DaveZdyrko.com

VH1′s Rock of Love might not be helping Bret Michaels find true love, but the attention starved girls that tend to bring on the show have made for some excellent Babe of the Week material. It really helps that a handful of them are somewhat hot and many have pasts that have included plenty of naughty body-displaying behavior which is a beautiful thing for a guy like me.

One of the ladies that fits this mold is Penthouse Pet of the Year and Rock of Love Bus contestant Taya Parker who has tons of nudes readily available for your viewing pleasure all over the Internet, including a few I’ve included with this Babe of the Week pictorial. Hope you enjoy her big ole breastsississ.

I’m not quite sure it’s even Jessica Simpson and I have no clue if it’s Photoshop’d or not. Hell, not even sure if this qualifies as camel toe because you see so damn much. All that notwithstanding, the point is that once my boy sent me this pic, I was instantly aroused and it made for an uncomfortable moment in line at the 7-Eleven behind some overly curious and touchy old lady. Hope you enjoy it as much as the old lady did.

I’m actually quite reluctant to name Megan Hauserman my latest Babe of the Week because she’s probably the least attractive girl I’ve ever bestowed this honor. Hell, despite my general horniness and desperation, if I had sex with her she’d be by far the least attractive girl I’ve ever boned. Her face is just frightful and she always looks like she’s trying to pinch off a loaf. All that said, she does have an immensely hot body and I would have no problem banging the hell out of her with a paper bag covering her face. We’ll leave it at that.

To celebrate her 18th birthday, it appears that Harry Potters’ Hermione Granger, aka Emma Watson, decided to join the celeb upskirt crew upon leaving her party. She’s apparently wise enough to not go panty-less, but still not yet skilled enough to keep the goods better hidden. It is also crystal clear that she’s not yet learned the spell to cleanly wax that bush.

The lovely Leticia Cline is this week’s Babe of the Week honoree, but I’m not going to use this space to talk about how great she looks or how much I’d love to Russian her before nutting in her face. I’m just here to bitch about how my web host is so damn fucking slow these days.

It’s been a prison rape painful to upload and update for the past month or so. It’s just beyond ridiculous. It used to take me less than a minute to update a regular post and maybe three to five minutes to do a Babe update, but now the regular shit is taking 10 minutes and today’s Babe update took 56 minutes. Nearly a fucking hour to do something that’s normally less than five minutes.

I watch a lot of really stupid shows and despite me knowing they’re stupid, I keep watching. I assume it’s just out of habit or maybe it’s some sick sadomasochist reason. First, there’s America’s Next Top Model. You could say that I watch it for the hot chicks but if you said that you’ve never seen an episode of the show. Each cycle there’s maybe 1-3 bangable bitches compared to the 9+ hideous monstrosities. And in all but maybe one or two of the seasons, one of the hideous monstrosities usually came out on top. This year, some black chick that looks more manly than most of the transvestites you come across in San Francisco, somehow keeps making it though. It pisses me off, yet I still watch.

Then there’s Big Brother 9. I also swore off watching this show after last year’s retarded finale with Dick & Danielle as the final two that I didn’t even bother watching. I decided to give it another shot, but it’s proven to be the worst season of the show ever. CBS tried to go with a younger hotter cast, but all the chicks on the show are butter and just about every single cast member is a complete idiot. They don’t understand strategy and a few of them have made the dumbest decisions in Big Brother history.

My last rant will be about Beauty & the Geek. I understand that they’ve always taken huge liberties with the “beauties” as they’ve mostly just been dumb whores more so than actual beautiful woman.  But the big black woman on it is less of a beauty than I am and most likely some Flavor of Love reject. It shouldn’t, but it angers me that she’s on the show as a beauty. Kind of like how it pisses me off every time the Poison dude refers to the Rock of Love trash as beautiful women. It’s just not even close to true in 90% of the cases. Nevertheless, I watch and somehow enjoy this crap despite the fact that watching usually leaves me angered.

We sadly said goodbye to my boy Danny Noriega last night on American Idol. I’m going to miss that girl! The way he would get all sassy with Simon, shake her hips when he sang, and give us her cutest pouty lips when he was sad was pure entertainment. I never ceased to be confused or amused when Miss Danny performed on stage. He will surely be missed and here’s hoping we see more of her in the future!

I’m not quite sure if I have a favorite left. The little Asian chick is hella cute, but I’m not too excited this year. They keep saying it’s the best ever, but I’m not buying into it. Not sure any of the final 12 could hold Kelly Clarkson’s jockstrap and I’m not saying that as a joke about her monstrous ass. None of the girls or guys are in her league and I find myself fast forwarding through most of the songs after the first few boring seconds of each. It befuddles me that I still watch it.

I hate to admit it, but I thoroughly enjoy watching Rock of Love 2. Actually, I’m lying. I don’t hate to admit it. It’s horrifically bad, yet tremendously entertaining mindless television and it never ceases to bring a smile to my face. Seeing a bunch of trashy sluts fight over and throw themselves over an old ass balding rock star is non-stop comic relief. It also doesn’t hurt that there’s occasionally a scantily-clad bangworthy slut frolicking around for my erotic enjoyment.

One of the girls on the show that I would actually consider tearing a new one — and there aren’t many that I would touch even after downing a dozen Jager bombs — is the former Playboy Cyber Girl of the Week and my newest Babe of the Week, Kristy Joe Muller. The girl is portrayed as being a bit screwed up emotionally, but on her good days you won’t find many girls out there that deserve a spot in your Spank Bank™ more than her.

I don’t even know why I still watch it, but American Idol is on my Tivo list and I admittedly love when Simon keeps it real and rips into someone’s ass. A lot of people think he’s an ass, but I tend to agree with his comments 99.9% of the time. Anyway, that’s not what this post about. Tonight was “guys” night but one of the guys just seemed….well….like a chick. The boy, or girl, in question is Danny Noriega. The dude’s more female than half the girls I’ve come across in my life. If he got a boob job and ass implants, I’d consider tapping that shit. Well, not really. But you get what I mean. It’s all cool though, someone just needs to hook him up with Christian from Project Runway.

The fact that you can get a lesbian love triangle going in Mass Effect is without a doubt one of the coolest Easter Eggs you can find in any video game. It’s as if the developers had me in mind when they figured they’d allow this to happen in their game. I’m kind of shocked that there hasn’t been some retarded backlash against this. Anyway, I’m at 780/1000 with this game and will have to beat it at least two more times to get the full 1000. I feel the need to complete this just to make up for all the cupcake 1000s I’ve gotten over the past six months.

Speaking of retarded, I thought it was stupid that the old chick on Big Brother 9 last week that was flipping out over the crazy dude for his politically incorrectness in referring to kids with autism as retards.  I completely agree that it was in poor taste, as I’d rather use the word to describe people that do stupid things rather than to describe someone with a mental handicap, but at least this guy spends his life helping these kids with special needs.

What’s more important, that he avoids the use of the word “retard” or the fact that he’s spending each and every day of his life helping these children out (at least when he’s not on BB9)? I think actions speak louder than words and unless this woman is also spending her life helping out these kids, which she doesn’t, then she should have no say in the matter. His helping these kids are doing way more good than her defending them against his ignorant speech.