One of the ladies that fits this mold is Penthouse Pet of the Year and Rock of Love Bus contestant Taya Parker who has tons of nudes readily available for your viewing pleasure all over the Internet, including a few I’ve included with this Babe of the Week pictorial. Hope you enjoy her big ole breastsississ.

It’s been a prison rape painful to upload and update for the past month or so. It’s just beyond ridiculous. It used to take me less than a minute to update a regular post and maybe three to five minutes to do a Babe update, but now the regular shit is taking 10 minutes and today’s Babe update took 56 minutes. Nearly a fucking hour to do something that’s normally less than five minutes.

Then there’s Big Brother 9. I also swore off watching this show after last year’s retarded finale with Dick & Danielle as the final two that I didn’t even bother watching. I decided to give it another shot, but it’s proven to be the worst season of the show ever. CBS tried to go with a younger hotter cast, but all the chicks on the show are butter and just about every single cast member is a complete idiot. They don’t understand strategy and a few of them have made the dumbest decisions in Big Brother history.

My last rant will be about Beauty & the Geek. I understand that they’ve always taken huge liberties with the “beauties” as they’ve mostly just been dumb whores more so than actual beautiful woman.  But the big black woman on it is less of a beauty than I am and most likely some Flavor of Love reject. It shouldn’t, but it angers me that she’s on the show as a beauty. Kind of like how it pisses me off every time the Poison dude refers to the Rock of Love trash as beautiful women. It’s just not even close to true in 90% of the cases. Nevertheless, I watch and somehow enjoy this crap despite the fact that watching usually leaves me angered.

I’m not quite sure if I have a favorite left. The little Asian chick is hella cute, but I’m not too excited this year. They keep saying it’s the best ever, but I’m not buying into it. Not sure any of the final 12 could hold Kelly Clarkson’s jockstrap and I’m not saying that as a joke about her monstrous ass. None of the girls or guys are in her league and I find myself fast forwarding through most of the songs after the first few boring seconds of each. It befuddles me that I still watch it.

One of the girls on the show that I would actually consider tearing a new one — and there aren’t many that I would touch even after downing a dozen Jager bombs — is the former Playboy Cyber Girl of the Week and my newest Babe of the Week, Kristy Joe Muller. The girl is portrayed as being a bit screwed up emotionally, but on her good days you won’t find many girls out there that deserve a spot in your Spank Bank™ more than her.

Speaking of retarded, I thought it was stupid that the old chick on Big Brother 9 last week that was flipping out over the crazy dude for his politically incorrectness in referring to kids with autism as retards.  I completely agree that it was in poor taste, as I’d rather use the word to describe people that do stupid things rather than to describe someone with a mental handicap, but at least this guy spends his life helping these kids with special needs.

What’s more important, that he avoids the use of the word “retard” or the fact that he’s spending each and every day of his life helping these children out (at least when he’s not on BB9)? I think actions speak louder than words and unless this woman is also spending her life helping out these kids, which she doesn’t, then she should have no say in the matter. His helping these kids are doing way more good than her defending them against his ignorant speech.

I can’t say I’m a fan of the fact she bailed on the show for an obviously overly possessive retard, but everyone makes mistakes. I sure as hell did when I decided to wipe the sweat off my face this morning with the same rag that I just splooged in. If I could go back in time and have a do over, I would surely do things differently and I’m quite sure that she would as well.

My hypothesis is that it’s pretty damn mindless and consequently is something you can have on the TV as good background noise that you don’t really have to pay attention to in order to follow the story. Either way, that Heidi Montag chick with her big fake boobies is a spank-worthy babe that looks mighty fine in a bikini (not sure if I’m a fan of the post-surgery face, however).

For more of Shauvon’s boobies, check out her Babe of the Week pictorial!

Well you remember what I said what a man is. It aint how much liqour he can drink. It aint how much ass he can whoop. It’s how he handles himself in a crisis. Your true colors come out in a crisis.

Even though I show my manliness in the liquor I drink, the ass I whoop and the pussy I tap, it’s how I handle myself when the shit hits the fan that defines me. Cohutta’s grandfather nailed it. His words even top Uncle Ben’s, “with great power comes great responsibility,” mainly because very few people have great power, yet everyone will find themselves in a crisis.

So, why did she get eliminated and not make the final two? Well, she was real! She was sarcastic. She wasn’t a fake bubbly bitch like Chantal and Saliesha. She rubbed some people the wrong way, but not because she’s bad but because the British snob Nigel expected everyone to kiss his ass. I LOVED her sarcasm. I thought it was funny. She was a girl I would hang out even if she was 300 lbs and smelled like two week old Jack in the Box.

Yet, because she was REAL, she didn’t make it into the final two of ANTM because they needed a racially equal final pairing (one white, one minority — like every single ANTM final seems to be) with two super fake “bubbly” bitches. Chantal is all happy and bubbly, but shes FAKE. I know girls like her and Saliesha. They’re all nice and bubbly for the camera, but they’re the most evil and sadistic bitches in the group.

Take Saliesha, for example. When the evil cunt Bianca was constantly bashing the fuck out of the mentally-handicapped bitch, Saliesha was HELPING her and was SUPPORTING her in bashing her. She wasn’t the one that started it. She wasn’t the one that initiated it. But SHE enabled Bianca and supported Bianca in attacking Heather with her Aspergers diesease. I’m sorry, but she’s every bit as bad as Bianca was for attacking her. If “Cover Girl” supports Saliehsa for attacking mentally-handicapped people, then “Cover Girl” sucks and should be boycotted. Rant over! Back to bitching about sports and other more “manly” things.

Yet, things are different this year with Real World Sydney. And that’s particularly dumbfounding because the girls as a group in this year’s show rank up there with the best of the best and are easily on par with the stellar hotties from Real World Vegas. The sad fact is that despite Shauvon’s mountainous mounds of mayhem and Kelly Anne’s combination of tight mid-section and bootylicous booty, the best reason to watch the show this year has been Issac.

He’s been the highlight of the show and has made it worth putting up with the mega-annoying Trisha and the not-quite-as-annoying, but still hard to stomach, Parisa. This is especially the case in the post-Shauvon era because at least with her around I was able to zone out, ignore what was coming out of everyone’s mouths, and just lose myself in her luscious melons.

Issac’s just entertaining as fuck to watch and he seems like someone that I personally could be friends with. The way he was able to come back; flat out say that Trisha was a bitch; say he was glad she’s gone; say that not just him but everyone hated her; and subsequently get the house to turn from having the atmosphere of some war torn street from the Middle East to one of the most popular frat house at some college was awe-inspiring. It was a resurrection of sorts not seen since Jesus.

With that out of the way, I’ll further cement my banishment from the Men’s Club by proclaiming that I’m all about Team Jenah! Not that there’s anything wrong with being a fan of a lovely young woman, but rather it just being a bit less-than-masculine using that “Team Blah” phrase. Regardless, I’m a fan of hers for the simple fact that she’s the one that I’d most want to bang the shit out of. I’m not just talking about normal boring sex, either, but jumping off the top rope Jimmy Superfly Snuka style sex where you yell “cowabunga” and are at risk of torn ACLs and a fractured vertebrae. Even with her overly big eyes, gummy smile, funky ears, and often raunchy hair, she’s the clear babe in the group with only the recently cut Heather in her league.