PS – The video below is allegedly of her sucking off a man with an insanely small and tiny hand moisturizer dispenser. Never have I seen one this small; although, I have only mine to compare it to. Anyway, I’m getting off-topic. The video isn’t safe for work or wives, so be warned.

One such women is 23 year old model Jesse Preston. She’s a bangin’ brunette of Puerto Rican descent that has taken it all off for Playboy several times and can now add Dave’s Babe of the Week to her already stellar resume. The only thing that she needs now for her life to be complete is to become one of the notches on my bed post, which comes with a complimentary wheelchair that she’ll need after I bang her so hard and so long that my balls get stuck inside her rectum.

The problem with this is that while the judges seem to let a few through to finals, the “voters” (going crazy with the quotes today) tend to weed out the hottest girls first — most likely out of jealousy considering it’s mostly fat housewives calling in.

The latest to make it through that will ultimately get cut soon is Tampa’s Janell Wheeler. A very pretty blonde-haired, brown-eyed beauty that squeaked into the Top 24 of this season. The only thing she really has going for her is that she’s slightly on the chubby side and the “pretty but chubby” chicks are the only ones that really have a shot to make it far on this show. The problem with her is that her vocals don’t seem all that impressive, but, of course, that won’t keep her from being my Babe of the Week.

Anyway, here are the photos I’m talking about. The girl looks much older than her age, so she’ll likely end up like her sister and be “over-the-hill” in her early 20s, but I kinda like her look. The black hair, the excessive make-up (which covers the billions of freckles), and the Dita Von Teese look kinda sorta works for her.

The issue just doesn’t mean as much to me anymore and I’m pretty sure the Internet’s to blame. That said, it still tends to feature some of the hotter babes on Planet Earth and one such beauty is Andy Roddick’s wifey, Brooklyn Decker. She’s a gorgeous blond with a great body, which is likely why she was SI’s 2010 cover girl, and is now a Babe of the Week.

I guess I’ve just been off my game, because normally this kind of shit doesn’t get by me. I’ve been listening to Hot N Cold, Waking Up In Vegas, I Kissed A Girl, and all of her other excellent catchy tunes all before knowing that I’d shove my junk in her so hard that I might get my inch and a half a full two inches inside of her. Okay, I’m exaggerating a little bit. The extra half inch is just foreskin so it doesn’t really count. Regardless, Katy Perry is a hot piece of ass and she’s my Babe of the Week.

The movie Chloe, on the other hand, does feature her fully unclothed, so that one will be on the must watch list for sure. For now, guess I’ll just have to check out the vidcaps from the movie that I’ve included in her Babe of the Week profile.

She smiled and said something like, “is it that obvious?”. While it WAS completely obvious, I said that it wasn’t and that I just assumed she was because most of the women I encounter in the building were snobby bitches and she seemed too pleasant to live here. She laughed and then we stood in the elevator doors of the 37th floor where she was getting off and talked some about her and her business there.

Turns out she’s a high-priced escort that gets a “$1,000 donation” for a mere hour of her time. She asked if I wanted her to come up after she was done with her client, but I passed saying that while I’m supportive of what she does I prefer to pray on drunk chicks that I can get for free but that if she’s bored she can always come up to my place and help me polish off the Svedka while she watches me play Mass Effect 2 on Xbox 360. She said she might take me up on it, we exchanged phone numbers, and I’m pretty sure she’ll never call me and I’ll never call her. Nevertheless, another random entertaining encounter on the Devonshire elevator.

While the show sucks, I must say that the actress that plays the female lead, Nina Dobrev, is one of the most adorably cute actresses I’ve seen in my life. Every time she was on screen, the little man would get excited and I couldn’t help but keep repeating out loud, “damn, she’s cute!” I haven’t had a similar reaction to a TV actress since I first started watching Kristin Kreuk on Smallville.

The immenseness of this girl’s cuteness has made her an obvious choice for my Babe of the Week and has me strongly considering adding The Vampire Diaries, as bad as it is, to my Tivo list. I guess I shouldn’t really debate it and just try it and see if I can stomach it. I had been recording Gossip Girl, 90210, and Melrose Place just for the eye candy but quickly removed them from my Season Pass manager once I realized that I just couldn’t stand watching them despite the plethora of hotness.

Blah, blah, blah, I’m sure you’re thinking and I get it. So, we’ll cut to the chase and get to the Babe of the Week. As I hinted to in my last post, it’s none other than Ayla Brown, the daughter of the newly elected Senator of Massachusetts, and the first Republican to hold the seat since well before the sperm and egg met that created me, Scott Brown.

It’s genius, yet I still feel that all of us are the ones benefiting the most from it so I have no qualms with posting ads supporting Armani for free. That said, if someone at Armani wanted to float some cash or free stuff my way, I’d gladly take it. Even better, I’d kill for the photos that surely exist from these shoots that Megan ain’t fully covered in. You know they exist and I want them.

One such bringer of wet dream fodder was season four’s Amanda Hanshaw. She didn’t last on the show that long, but it was enough of an appearance to get her recognized by me and lesser known entities such as Playboy, where she became a Cyber Girl of the Week and managed to do what seems like a few thousand pictorials. And while it may seem a long overdue, she has now been honored as my Babe of the Week.

Just sucks that she’s already in her mid-20s and could pass for mid-30s. She waited too long for this kind of stuff, in my opinion, and should’ve gone with the sexy cell phone pics to a boyfriend back when she was 18 or 19. Since that didn’t happen, guess the Muse photos below will suffice.

One of these slam-worth sluts is the lovely Ashley Greene, who was named my Babe of the Week back in November. She has quickly become one of my favorite young actresses thanks to the leaked cell phone pics that came out in ‘09 and now this new ad campaign with Sobe where she’s wearing nothing but body paint. All I know is that I’m a fan and have completely forgiven her for being a part of those two films. I’m sure after checking out these pics below, you’ll forgive her, too!

Despite my negative feelings towards her face, I can’t say enough about her great tits that she had no problem showing off multiple times on several episodes of Californication. I’m a fan of such things and I believe in supporting young (well, somewhat young) actresses that do this so making Eva my Babe of the Week seemed like a no-brainer.

She garnered my attention while I was watching the extremely stupid, yet humorous and entertaining, Year One a few days ago. Her appearance in the film spawned a few sexual fantasies of her being her character in the movie, me being a caveman, and me clubbing her and taking her back to my cave to do as I wished. Ah, wouldn’t it be great if things were that easy today. But, I digress, she’s a cute young actress and now a Babe of the Week.