The result of all this is that you get a trio of Babe of the Week’s this week! Sure, it’s only to catch me up, but you’re still getting a set of three smoking hot babes in a short amount of time. So, go ahead and check out Willa Ford, Lucy Hale, and Odette Yustman. And if you want to blame anything for my inconsistent updates, blame girls like them for occupying so much of my time!

The only positive is that the numb hands has made every masturbation attempt “the stranger” because it feels like someone else is jerking my junk. But even with that, there’s a negative. I have pretty harsh and weathered hands, so it’s really hard to imagine that it’s a chick that’s doing the deed rather than a guy. It still doesn’t stop me…does that doesn’t mean I’m gay? Probably not, just love that whole orgasm thing. I truly hate the snow.

While that gave me a lot of hope, the way things were going early on in the Dolphins game had me nervous beyond belief. They were seemingly dominating the Jets, but kept making significant boneheaded mistakes. The Pennington fumble, the Ricky drop on what would’ve been a huge pass play, and the errant pass by Ronnie Brown that could’ve been a potential long TD. Throw in those and all the false starts and offsides and I was beginning to think it just wasn’t meant to be. Luckily, things started to come together. Favre started trying to put his interceptions record out of reach, and we held on to a euphoric 24-17 win.

To be quite frank, I don’t think we have any shot at all at making it to and winning the Super Bowl. We won’t likely make it out of the first round. However, after suffering through a 1-15 season last year, just making the playoffs is a huge victory for me. That said, it’s the playoffs and anything can happen. Maybe we surprise some folks, myself included, and we make a nice little run.

First, he fumbled inside his own god damn 5 yard line. Take care of the fucking ball you fucking moron! Just take the sack or throw it away, don’t run around with the ball loose like the world’s biggest moron. His idiotic fumble resulted in a Cal TD that gave them a 24-17 lead with 2 1/2 minutes left to play. So, he has a shot to make up for it, right? Well, yeah, except his idiotic play continued.

It started with our retarded offensive coordinator starting off with a straight run play, that netted us nothing and took some time off the clock. Then Jacory, dinked and dunked it 3 times to gain 9 yards and a first down while taking a minute and a half off the clock. Then the brainless wonder takes off running and instead of just stepping out of bounds like he had a clear shot to, he cuts it up field and takes off another 30+ seconds off the clock. He waisted 2 minutes just to gain about 15 yards. Pure genius. I hate him and blame his retarded ass for us losing to Cal.

That said, the series has clearly gone on for far too long. The characters just lack the depth that’s needed to sustain them beyond a couple of seasons. The best thing that happened to the series was when Sarah Tancredi died but they fucked that up and it turned out she was still alive. Now every single episode I’m stuck praying that the bitch dies because she’s one of the most annoying female characters on television.

The only reason I don’t straight up call her the absolute most annoying is that the chick Gretchen on the show gives her a run for her money in that department. Sarah and Gretchen both try to use their sexuality on the show but it’s never believable because they’re devoid of any sex appeal or the ability to act. I want them killed off like you wouldn’t imagine.

What’s worse, the guys are starting to annoy me equally as much. I’ve never hated a male character in a movie or television series as much as I hate Lincoln Burrows. The guy’s a giant duschbag that should’ve never been saved from the electric chair in the first place. I have grown to completely despise him over the years. For this show to make me happy again, Lincoln, Sarah and Gretchen all need to die horrifically painful and violent deaths. It’s the only thing that could possibly save it.

I’m still a bit pessimistic about their chances at beating the Jets, but it’s pretty simple for them — if they win they’re AFC East champs and in the playoffs, if they don’t, they’re most likely left out in the cold. After last year’s 1-15 disaster, I honestly couldn’t have wished for anything better than this. I’m proud of them either way and it’s been a very fun year of watching them play.

The truth is that I had no idea whether or not it was even a good movie. I just wanted to see it for the young Kate Beckinsale because that’s all it takes for me sometimes, as seen by my extensive Jessica Alba movie collection. What I found out that it was a fairly entertaining movie and was worth watching for more than just Kate Beckinsale jerk material. It gets a full cock up from me.

As I’ve mentioned previously, this show is filled with Spank Bank™-worthy fodder and, believe me, I’ve been stiffening quite a few socks and wash cloths thanks its inspirational message. There will inevitably be a plethora of future BotW’s that will come from this Showtime classic. And while on the topic of Showtime, there’s some hot naked Asian girl on TV now in some movie called Swingers Sex Party. Forgive me, while I see what it’s all about.

They’re saying we will be getting up to 12″ of snow and I honestly don’t mind at all because I’m stuck inside this weekend anyway because of the surgery. Really love watching the snowfall, anyway, because it’s almost as pretty as the snow in APF during night games. It can be quite mesmorizing and, thankfully, I don’t have to drive in it.

The various holes they needed to put in my belly do hurt a bit, but the percocet is doing a fine job of making that a bit of a non-issue, as well. The only downer is that the pain meds has caused some constipation so it’s hard to poo even though I really have the urge to get some of this crap out of me (in fact, I’m posting this blog entry via the crapper).

Nevertheless, I’m glad to finally have this taken care of because it’s been a pain in my ass — well moreso the stomach and back — for much of the past six months. It’ll be nice not to have to deal with it anymore.

Things are also looking good for the Dolphins after winning yet another close game today. They’re still in a 3-way tie for first place in the AFC East with the Jets and Pats, and are still in complete control of their destiny. They beat the Chiefs and Jets and they’re in. If not, then they’re probably watching the playoffs from home yet again.

The series is just phenomenally interesting and it got me hooked with all the tits in the first episode. I’m saddened by the fact that the tits decreased over time, but I’m willing to forgive it because of the excellent writing and always witty dialog. It’s like all the characters are as smart, as fun and as witty as I am. With the big difference being that they all get laid a lot more than me, which in a wierd way gives me some hope for happiness. If you don’t have Showtime already, you need to get it for this, Weeds, and Dexter.

The problem out here is that it’s a lot harder to spot them early. Back in San Francisco, an SUV with stuffed animals or Hello Kitty stickers all over the windows pretty much signaled to you that you needed to get off the road immediately or face potential death or mutilation. Here in Mass, there’s no tell signs because it can be anyone, including white males, which completely baffles me.

Seriously, it is NOT that hard to understand the concept of merging into traffic. If you use the merge lane to get up to the speed of the traffic, it is tremendously EASY to slide right in (that’s what she said!). If you come to a complete STOP in the middle of that same damn merge lane, it is extremely difficult to find a gap big enough for you to accelerate into. Dirt simple mindless shit, but apparently only 1 out of 5 people actually understand this concept here.

Then there’s the whole driving 25 MPH below the speed limit when it’s raining…and when you’re on a side road where the speed limit is 45 MPH. The roads weren’t THAT wet and you could’ve easily driven the speed limit without any fear of hydroplaning or what not. There’s no reason to be going 20 freaking miles per hour, especially when these same people will go 60 on the highway after getting off that stupid road. It’s fucking retarded.

The show is just flat out brilliant and is must-see TV if you’re not already watching it. I would catch up on all the Season 4 episodes that I’ve been saving on my Tivo, but I figured I’d save something for the weekend and get some sleep tonight instead. The first two eps of season 4 were excellent and from what I’ve heard things just keep getting better in the next 8. It just has the perfect combination of comedy and drama and the characters are superb, with the exception of Celia who always seems to inspire murder rage with me (although, maybe she’s a great character in that sense). Oh, and I could’ve lived without seeing the Frankenboobies, but the hot porn stars kind of made up for it. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it just means you need to watch the damn show already!

Anyway, I first saw Taylor Momsen in the movie Underdog and that sparked my interest enough to google her and find out that she was an actress in that TV series Gossip Girl that I’ve heard some good things about but will likely never watch. She might be extremely young, but she is really nice on the eyes and does look fairly mature for her age, which makes her fair game for all the old dirty pervs out there. Enjoy her as my Babe of the Week!

Anyway, this weekend should be a blast. The plan is to hit up Middlesex Lounge in Cambridge tonight without the angry friend and then tomorrow we’ll be back at Model Central, aka Venu in Boston. I’m expecting the roll to be fierce on both nights and hopefully I’ll come back with some good stories, maybe some pics and if I’m lucky some brand new STDs.