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"Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

- President Bush

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Better than J-Lo.

The face and body of J-Lo --
Well, she doesn't have J-Lo's face or body (she's got her beat in both cases, in my opinion), but Natalie Martinez did land a gig as the worldwide spokesmodel for J-Lo's clothing line a little while back. She followed that up with appearances in countless men's and fashion magazines and now her greatest single achievement ever -- being named my Babe of the Week.

I guess it's going to be all downhill for her after this because it just doesn't get any better. Except, of course, if she decides to become the Mrs. Dave Z. However, she'll have to put her name on a very long waiting list if she's looking for that opportunity of a lifetime. But you never know...I might let her skip a few spots if she's willing to beg a little.

I bought a new car! --
Well, it's taken what seems like a decade or so, but I've finally pulled the trigger on a new car purchase. Okay, more like new used, but I think you know what I mean. The car I went with is a certified pre-owned Lexus IS300 with a 3-year, 100,000 mile warranty that was listed at over $26K, but was sold to me for just a tad more than $23K thanks to a friend of my bro with some connections.

I got to say that I love the car to death so far. But I guess just about anything would drive like a dream after dealing with that beat up '89 Accord every day. I no longer have to drive with the heater on high even though I'm burning alive just so the car won't overheat. I can actually close or open all my windows since none are off their tracks. I can listen to the radio since the antenna isn't broken. And I do the commute to work at 80MPH without having to have the engine revved in the red when going up the hills.

Not to mention that the car really glides along the road, handles like a glove and has enough pep to go all Michael Schumacher-like to help get past certain areas of traffic condition. I love it. Maybe I'll even rice it up some day...or maybe I won't. Anyway, here's a quick photo I took of it in the VC garage this afternoon. It was really overcast out and dark in the garage, so the picture didn't really come out well. The color is graphite gray pearl, by the way.

Free iPod / flat screen links of the day --
Going to be doing that link of the week thing. If you haven't gotten in on this free iPod or free flat screen TV thing, here's your chance to start. The first link is for the iPod promotion and the second is for the flat screen TV or monitor. Oh, and sorry, but don't email me about the free desktop PC thing. I don't plan on doing it and this thing already has gotten a little carried away.

[ http://www.freeiPods.com/default.aspx?referer=7530258 | http://www.FreeFlatScreens.com/default.aspx?referer=7394606 ]

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

X-Ray vision is mine! --
As I had mentioned in a previous "Dear Dave", I ordered a couple of IR filters -- the RM90 & RM100 -- for my Sony handycam to give it its very own superpower. Well, the X-Ray vision filters arrived in the mail yesterday and I'm all eager to put them to the test. Sadly, though, I haven't been able to do any field experiments to test the camera's newfound superhero abilities because it's been completely overcast both in the city and up in San Rafael where I work these past two days. Tsk, tsk.

Maybe I'll have some luck at the Love Parade this Saturday in downtown San Francisco. Pray for lots of sun and no clouds here in the Bay Area. Regardless, I'll keep you abreast of my findings. And if you're lucky, my findings will include a breast or two for your viewing pleasure. Ha, ha... Oh, boy I'm a funny man!

Still buying games --
I don't play them nearly as much as I used to back in the day (work has sort of burnt me out on gaming in many ways), but I still play new ones every once in a while. I just don't really pay more than $20 for them unless I just can't live without the game right that second. Luckily for me, Gungrave Overdose and Katamari Damacy for PlayStation 2 are both available new for under my magical budget gamer price point. So I picked them up and they're now games #94 and #95 in my PlayStation 2 collection.

The "U" --
Yesterday's DVD Tuesday saw me go out and pick up Walking Tall featuring the one-and-only Dwayne Johnson, formerly of the Miami Hurricanes football team. Oh, some of you might know the former defensive lineman as The Rock, the one-time professional wrestler for the WWE. Anyway, I just had to show love to a former 'Cane because that's what I do when I'm not showing love to the likes of Jessica Alba or whoever else is the hot girl of the moment for me.

Friday, September 24, 2004

Let's go for two! --
Wait a second. Two "Dear Dave" updates in a single week? There must be something wrong with me! I'm thinking I better get extra sloshed this weekend to try and kill whatever virus has infiltrated my system. In this second update for the week, you'll find topics covered like whether my goal weight really is attainable, a link to nude pictures of Mary Beth Decker, turning my newly-purchased handycam into a superhero by giving it x-ray vision, some news about Jessica Alba, the whereabouts of my iPod and my personal thoughts on Halo 2 and its accompanying hype. While short, it's actually quite thick with not-so-boring stuff to read.

On a related note, I was contacted by the lovely Leah Reich of "Ask Leah" fame who used to write for IGN for Men back in the day. She came across my site after googling her name, which brought up a link to an old "Dear Dave" letter where one of you asked about where a bunch of the old IGNers ended up, including herself. Well, she wanted pass along a "hello" to all of you that remember her and to let those interested know that she's doing fine and is currently working at getting a PhD at UC Irvine. Lovely.

I hope everyone has a great and safe weekend. If you're going to get drunk, like I plan to, please don't drink and drive! Hell, don't even drive even if you're not drunk. Just stay off the road entirely or my drunk ass self might run you over and we wouldn't want that happening. I'd lose my license and you'd probably be dead. I could probably live with the latter, but I need the license to get back and forth to work!

Free iPod / flat screen links of the day --
Going to be doing that link of the week thing. If you haven't gotten in on this free iPod or free flat screen TV thing, here's your chance to start. The first link is for the iPod promotion and the second is for the flat screen TV or monitor. Oh, and sorry, but don't email me about the free desktop PC thing. I don't plan on doing it and this thing already has gotten a little carried away.

[ http://www.freeiPods.com/default.aspx?referer=7530258 | http://www.FreeFlatScreens.com/default.aspx?referer=7394606 ]

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Two years of loss --
Today marks the official 2-year anniversay of when I got started on the Body-for-LIFE program that has seen me lose approximately 140 lbs. Back on September 23, 2002, I was hurtin' the scale at the ole GNC for the tune of 386.5 lbs. I was down to 284 lbs for my 1-year anniversay -- even though I was significantly less about eight months into it -- and today's rare mid-week weigh-in has me at a sleek 246.5.

While I've had plenty of rough times and my current weight isn't the lowest I've reached since starting on the diet, I'm really pleased with what I've been able to accomplish. My spirits are also helped greatly by the simple fact that the past two and a half weeks since getting back on the plan after taking the break have gone so smoothly. I pretty much have the same feeling I had back in the first eight months when I rarely, if ever, faltered and lost weight each and every single week.

If this holds up, I should be able to reach my goal of getting down to 200 lbs by the end of this year. And if that happens, I fully expect to celebrate my 3-year anniversary by making some homemade porn videos with the likes of Carmella DeCesare and Angelina Jolie. Don't laugh! I'm not even joking!

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

A mighty fine mornin' --
It's always a good morning when you can wake up to a new edition of "Dear Dave". Well, at least that's what I've been told by at least a couple of you. Some of the topics of discussion include a question about whether or not any fine babe has offered me sex if I reach my goal weight (the answer's "no", but I'd be more than willing to take any such offer!), the street racing subculture, why I own a MP5 submachine gun, Dave Z sex tapes, anger management issues and my updates, and a bunch of babe related stuff. Did I mention? I wanna get paid!

A geek or a weirdo --
Based on today's DVD purchases, I guess you could say that I'm a little, or even a lot, of both. Seeing that I picked up Star Wars Trilogy, it's safe to say that I have that geek thing going strong for me. And, well, the weirdo thing shines through with today's purchase of Mean Girls. But, seriously though, it's not like any of this is new, nor is it really that much of a secret. Everyone that reads this website on a semi-regular basis would know these two things about me already.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Sorry, I promise to use lube next time I put it in that hole.

30? No freaking way! --
I've been a pretty big fan of Paula Garces ever since I picked up Clockstoppers on DVD to check her fine Latina ass out. But it wasn't until after seeing her sexy self in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle where I decided to actually look her up on the 'net. It was then that I was shocked to learn that this stunning South American beauty was nearly as old as I am. I had thought she was in her early 20s, so finding out she was 30 just blew my mind. Anyway, she's my newest Babe of the Week and while her age might not blow your mind, her beauty will surely lead to you blowing a few loads.

Two strong weeks --
It's looking like the 3-week vacation I took from "dieting" has really worked as I had hoped because my two weeks back have been solid on both the diet and exercise fronts. I haven't had any problems during the week with straying from my diet and I've dropped nearly 16 lbs since getting me back on Body-for-LIFE, which puts me at 250.5 lbs and just a tad bit heavier than I was before I took the little break.

My level of motivation is high, the desire to cheat during the week is no longer there and I'm starting to feel really good about myself and what I'm doing again. It hadn't been like that in a long ass time and I'm really thinking the three weeks off really helped out a lot mentally. If I can get through this week unscathed, I'll start to feel really good about my goal of getting down to 200 lbs by the beginning of 2005. Let's go me.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

2 girls, 1 guy --
A threesome of two girls and a guy is always a good thing, especially when the two girls are really hot and the guy is, umm, me. It's something that all guys should experience as many times as possible. My only problem with them -- and maybe it's just me -- is that I tend to get that bewildered fat kid with a free run at a candy store feeling. Just don't know if you should just find your fave sweet and stick with it or take tiny samples of everything.

You only have one penis, two hands and one mouth and that's barely enough to handle all the goodies that one chick has to offer let alone two. But, hey, it's an uphill climb that's worth attempting even if you know you'll never quite reach the summit. Not everyone can handle it like a seasoned porn star and you honestly don't have to in order to get what you need out of it.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Another wish list item purchased --
I've crossed yet another item off of my big ticket wish list now that I've purchased a Sony DCR-PC350 MiniDV Handycam Camcorder. It retails for $1299 and would've raped my wallet for nearly $1400 had I picked it up at some store here in California with the sales tax. But thanks to the beautiful thing called the Internet -- it's not just for porn anymore -- I was able to get it for $1100 with shipping. All I had to do was put up with some high-pressure sales guy trying to dump all these extra peripherals and warranties onto me. I just kept saying, "no". Kind of like what the girls do to me until I slip them the roofie. Except since this was over the phone, the sales guy couldn't slip one into the vodka tonic I was sipping.

This begs the question, as David Smith asked when I told him I bought one, "what are you going to use it for?" You know what? I don't really know. I had planned on doing videos for the website, but I doubt that'll ever happen because of the bandwidth concerns. I guess I'll mainly be using it to fuck around with and to maybe even record some fuck sessions. Maybe there'll be a "Dave Z Sex Tape" hysteria in the near future. It'll be like the Pam and Paris ones except that instead of everyone trying to find out how to download it, they'll be trying to figure out how to get it removed from their computer -- because I'll unleash it like a virus!

I guess now that I have the video camera, the only big ticket items on my wish list are a brand new car, a widescreen HDTV, and a nice recliner for my bedroom. Still waiting on the right deal for the car and am stalling until the '05 G35s come out, but I'm expecting to have that taken care of before the end of November. I had been waiting for the Intel-based LCoS HDTVs to come out because of the whole 50" HDTV for $1,800 promise gave me an erection that 10 viagra pills couldn't match, but now that they're delayed until '05, I'm not sure what to do there. Waiting still might be the best option. And with the recliner, I might take care of that wish list item as early as this weekend. It's just a matter of hitting up some furniture stores in the city and finding one that fits my ass comfortably and my $600-$900 price range.

New Car (Lexus IS300 or Infiniti G35 Coupe) -- ~$25,000-$35,000
MP5-Navy Submachine Gun -- $15,000
Sony VAIO TR3 Laptop -- ~$2,500
50" LCoS HDTV -- ~$1,800
Sony DCR-PC350 MiniDV Handycam -- ~$1,300
DirecTV HD DVR w/TiVo -- $1,000 (obviously not until I get the HDTV)
Recliner -- ~$800
-----
Sony CyberShot DSC-T1 -- ~$500
Sony VAIO 512MB RAM Upgrade -- ~500
Sony RDR-GX7 DVD Recorder -- $400 (on the fence about wanting this now)
Applie iPod -- ~$300 (free, just a matter of waiting now...)
DirecTV DVR w/TiVo -- ~$250
Sony Ericsson T610 -- ~$200
Turbo Duo -- ~$200

In case you're wondering, I've taken off "New Desktop PC" from my wish list because I realized I don't really have the need or room for it. The laptop just suits me fine. Half-Life 2, as good as it surely will be, isn't worth the $1,500 that I was planning on spending building a new PC from scratch with all of the top-end parts. I still plan on playing it, but I'll probably just go out and buy the latest and greatest graphics card and see if Toole will let me install it in his desktop and I'll just play the game on it. Much wiser move considering it'll probably be the only PC game I play over the next 3-4 years.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Please stop covering up. Please.

Nip/Tuck/Suck/Fuck --
For my newest Babe of the Week, I've decided to go and give it to someone that I really haven't seen much of -- the lovely Kelly Carlson. I've never watched any of the movies or television shows that she's been in, but that will surely change now that I've seen some photos of her fine ass self. I'm a new fan.

Let him play, ban the fattie from baseball --
This whole thing with the player-fan confrontation in Oakland is the funniest shit I've seen a long time. Just the fact that the husband ducked the chair and let it hit his wife is fucking hilarious. In my opinion, the stupid ballplayer shouldn't get fined or suspended. Why? He didn't do nothing but bloody the nose of some fat ugly bitch. If it was some kid, a senior citizen or a hot babe, then suspend his ass. All he did was make the bitch less fugly.

QB of the Dolphins --
I've been thinking...why don't I just try out for QB of the Dolphins? I know I'm not ready to step in and take over the job right now, but by next year's training camp I should be about 185 lbs, running a 4.3 40, and benching 400+ again. And even right now, I can launch the football 80 yards from a standard dropback and without a running start. Even if I'm inaccurate, never learn the plays and end up playing like shit, it'd be a huge upgrade for the 'Phins. I should do it!

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Pay day tomorrow! --
Thanks to the costs of moving and buying tons of new things for the new pad, I've been hella broke for the past few weeks. It also doesn't help that the escorts charge you extra money beyond the $350/hour to do kinky things like licking your asshole clean immediately after taking a dump. Umm, yeah, so I get paid tomorrow and I'll be able to go out this weekend for the first time in nearly a month -- was broke and have been above my 250 lbs clubbing weight limit, so I've been staying in. Excited, eh? If not, I've also put together a quickie "Dear Dave" to help you get through the day. A new BotW should follow tomorrow...be patient!

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Club One Fitness --
Well, I went ahead and joined Club One Fitness @ FIllmore even though I got access to a mini-gym at work. I just figured it'd be a smart move on several different counts even though it's costing me about $59/month for it.

First, it's only a couple of blocks away so I can go there fairly easily even on days that I don't have to work. It was always a hassle to drive 35 minutes to work and 35 minutes back home just to do my 20 minute cardio workout on Saturdays and Sundays.

Second, there's the "paying" for it factor that will help motivate me to get in there more often. It'd be pretty stupid to not hit the gym as often as possible when you're locked into a year's worth of monthly payments.

Third, there's always added motivation to not quit a workout early when there are other people around, especially when some of them are hotties. Not to mention, the hotties are also very easy on the eyes.

Fourth, showering at work has never really been all that fun and neither has been the hassle of having to bring my chage of clothes to work every day. Now I can work out right when I get up at 5:30 AM in the morning, head back home, shower and get ready and go to work not having to lug any extra baggage.

I gotta say it's working out great so far. I had an unbelievable cardio workout today, got to see some fine ladies, and didn't have to head into the office to do so. Well worth the extra hit on my wallet, in my personal opinion.

Thursday, September 9, 2004

Where is the Love? --
Have a funny little story to share from my drive to work this morning. I was crossing the Golden Gate and driving in the fast lane when some dumb ass in a Lexus ES300 decided to cut me off and drive slower than me for no other reason than to piss me the fuck off. I did what I normally do in these situations -- tap the fuck face's back bumper with my front bumper to let him know I'm there and then take both hands off my wheel to give him a double finger while yelling a tirade profanities like "toothless cunt" at the top of my lungs so he can tell that I'm crazy and pissed off.

While this wasn't funny in and of itself, the fact that I noticed the Black Eyed Peas song "Where is the Love?" was playing on my radio while all this road rage was happening cracked me the fuck up. Oh, the irony. It just brought this big smile to my face and I was pretty much laughing the rest of the way to work. And all of this occurred BEFORE even taking my first lithium pill. This will undoubtedly be a great day because it's started out pretty damn amazing. I can't ask for anything more from the morning commute to work.

Monday, September 6, 2004

Foine.

Enough already! --
Okay, okay, I get it. You want...better yet...you need Amy Sue Cooper to be the Babe of the Week. Well, there you have it. Playboy's Cyber Girl of the Month for August 2004 is now my newest Babe of the Week. So stop emailing and go check out a snippet of her photos from both her Cyber Girl of the Month and Cyber Girl of the Week pictorials. Just don't get the spooge on your damn keyboard! That's fucking disgusting!

Almost done --
The move to the new place is taking its toll on me. I'm freakin' exhausted right now. The good news is that I'm pretty close to being done with it. All my stuff has been moved over except for cleaning supplies, a vacuum cleaner, my TV, my TiVo, and my clothes dresser. I'll probably bring the TiVo and TV over on Thursday night, the movers will take care of the dresser on Friday and the rest will come once we're done cleaning the old apartment this Saturday or Sunday.

Just gotta say that I love sleeping in this new penthouse apartment. First, my new Simmons Beauty Rest queen size bed is unbelievably comfortable (can't wait until I get the stain sheets...). And second, it's just so nice to be able to get up and go outside on your balcony while completely nude taking in the morning sun and air. That's not even taking into account just how fun it is to shoot jizz over the railing and see it fly downwards 15 floors.

Friday, September 3, 2004

My videogame goodies for sale! --
Whenever I move, I go through this shit where I finally realize that I'm just holding on to too many things that I'll never use. Well, I'm moving and since I've realized that I won't be needing everything that's been sitting unused in my closet over the past several years, I've went ahead and thrown a lot of stuff away, donated some of it to Goodwill and am looking to sell the rest on eBay.

The stuff I'm selling on eBay includes a few really great bags that I've collected over the years, as well as some Game Boy systems that I'm no longer ever going to use. Here's a list of all that's now up for auction:

Pokemon Center Game Boy Color system
Game Boy Pocket (Black)
Twisted Metal Black corduroy jacket (XXL)
Squaresoft shoulder bag
PlayStation shoulder bag
Sega Sports shoulder bag
Electronic Arts / dts shoulder bag
Sony PS2 shoulder bag
PlayStation carrying bag

As is always the case, bid away at your little heart's desire. If I can make $300 off of this stuff, I might be able to pay an escort for an hour and get that whole fucking on my balcony at the new penthouse apartment over with nice and quickly. Otherwise, I'll have to actually put some effort into getting some fine piece of ass over and convice her to let me do her while she's bent over the 15th floor raling. I'm cool either way, honestly.

Thursday, September 2, 2004

A road ruling beauty.

It's that Road Rules chick naked! --
I figured that since I had to remove the zips of the Real World and Road Rules chicks posing in their birthday suits in Playboy that I might as well go ahead and honor the most asked about one as my latest Babe of the Week. Her name is Veronica Portillo and considering that I've gotten more emails about her than anyone else over the course of the past year, there's no doubt that she'll make a very popular Babe of the Week.

Only time will tell if she'll be able to compete with the lovely Trishelle, as the top search string referral to my website. Let the games begin! To the winner goes the pleasure of getting to suck my dick, while the loser gets the honor of licking my sweaty balls and tonguing my dirty little poop chute. Now that I think about it, there aren't really any losers in this competition. Everyone comes out a winner.

Losing emails --
It seems to happen to me every once in a whle, but I've lost several dozen emails that I was planning to use to update the "Dear Dave" column. They're gone and lost forever, I guess. Oh, well, there's nothing I can do about it. But, you can by just emailing me back any questions or topics that you think are worthy of "Dear Dave". Just keep in mind that I'm making no promises on updating on a timely matter because this move is draining the hell out of me. Luckily, it should be all over in a couple of weeks. Hopefully I'll survive it.