DaveZdyrko.com

American Idol is such a sausage fest this year and I can’t stand it. Might actually stop watching before the top 12 even starts, which is about four to six weeks earlier than I usually give up. My theory is that it’s because I’m guessing that 90% of the people that vote for this crap are women and thus the hot guys do well, as do the sob stories or the really likable characters. The really HOT girls never make it far. Sure, girls like Kelly Clarkson, Katherine McPhee and Carrie Underwood are pretty, but my guess is that they were able to get past the girl jealousy because they were a flawed beautiful. All three were chubby bitches most of the show and thus related to all the women voters. Case in point is how McPhee seemed to do much better in the earlier rounds when she was chubs and she eventually got knocked off once she slimmed down tremendously. Chick jealousy can be pretty intense and being able to use it to your advantage is often the only way ugly dudes like me can nail hotties. But, that’s a bit off topic. The point is that Idol is too much of a sausage fest for me this season because of this chick jealousy and I’m done.

I kind of forgot about her when I made the comment about Idol’s lack of hot girls this season because I’ve been in hyper fast forward mode when watching the show on Tivo and think I must’ve skipped her and assumed the jealousy of the two old women judges caused her to miss the cut already. Luckily, that’s apparently not he case and Casey Carlson is still alive and well in the competition.

The lovely lady also has some nice bikini photos in her history so that has helped make her a prime Babe of the Week candidate. Unlike the other “Bikini Girl” who while I thought had a magnificent body was completely Butter. Not saying that I wouldn’t do her, but come on, there are plenty of girls with body’s as good or better than have faces 10,000 times prettier than the “Bikini Girl”. Case in point…Casey Carlson.

American Idol has been crap for years (arguably from the beginning) but the schtick has really worn thin. It’s so predictable who they’re going to cut or let through these days and it’s the suspense that often makes it interesting. The suspense just isn’t there anymore. I’m thinking that in order to mix things up they really ought to get downright evil with these announcements and instead of doing that lame crap were they say something like “you won’t be happy with our decision…” (long pause) “you’ll absolutely LOVE it!”, I’m thinking they need to start really screwing with people’s minds. Tell them they’ve made it and then after they’ve jumped around and started walking back…call them back and say that it was a joke and they’re being sent home. Now THAT would spice crap up and make me more interested. Also, why aren’t there any hot chicks anymore? I’m not seeing them.

We sadly said goodbye to my boy Danny Noriega last night on American Idol. I’m going to miss that girl! The way he would get all sassy with Simon, shake her hips when he sang, and give us her cutest pouty lips when he was sad was pure entertainment. I never ceased to be confused or amused when Miss Danny performed on stage. He will surely be missed and here’s hoping we see more of her in the future!

I’m not quite sure if I have a favorite left. The little Asian chick is hella cute, but I’m not too excited this year. They keep saying it’s the best ever, but I’m not buying into it. Not sure any of the final 12 could hold Kelly Clarkson’s jockstrap and I’m not saying that as a joke about her monstrous ass. None of the girls or guys are in her league and I find myself fast forwarding through most of the songs after the first few boring seconds of each. It befuddles me that I still watch it.

I don’t even know why I still watch it, but American Idol is on my Tivo list and I admittedly love when Simon keeps it real and rips into someone’s ass. A lot of people think he’s an ass, but I tend to agree with his comments 99.9% of the time. Anyway, that’s not what this post about. Tonight was “guys” night but one of the guys just seemed….well….like a chick. The boy, or girl, in question is Danny Noriega. The dude’s more female than half the girls I’ve come across in my life. If he got a boob job and ass implants, I’d consider tapping that shit. Well, not really. But you get what I mean. It’s all cool though, someone just needs to hook him up with Christian from Project Runway.

Whatever happened to it? For whatever reason (bored, horny, etc), I’ve been on a bit of a sex tape hunt the past 24 hours. One of them that I have had no luck checking out is the apparently dirty and hardcore sex tape with Olivia Mojica, a top 24 finalist from American Idol.

I followed about 100 pages of links, but couldn’t find anything. Every site that had posted pictures and/or videos from it either had broken links or notices that the content was removed do to copyright reasons. The official Vivid site for it has a big “coming soon” image and it appears that it was supposed to be released way back in May. A couple of sites reported that its release was delayed indefinitely, but I couldn’t find much follow-up. So…what the fuck happened to it?