her early 20s, but I kinda like her look. The black hair, the excessive make-up (which covers the billions of freckles), and the Dita Von Teese look kinda sorta works for her.

Pamela Anderson is so busted these days. Wish she’d realize she’s about a decade or two out of her prime because she should not be posing for photographs anymore. Same goes for Jenna Jameson. Also, don’t get why pictures of either of these two are still posted other than to say how busted they look these days.

There used to be a time a while back when the release of Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit issue was the biggest event of the year for me. I would drive to dozens of different stores trying to find a copy early even though I already had an SI sub just to get it in my hands as soon as possible. It was the highlight of my year and my first half-dozen or so true loves and soul mates just happened to be SI swimsuit models.

The issue just doesn’t mean as much to me anymore and I’m pretty sure the Internet’s to blame. That said, it still tends to feature some of the hotter babes on Planet Earth and one such beauty is Andy Roddick’s wifey, Brooklyn Decker. She’s a gorgeous blond with a great body, which is likely why she was SI’s 2010 cover girl, and is now a Babe of the Week.

Did you know that Katy Perry had such amazing boobs? I sure didn’t until a couple of weeks ago. The crazy part is that I’ve been listening to her music for quite a long time and have considered myself a fan. Yet, I had no idea that she’s a very attractive girl that has an amazing pair of tits.

I guess I’ve just been off my game, because normally this kind of shit doesn’t get by me. I’ve been listening to Hot N Cold, Waking Up In Vegas, I Kissed A Girl, and all of her other excellent catchy tunes all before knowing that I’d shove my junk in her so hard that I might get my inch and a half a full two inches inside of her. Okay, I’m exaggerating a little bit. The extra half inch is just foreskin so it doesn’t really count. Regardless, Katy Perry is a hot piece of ass and she’s my Babe of the Week.

I can’t say that I have any desire at all to watch Dear John, but if I do it will be for the simple fact that actress Amanda Seyfried is bangin’. The beautiful blonde actress has an amazing pair of eyes and she’s quit the looker. Of course, I don’t think she gets nekky in Dear John so it still might not be worth watching just for her.

The movie Chloe, on the other hand, does feature her fully unclothed, so that one will be on the must watch list for sure. For now, guess I’ll just have to check out the vidcaps from the movie that I’ve included in her Babe of the Week profile.

I’ve been having some entertaining encounters on the elevator in my building of late. Case in point, I got in the elevator with this really bangin’ blonde chick that was about 5′11″ with her 6″ heels and was dressed “Halloween in Orlando” slutty. She was really friendly and started the conversation with me asking about the liquor I was carrying and after we exchanged some flirty banter back-and-forth, I blurted out, “I hope you don’t get offended by this, but are you in this building on ‘business’?” (yes, I even used the finger quotes when saying this)

She smiled and said something like, “is it that obvious?”. While it WAS completely obvious, I said that it wasn’t and that I just assumed she was because most of the women I encounter in the building were snobby bitches and she seemed too pleasant to live here. She laughed and then we stood in the elevator doors of the 37th floor where she was getting off and talked some about her and her business there.

Turns out she’s a high-priced escort that gets a “$1,000 donation” for a mere hour of her time. She asked if I wanted her to come up after she was done with her client, but I passed saying that while I’m supportive of what she does I prefer to pray on drunk chicks that I can get for free but that if she’s bored she can always come up to my place and help me polish off the Svedka while she watches me play Mass Effect 2 on Xbox 360. She said she might take me up on it, we exchanged phone numbers, and I’m pretty sure she’ll never call me and I’ll never call her. Nevertheless, another random entertaining encounter on the Devonshire elevator.