Who's Dave Z?
Dreamcast
03/24/2002
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It's all about the Dave's I just realized something. With the exception of Dave Attell and David Smith, you are the coolest guy around. Holy crap, I just realized something else. My 3 idols have the same name. That's awesome. Kyle Dear Kyle, I'm glad that you think I'm cool, but I'm not in the same league as those other two Dave's (okay, I'm way above them). The coolest Dave around, though, is David Toole of Gamespot. He's the Senior Producer of Gamespot Live, he can dance better than anyone else in the videogame industry and he has an amazing ass. Give him and email and let him know just how sweet his ass is. Getting rid of addictions How in the hell am I supposed to get rid of the addiction that is Hot Shots Golf 3 ?!?!?!? I've tried about everything; TV, movies, music, twelve step programs, ganja and even porn. I was thinking about getting a crack habit. Maybe that would take my mind off of the game (and everything else for that matter). On another note, I see that you don't even have it in your library, but you do have Swing Away (blech...). HSG3 is IMHO wayyyyyy better. (There's an in-depth review for you). I'd give it a real review but I feel overshadowed by your reviewing greatness. But back to my addiction. What should I do? You must have dealt with this before. Sage advice requested. John Dear John, Did you know that you have the same name as my brother? Are you my brother? No, I doubt it. Anyway... Fuck getting rid of addictions. I've been addicted for several things all my life including food, sex (masturbation mostly...), alcohol, and videogames. I used to try and "do something" about the addictions and learned that all it does is make life for stressful. So you're addicted to Hot Shots Golf 3? So fucking what. Just play it and have fun. If your wife/mom/dad/girlfriend/etc have a problem with it, let them worry about it and not you. Just keep doing what's making you happy and fuck everything else. As for why I have Swing Away and not HSG3, it's all about getting Swing Away free while working at IGN and not getting HSG3 free since I no longer work there. It's all about the Benjamins. Eating IGN Did you consume IGN? Dude! Dave, did you purchase and then totally swallow the IGN network?
The end is coming my friend...quick, burp it up! Oh yeah, great
site man! Dear Scrat and other guy, I don't know what you're talking about... Okay, I do. But, I have nothing funny to say in response. Cat pooping on floor Dave, And now, for the real question, DUDE put up better babes of the weeks with
hotties in bikinis and thongs with big boobs and big asses...AND IM NOT
TALKING ABOUT PICTURES OF U. that would be helpful 4 me and my cat
pooping problem. Dear JP, First the cat problem. You must kill the stupid pussy. My suggestion is to first cover it in something flammable, lighter fluid works well. Then light it on fire and then throw it in front of a moving train. Don't worry, it won't die unless it's already down to its last life. It will teach the pussy a lessen, though. DVD choices... Some good choices on the DVD's, especially the Kevin Smith movies and of course the best movie of all time is Clerks. What a classic film but your missing a very important movie. The Big Lebowski, you have to get that one, its fucking hilarious. Oh you should also get the clerks cartoons DVD, that's funny stuff as well. Actually, the only reason I don't own The Big Lebowski is that my flatmate owns a copy so I haven't gone out of my way to pick one up since what's his is mine and so on. It is a great movie and we (my flatmate Sam, Dave Toole, and myself) actually watched it last night while we pounded down some White Russians (Vodka, Kahlua, Milk/Cream). I just farted...and it really stinks. I so need to wipe my ass right now... CD collection You should also post all of your CD collection on the site. The CD collection will be a tough one because I haven't been keeping track of it. But, I'll do it eventually because it'll be good for a few laughs because it'll show how ODD my tastes have been over the years. MGS, ass? Answer me this...am I the only person in the universe that realizes that the metal gear solid series is ass? J By "ass" do you mean cool or "kick ass"? I'm getting old and I can't keep up with the lingo of the kids anymore. Britney in Australia I wouldn't mind seeing those pics of Brit on the beach in Aus? since I live in oz, would definitely be a spank bank pic I'm sure;) Anyway thanks for the babes of the month;) Your wish will be my command, but not today. Look for the Britney pictures from Australia sometime this week. I just didn't post them before because I had put them up in some old IGNPS2 Letters update. The man Damn u are the man. Where did u find those awesome new pics of Britney? I'd just like to say that I enjoy your website very much. I find myself going to your site every day just to see if you've updated. I've been following your site since u first had the link in the ign.ps2 letters, when it had the coming soon logo. But anyways keep up the good work, and keep posting those damn pics of Britney and all the other hot teen (women) pop stars. Also I clicked on your link for 800.com and it took me to the circuit city website. were u maybe talking about 800go.com? Thanks a lot. remember my name John S. from Phoenix AZ. I hope to email u about your site in the future. I'm a sophomore at high school and everyone I talk to online and some people at school I always mention your website to people , and they tell ask me for the site and I don't know how to spell your last name so I just tell them to go online and ill send them a link. p.s I even emailed IGN and told them they better not forget u cause u were the best writer there. I get all my pictures straight from Britney Spears. Ever since doing that Stepping Selection video, I've been an online pen pal of ole "Brit", as I like to call her. Whenever new pictures of her become available, she lets me know. I'm trying hard to get her to do a nude spread for me, but she's not falling for it... I'll keep trying, though. Dammit Dave! Dammit Dave, How come u get all these games how bout u send me all ur games or the ones
u don't like? If u don't ill cut off ur penis and use it as a 6th
finger. Dammit Dave u sukk Britney Spear's Boobs. And she sukks ur
penis. And ur the luckiest man alive. DAMMIT DAVE!!!!!! Dumb piece of ass Dear Dumb Piece of Ass, I definitely would be the luckiest man alive if I was sucking Brit's boobs and she was sucking my massively huge Super Penis™ . Actually, fuck that. If that was true, SHE would be the luckiest person alive to have a guy like me. I'm black? My dear, sweet Dave Z. You are the man. I've been reading your reviews since way back in the day, how ever long that may be. Now that you have left IGN.com, I have no reason to continue going there. Though I'm sure the website has it's merits, I don't feel like paying money for such things, but that's not what I'm here to talk about. First off, I took a look at your DVD collection. It is quite impressive. If l had looked at it without knowing who's DVD's those were, I would have come up with the image of a chubby schoolgirl who knows kung fu and has an extra y chromosome here and there. I see "Josie and the Pussy Cats" along with "Cowboy Bebop" and "Full Metal Jacket". Though I find it a bit strange that you own Princess Diaries, I'm not one to judge a person, and I'm especially not one to judge a mentor, and definitely not one with a large waist size. Oh, by the way, buy all of the Cowboy Bebop series, and go watch "Love Hina" which is ten times better than any other anime in existence right now (Just don't listen to the English dub or your ears will bleed). Second on my list of topics is your Sega Saturn list. I see that you have a very good library of games. You had every single one I had hoped you would have save two, maybe three. I neither saw "Oasis" - a very kick ass game, nor did I see "Mysteria" which is one of the best games to grace the system. Also, there's no Lunar 2: Eternal Blue, which I actually just started playing again on the PSX. Third on my list is Beating the Bishop. I have a group of friends that has started a club called simply the "Double Digits Club". It's pretty self explanatory, but I'll explain anyways. Anyone who has spooged ten times or more in a single day is instantly a member. It's a rather tasking initiation, but it has been done. I'm sure that you however have started the triple digit club by now, and are working on the quadruple club. Also, do those Virtual Sex movies suck? I was planning on buying one sooner or later, but if you say they aren't that good, the must not be good. Fourthly, I have come to the realization that all fat black men on this earth are cool. I have not met one over weight African American who wasn't the coolest person in the world. I can't explain it, and no one else I know can, but it is a fact. This leads me to believe you, Dave Zdyrko, are black. I am willing to put money down that you pulled a Michael Jackson, because you are the coolest person ever, and are quaintly overweight. You're either black, or my dad. I don't
know or care which one you are, but you are one of the two. Well, I'm going to
go now. Keep up the great work on the site, and keep us informed on Britney
Spears sunbathing experiences. Oh, and I want more pics of your wild parties
and such. ~Later Dear Simon, You're a really funny guy, you must get laid nearly as often as I do... Anyway, I'll try and tackle each of your comments and questions. 1) My DVD collection. You're pretty close with your "chubby schoolgirl who knows kung fu and has an extra y chromosome here and there" statement. I'm a chubby guy that knows Kung Fu and likes schoolgirls. It's like the recent Playboy Playmate of the Month -- she looks hot and all, but I'm turned on the most by her picture on the pull out that says "16 years old". This actually explains why The Princess Diaries is in my collection. I'm in love with Mandy Moore! She plays the stuck up chick in the movie and is super cute in it. When it comes out on DVD, I will also have A Walk To Remember in my collection. Yes, I'm a perv. 2) The Saturn games. I actually do have Oasis and Mysteria (as well as other games like Panzer Dragoon Saga), but they're not on that list because a friend has it in Redding...and I may never see them again. 3) Beating the Bishop. That's super funny shit because my roommate's last name is "Bishop" and he's also a chronic masturbator. He's now Sam "Beating the" Bishop. I'm pretty sure that I have made it to triple digits. I'm able to spooge and then do it again without having to wait. I've been training for a long time and really believe that I'm the best in the world. 4) Yes, the Virtual Sex movies do suck and you might be right about the me being black thing. I mean, I've been told numerous times by women that I'm hung like a black man. So, maybe I have some of that goodness in my gene pool -- it could also explain my ultra-coolness.
If you have a question, about games or life in general, just send it to "Dear Dave". | |||||||||||
