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"I never had consensual sex without money involved."

- Carl, ATHF

Monday, October 24, 2005

Wanna be tied up?.

Blondes have more fun --
I'm not sure if that saying is really true or not but the stunning small-town beauty Kandyce Marie is most definitely a sweet piece that I sure as hell would have a lot of fun with if I was ever given a few days with. For one, I'm sure it'd be fun as fuck to have her do all my laundry, wash my car, vacuum and steam my carpet, and clean my bathroom to the point where it sparkled.

Oh my God, now that would be a fun ass weekend if you ask me! Of course, there would also be dozens of other chores that I would get her to do that are of a much more sexual nature that sure as hell would be a blast to do, as well. Since this weekend with her isn't going to happen, I'll just settle with giving her a feature as my Babe of the Week.

Going back to Orlando --
I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but I'll be heading back to Orlando to visit Brandon and a bunch of my Florida friends, including Bernadette, Nikayla, Elle, and Mindi. There will be some partying, lots of slutty Halloween outfits, a drink will be downed here and there, and there'll be some Halloween Horror Nights action at Universal on Sunday night. It should be fun, fun times and I can't wait! The only question is -- is Orlando ready for me again?

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Them dick sucking ghosts --
The only person that will truly appreciate this is Sam Bishop because we used to talk about "dick sucking ghosts" back when we were roommies at my old 2394 29th Ave address over in the Sunset district. The place was "haunted" or at least we thought it was because we'd always see human-like figures moving around in it and a lot of days we'd awaken to all of the cabinet doors in the kitchen open in the morning when they were closed at night. Of course, I always just thought it was Sam fucking with me and he thought it was me fucking with him, but it'd also happen when one of us was out of town on some videogame press event.

I guess it could've just been some balance thing and the constant rumbling caused by the MUNI train going by each night doing it as well, but since it didn't happen during the day we just pretended it was ghosts. But, anyway, we would always just about how we wish there would be hot "dick sucking ghosts" that would try to give you blow jobs at night and how cool that would be.

Well...I had a dream Saturday night (well, I think it was a dream) where I was laying in bed when a bunch of ghosts were just standing around my bed trying to scare me or some shit. For some reason the whole "dick sucking ghost" idea popped in my head and when one of the semi-attractive female ghosts jumped at me and opened her mouth while just screaming some "rawwrrr!!!" type shit, I just whipped out my dick, grabbed her head and just shoved my dick down her throat. I would let her up for air every now and then and she'd start trying to scare me again and I would just precede to jam my thumper down her throat again. I did this for a while and then we just fucked like crazy once she gave up the whole scaring me routine. It was pretty dope.

The weird thing was that I never quite "woke up" from this dream as it just transitioned from the dream to me being awake as if it was never a dream. The ghosts -- the one I was boning rotten and the ones just standing around watching -- just disappeared and I was there awake with a huge erection that I had to take care of manually.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Umm, fuck the NFL! --
Seriously, the NFL can go fuck itself with a spike-covered dildo that's been dipped in fucking acid. Why? Because those mentally retarded cunts think that it's okay to fuck me over by not letting me watch my Miami Dolphins game on NFL Sunday Ticket, which we paid more than $150 for, because they don't want it to interfere with high school football games or some dumb ass shit. I HAVE NO DESIRE TO WATCH HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOTS. I paid for NFL Sunday Ticket for the sole purpose of watching EVERY single Miami Dolphins game on TV. Honestly, what the fuck kind of shit are these morons smoking? Every single person who is responsible for a policy like this needs to just fucking DIE right now. And every single family member of these people also need to DIE immediately so future morons know the consequences of doing something so idiotic that pisses me off this much.

And, for everyone else that's not associated with the NFL's policy, well, I hope you all have a very safe and entertaining weekend. :)

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

I'd totally bone her.

I like me some Latin --
I think I've had her on my "to do" list for featuring as the Babe of the Week for several months, but have never gotten around to putting up this Irish, Mexican, Spanish, and French hottie until now. I guess it's better late than never for the stunning Mary Castro who's this week's reigning queen. Just look at those lovely breastsssisss to the right and you'll fully agree that this is one spank-worthy specimen.

It weirds me out --
It's kind of weird that a lot of people I know, work with or even are good friends with read my website to see what's up with me rather than just saying "hey, what's up?" I guess it might be my fault because I hate talking about myself with people, whereas I'll share intimate details about subjects such as my masturbation habits with anyone willing to load up my webpage like it's normal.

Regardless, it's kind of weird whenever I'm talking to a friend and he or she just brings up something that I wrote about on my website and I'm sitting there all shocked about how they actually knew that fact about me. I just always assume that I'm the only one reading this site.

Nip/Tuck --
It's probably the best show on television these days, surpassing even Lost, Desperate Housewives, House, and The O.C. The recent episode was particularly dope, although I'm starting to hate the Dr. Macnamara guy just because he's a lowsy friend from not believing Christian. Even if I saw with my own eyes a good friend butchering someone and then they told me the next day that it was not them that did it, I would believe them and assume it was just someone framing them. If the evidence was just some condom and bottle of shit, I definitely would assume my friends were not guilty until I had undeniable proof otherwise and they admitted to it. I'm a loyal bitch that way. And I hope my friends are the same way because once those bodies under my bed are discovered, there's gonna be a lot of explaining to do...

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Top 25 Most Played --
I thought it would be fun to share with all of you the "Top 25 Most Played" from my iPod so you can get a taste of what I listen to. Keep in mind that this basically starts from the time I first got the iPod, so it's not necessarily going to show what I've been listening to the most lately but rather over the course of the past year or however long I've had the damn thing.

As you can see with the top song having 650 more plays than song #2, I tend to do this thing where when I like a song I don't mind listening to it over and over and over again. I'm Not Okay was a song that I would keep on repeat while driving back and forth from work and, more recently, Helena has been getting similar treatment. I guess it's pretty safe to say that I'm quite infatuated with My Chemical Romance at the moment, with Jimmy Eat World and Coldplay also giving me some aural pleasuring.

You'll also notice a nice sampling of some '80s music with Bon Jovi leading the way, plus a good deal of hip hop love with Usher and Eminem getting a fair amount of play. I'm thinking of clearing the Play Counts on all these so I can make monthly updates for this to show you exactly what I've been listening to in the past month. We'll see if I stay on that or let it fall off like I tend to do.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

"Dear Dave" --
A lot of the emails are of the pointless variety, but it's what's being written to me so it's what I'm answering in my second "Dear Dave" update in the last seven days. I would say it's something to get excited about, but there was a point and time when this thing would get updated on almost a daily basis because I was getting just that many emails that were worth posting. It also harks back to the era where "Dear Dave" would battle Babe of the Week for what got the most visits per month. It's not even close these days thanks to the fact that I got hella lazy and just stopped updating it with anything interesting. I guess that's why explains why my readers aren't nearly as active these days and just tend to spank and run.

Monday, October 10, 2005

I kind of did her...

Another one for Bernsie --
Even though she has horrible taste in men, as she's got the hots for Brandon Justice, my fave babe from Boca, Bernadette, has a keen eye for women. First, she demanded that I put up Summer Altice and now she's making me feature the alluring Kelly Brook as my newest Babe of the Week. Hell, she's even the one that emailed me the nudes that you'll see in her pictorial so I wouldn't have to waste my time looking around for them! I love this girl!

A crazy night @ Ruby Skye --
Okay, so I had an extremely busy weekend as I had a lot of work to do and I mixed in a whole lot of mid-day drinking throughout. And because of this, I was planning on staying in Sunday night and skpping Armin van Buuren even though he's a pretty amazing DJ and I always have a great time when he plays.

However, at the last minute I decided to tag along with Toole and Michelle because it had been such a long time since I got to go out and get crazy with my insane party pals, Carlee and Maya.

I'm glad I did because the music was great for the most part (when he wasn't fucking up), the girls were, as always, a blast to be around, and I just had an amazing time and somehow managed to get numbers for all but one of the girls I tried talking to. It was definitely a night to remember and despite the fact that I'm dead tired today at work because I was out until 4AM and got up at 7AM to get ready for work, I'm glad I decided to go out.

Wednesday, October 5, 2005

"Dear Dave" --
These updates are so far apart that I figure I can just call them "Dear Dave" and not worry about coming up with a cool title for them that has something to do with the content within. If you must know what we talk about in today's "Dear Dave" update, it's all just a click away!

Tuesday, October 4, 2005

Hellooo nurse!

I love Brazilian women --
I'm starting to wonder why the hell haven't I visited Brazil yet. Seriously, though, screw Florida, southern California, New York, Hawaii, and all of Europe. The place I need to visit is Brazil. Not only has that country given me Adriana Lima, my current Babe of the Week, Gisele Bunchen, and thousands of other breathtaking beauties, but apparently the women there just love taking it up the ass!

The fact that I haven't already sold off everything I own just so I can move out there and try and make a living doing Internet porn is completely baffling to me. I don't know, maybe that's what I'll have to do once I tire of making videogames for a living. At the very least, I need to vacation there first to see if it really is all I'm making it out to be.

Booked my flight for Orlando --
As touched upon previously, I"ll be heading back to Florida at the end of this month for some Halloween fun. In addition to partying lots with some of my favorite girls in Florida, we'll be checking out Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios. I hear it's pretty dope, so I'm fairly excited about checking it out. At the very least, the weekend will be spent in the company of plenty of hot women in their most sluttiest of Halloween outfits. Ahhh, I'm starting to love this holiday.