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This made me giggle and it’s kind of fucked up whether it was a real accident or staged.

I watch a lot of really stupid shows and despite me knowing they’re stupid, I keep watching. I assume it’s just out of habit or maybe it’s some sick sadomasochist reason. First, there’s America’s Next Top Model. You could say that I watch it for the hot chicks but if you said that you’ve never seen an episode of the show. Each cycle there’s maybe 1-3 bangable bitches compared to the 9+ hideous monstrosities. And in all but maybe one or two of the seasons, one of the hideous monstrosities usually came out on top. This year, some black chick that looks more manly than most of the transvestites you come across in San Francisco, somehow keeps making it though. It pisses me off, yet I still watch.

Then there’s Big Brother 9. I also swore off watching this show after last year’s retarded finale with Dick & Danielle as the final two that I didn’t even bother watching. I decided to give it another shot, but it’s proven to be the worst season of the show ever. CBS tried to go with a younger hotter cast, but all the chicks on the show are butter and just about every single cast member is a complete idiot. They don’t understand strategy and a few of them have made the dumbest decisions in Big Brother history.

My last rant will be about Beauty & the Geek. I understand that they’ve always taken huge liberties with the “beauties” as they’ve mostly just been dumb whores more so than actual beautiful woman.  But the big black woman on it is less of a beauty than I am and most likely some Flavor of Love reject. It shouldn’t, but it angers me that she’s on the show as a beauty. Kind of like how it pisses me off every time the Poison dude refers to the Rock of Love trash as beautiful women. It’s just not even close to true in 90% of the cases. Nevertheless, I watch and somehow enjoy this crap despite the fact that watching usually leaves me angered.

I shouldn’t get so pissed at such a dumb ass show. The past two winners couldn’t even speak the damn English language, with the most recent one sounding (and looking) like a “bad” transvestite (tranny Jaslene). Nevertheless, I can’t help but be infuriated that my favorite got eliminated despite the fact that she took the BEST pictures. She was the clear superior throughout the entire show! Even Tyra admitted it before eliminating her!

So, why did she get eliminated and not make the final two? Well, she was real! She was sarcastic. She wasn’t a fake bubbly bitch like Chantal and Saliesha. She rubbed some people the wrong way, but not because she’s bad but because the British snob Nigel expected everyone to kiss his ass. I LOVED her sarcasm. I thought it was funny. She was a girl I would hang out even if she was 300 lbs and smelled like two week old Jack in the Box.

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My nuts may no longer be rightfully mine after admitting this, but one of my guilty pleasures is watching ANTM. One might think watching a show about a bunch of models wouldn’t warrant the loss of membership to the Men’s Club because there’s nothing unmanly about ogling at beautiful women. However, ANTM doesn’t fit this because 99% of the women on the show are nickels more so than dimes. I get my enjoyment out of just watching women being all caddy, bitchy, two-faced, and dishonest. Well, okay, I could’ve saved some time by just saying “women being women”.

With that out of the way, I’ll further cement my banishment from the Men’s Club by proclaiming that I’m all about Team Jenah! Not that there’s anything wrong with being a fan of a lovely young woman, but rather it just being a bit less-than-masculine using that “Team Blah” phrase. Regardless, I’m a fan of hers for the simple fact that she’s the one that I’d most want to bang the shit out of. I’m not just talking about normal boring sex, either, but jumping off the top rope Jimmy Superfly Snuka style sex where you yell “cowabunga” and are at risk of torn ACLs and a fractured vertebrae. Even with her overly big eyes, gummy smile, funky ears, and often raunchy hair, she’s the clear babe in the group with only the recently cut Heather in her league.