While tripping on shrooms one day, I found myself watching some weird ass low budget Harry Potter movie that I had not seen before that actually turned out to be some Disney Channel TV series called The Wizards of Waverly Place. That’s when I first saw who many are billing as “the next Miley”, Selena Gomez. Not quite sure what it means to be the next Miley Cyrus, but I’m guessing she’s the next whore-in-waiting, which is good news cause she’s a cutie that will surely look great naked in 2-3 years.

Full Name: Selena Anne Gomez
Date of Birth: July 22, 1992
Place of Birth: New York, NY
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Ethnicity: Mexican
Height: 5′ 5″
Weight: ??? lbs
Measurements: ???
Occupation: Actress, Singer