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"Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

- President Bush

Friday, October 29, 2004

A dream date or my iPod track list? --
Wanted to talk about that iPod of mine again. Did the thing where I shuffled my songs and let them play while heading from work back to the city for an 11AM doctor's appointment and I had a hilarious set of songs play in a row. First of all, the artists were a unique mix -- No Doubt, Poison, Christina Aguilera, Def Leopard, Nivrana, and then some videogame music.

What was even better were the song themselves -- Hey, Baby!, Talk Dirty To Me, Come On Over, Pour Some Sugar On Me, Rape Me, followed by music from Daytona USA and then Dracula X (Castlevania). If you put them altogether, it forms a pretty interesting story. A girl gives me a yell, we do some dirty talk, she asks me to come over to her place and then proceed to have some rough and kinky little sex. And the videogame music signifies me playing games afterwards instead of doing bullshit like cuddling or talking. A night of sex and videogames. Throw in some liquor and a monkey and you have my dream date.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Why did I even wait? --
After two days of messing with this thing, I've been asking myself, "why didn't I get one of these things sooner?" While I'm sure glad I didn't pay anything for it, this little iPod would've been well worth its $299 retail price. It's probably one of the best gadgets I currently have in my possession. I've already dumped my entire CD collection onto it -- 1483 songs and 7.64 gigs worth -- and I still haven't even filled it to 50% of its capacity.

Combine the iPod with a tape adapter for my car and now I get to drive to work with my entire music collection at my disposal without the need to dig through all my CDs. I can be listening to Smells Like Teen Spirit one minute, ...Baby One More Time the next, with some Ferry Corsten to finish up the commute. The possibilities are endless and the only bad part is that I'm often having problems deciding what exactly I want to be listening to. God, I love this thing. It's even better than the hooker my dad bought for me on my 13th birthday. Mainly because the iPod probably won't give me the nasty rash or the crabs.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

The free iPod has arrived --
FedEx pulled a fast one on me. The computers were saying that it was scheduled for delivery on the 28th, but it arrived today instead. Hurrah for me! I started going after this thing many moons ago and had been stuck in the "waiting to ship" step for about two and a half months. However, the wait is over. The iPod is mine and I'm going to spend bits of pieces of the next few days ripping every CD I own and dumping it all onto it. Of course, I'll be doing this while cappin' some bitches in GTA San Andreas. The curse of the free iPod is over!

Congratulations, Red Sox! --
Even though it was a fairly boring World Series, especially after two of the most dramatic LCS's that I've ever watched, but I'm pretty stoked for the Red Sox and their long-suffering fans. I'm an Orioles fan, but I've always rooted for the Sox whenever the O's were out of contention because they're my dad's team (though, that doesn't stop me from hating the Pastryshits) and, well, I hate the Yankees. It was nice to see them come back from 3-0 to beat the Spanks and it was equally as pleasing to see them win the World Series for the first time since 1918, putting and end to an 86 year drought and an 84 year curse.

I guess curses come with expiration dates on them and in the Sox's case it was only to last 84 years. If 84 is the expiration date for all baseball curses, then I feel really sorry for fans of the Cubbies. Because if that's the case, then they'll have to wait until 2029 to reverse the Billy Goat Curse. And even then, their curse was just that there would never be another World Series game played in Wrigley Field, so ending that curse doesn't mean actually winning the series.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

GTA mutha fucka! --
I don't like paying more than $20 for videogames, but I make exceptions when the ones I really want to play immediately come out. One of those games happened to come out today for PlayStation 2 -- Grand Theft Auto San Andreas. The EB up at the Northgate Mall actually started selling it around 6PM last night, but I wasn't around so I just picked it up when the store opened this morning.

I was pretty shocked to find that there was a big line of people there waiting to buy the game. It was actually the first line I've ever had to wait in for a game's launch. I guess I either missed these kinds of things while working at IGN or they just didn't really happen all that much. The only lines I waited in previously had been for system launches, like the one for the PS2 at the Metreon back in the day.

Anyway, I've got the game and have played maybe four of five hours of it since getting home from work. I've only completed three missions because I've been spending most of my time just fucking around and doing things like fucking prostitutes and then killing them so I can get my money back. I've also been getting some kicks out of just running around in my tighty whities to help lose fat and build up my stamina and muscles. I've even wasted about 10 or so minutes just shooting hoops.

The best part about playing the game is the fact that I've completely ignored all previews about this game and everything in it is completely NEW to me. Outside of the name, I've come into this not knowing a single iota about the game's premise, backstory, the vehicles, the missions, the music or even the voice actors.

I don't know about you, but I'd much rather experience a game like this rather than after having read a few dozen previews and features about the game and after having viewed a few thousand screenshots or movies. I'm thinking it's a great game so far, but that's honestly not that big of a surprise. I loved GTA III and Vice City, so it makes sense that I'll enjoy the hell out of this one, as well. Now let me get back to fucking some shit up.

Oh, yeah, some DVDs, too --
San Andreas is taking my leisure time, but it wasn't the only thing that I spent some cash on today. My hard earned paper also went towards a couple of DVD Tuesday purchases in the form of The O.C. Season 1 and Dawn of the Dead. I'm a big fan of the former and don't feel guilty at all about it and I've been told by more than a few folks that the latter is worth checking out. I figured I would.

Where's my iPod? --
My free iPod is now in Oakland, California! Its trip to me started in Shanghai, China. From there, it headed off to Anchorage, Alaska and then to Indianapolis, Indiana, before heading to Los Angeles, California before arriving where it's at right now. It should be delivered to me up in San Rafael early morning on Thursday!

Monday, October 25, 2004

Porn is cool.

Nude barely legal blonde--
If I could get a dollar for every time those words are put into a search engine, I'm sure I'd be challenging Bill's spot as the richest man in the world. Anyway, those words pretty much describe the beautiful blonde porn goddess Tanya James, who I've just happened to name my newest Babe of the Week.

If you haven't heard of her, all you need to know is that she's tall, blonde, hot, young, naked, and loves to fuck. If she also does housework, cooks, and knows when to keep her trap shut, she might be the perfect woman.

Just another shitty team --
I cheered for them. I was glad to see they finally got a win, especially a fairly convincing 31-14 win over a fairly good St. Louis Rams team. However, I'm kind of pissed that the win just means that they're just another shitty team. They're no longer going to challenge the '76 Bucs as the worst team ever. They're no longer a lock for the #1 pick in next year's NFL draft. They're just one of several 1-win teams and they're a win or two away from taking themselves out of the top 10 of next year's draft. Oh, well, maybe next year.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Only four more days --
It's been nearly two full months since I got all my referrals, but my free 20 gig iPod has FINALLY shipped. It was picked up at 2:22 pm yesterday and left Shanghai, China at 3:14 pm with an expected delivery date to San Rafael, CA on Thursday, October 23rd before 10:30 am. That means I only have four more days to wait before I have my very own iPod to start throwing all my crappy music onto. Suhweet. I'll even through in a noice.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

A great workout, but... --
I had a phenomenal workout this morning. Did 30-minutes on the treadmill before doing another intense 30-minutes on the elliptical machine. Just sweated my ass off in hopes of making up for all the beer I drank last night. I usually stay away from beer and just do hard liquor because beer always makes me gain weight and the hard liquor doesn't, but was just in the mood for a few 40s since I couldn't find anyone to go clubbing with. Even with today's great workout, all the beer I drank might make for some weight gain at tomorrow's weigh-in. We'll have to wait and see... In the meantime, you can go and read a newly updated edition of "Dear Dave".

Monday, October 18, 2004

A Czech beauty.

Czech Mate! --
To help kick off what is promising to be a very good week, I've decided to honor the stunning Veronica Zemanova from the Czech Republic as my newest Babe of the Week. It's very good news for her and even better news for all of you that get to check her pictures out inside.

A mini-holiday --
I decided to use one of my many available vacation days to take today off just for the hell of it. Not doing anything in particular except for maybe finding some stripper to come over and give me a private lap dance, massage and happy ending for a few extra bucks.

Yeah, that would be a nice plan. I could do that or just do a little polishing of the porpoise and try to hit people walking below my balcony with my baby batter. That could be a whole lot of fun.

Anyway, for those of you out there that don't have plans today as fun as mine, you could always just read through the "Dear Dave" I've just thrown together. It surely isn't as fun as screwing a stripper or jizzing off the side of my balcony, but it sure is better than anything that's on TV during the day.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Oh, so very close --
Had a third straight "solid" week of dieting and exercise. It definitely wasn't a perfect week because I did have yet another "off" day in the early going, but recovered to lose three more pounds, bringing me down to an even 240.0 lbs. Unless I just completely fuck off and gain weight this week, I should easily get into the 230s for my next Sunday morning weigh-in. Likewise, there's a very good chance I'll be able to get down below my all-time adult low of 238 lbs.

Extreme Model Fest --
Lots and lots of hot models just wanting their pictures to be taken. But, uh, I don't have any pictures for you. At first, I wasn't even going to go. I had an intense Friday night of partying while at the Mezzanine checking out Ferry Corsten and had a massive hangover as a result. Still had a massive hangover at Noon and had some "company" coming over at 6PM, and I just wanted to sleep and save my energy until then.

Nevertheless, being the trooper that I am, I decided to .tough it out and head over to the GlasKat to check out the models. This is when the proverbial shit hit the fan. First, traffice was horrendous going through the city. What should've been a 5 to 10 minute drive took nearly 45. Second, when I got there, I realized I didn't have any cash ($20 to get in) and didn't bring any of my credit cards (had taken all of 'em out of my wallet before I went out Friday night). So, I turned back home and went to sleep in preperation for my date. Sorry, dudes, no babes for you.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Pulled over going 90 in a 55 --
I almost had myself a pretty fucked up day. On the drive in to work this morning, I was pulled over for going 90 MPH in a stretch on 101 where the speed limit was only 55. Luckily, the officer was kind enough to just let me off with a warning for the speeding and only ticketed me for not having a front license plate (just a fix-it ticket). I don't know if it was because I was very courteous and completely honest with all of my responses to his questions or if he was just being a nice guy. Regardless, I'm a bit of a happy camper right now. I consider myself pretty lucky because going more than 20 over the speed limit will net you a suspended license and would undoubtedly make my insurance go up way more than I would want it to.

Here's a transcript of what was said:

OFFICER: Can I see you your license, registration and proof of insurance?
DaveZ: I don't know. "Can" you?
OFFICER: Sorry, sir. May I please see your license, registration and proof of insurance?
DaveZ: Sure, why the fuck not.
OFFICER: Do you know why I pulled you over?
DaveZ: No fucking clue. Maybe you're pissed off at God for giving you such a small penis and are taking out your frustrations on me.
OFFICER: True, but you were also speeding. Do you know how fast you were going?
DaveZ: I was hovering at around 90, but would've easily gotten up to 120 if you're annoying ass didn't pull me over. You fucking cock blocker.
OFFICER: Why were you driving so fast, you in a hurry to get somewhere?
DaveZ: I just bought this damn Lexus, bitch. I'm trying to see what it can do.
OFFICER: Do you realize that going over 20 MPH more than the speed limit is an automatic suspension of your license?
DaveZ: Do you realize that I live in the city and only really drive to and from work so suspending my license doesn't do shit to me?
OFFICER: Okay, give me a second. I'll be right back.
DaveZ: Whatever. Like I care.

[60 seconds later]

OFFICER: Okay, I've decided to let you off with a warning for the speeding. But, I'm going to ticket you for not having a front license plate. Just promise me that you'll slow down a bit.
DaveZ: The only promise I'm making is that I won't fucking pull over the next time I see your bitch ass behind me. See ya!

[Peeled out in the dirt, kicking rocks and dirt all over the officer as he was heading back to his patrol car]

You see, kids? All you have to do is treat the officer with the respect he deserves and he'll often respond by not giving you a ticket or not arresting you. It's something I learned in the pen while serving time for my previous felony conviction. In my ignorant youth, I might have handled this situation much differently and would have undoubtedly ended up with the speeding ticket.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Import car model and hardcore porn star.

A pocket porn star --
At a mere 5' 0" and 95 lbs, you could probably slip Charmane Star into your pocket. Or at least fit her in a loose pair of sweat pants if you wanted to sneak her into an airplane or something. But don't let the small build fool you, this petite little thing knows how to fuck and can take a mighty pounding.

The reason I know this is because she's a hardcore porn star and I've seen more than just a few of her sex scenes. Anyway, she's fine. She's worth spanking it to. And now she's my newest Babe of the Week.

Hurricane David headed for Orlando --
As if Florida hasn't had enough of a pounding from all the hurricanes of late, it looks like it'll be getting hit by another big one in early November. I've decided to take a little Orlando vacation to pay a visit to my good friend, Mr. Brandon Justice. He's been hyping up the cheap alcohol, the hot women, and the allure of all the 18 and over clubs in the area. I figured I ought to see it all for myself first hand.

I'll be flying out there on Wednesday, November 3rd and will be heading back home on Monday, November 8th. That means there'll be heavy partying for me on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. And if the alcohol is as cheap at the clubs as he claims, I should be able to get thrice as wasted as I normally do -- even if that's possible. It should be fun times for all on hand. I just hope they'll let me check-in my circus donkey at the airport.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

A little fun at Ten15 --
Did the back-to-back nights of getting really drunk and listening to and dancing to trance DJs by going to Ten15 last night after doing the Mezzanine on Friday. While it was more packed at Ten15 than it was at the Mezzanine, I wasn't feeling the music as much and didn't do nearly enough "hopping" around. It was still fun and the crowd wasn't too bad, it's just that it wasn't anything special. The highlight of the night was probably the drunken phone call I got from Brandon and a couple of girls he was partying with before heading out. It was quite entertaining.

It's my kryptonite --
I'm starting to think that the 240-pound barrier is my kryptonite. After another good, but not stellar, week with the dieting and exercise, I managed to only drop a half pound on the old scale for the week, as I'm now at an even 243 lbs. I was really hoping to get down below 240 but it just didn't work out that way.

I guess it could be partly due to the fact that I started back on the weight training, which could have resulted in added muscle weight, after having been doing cardio-only every day for the previous three weeks. Or it could be something as silly as me jerking it a lot less frequently over the course of the past few nights. Either way, I'm cool with it because I feel good about how my week went on the whole.

If the lack of droppage was due to the former, then it just means I've added some muscle which should help with the fat loss in the long run. And if it's due to the latter reasoning, you know I won't have any problem with picking up the pace on that end this week. With Monday off because of the Columbus Day holiday, I might just do something silly like trying to top 36 times in a single day. What else is there to do during the day on Mondays?

Saturday, October 9, 2004

Where the magic happens --
I was able to cross out another item from my "wish list" this week after I purchased this agg black leather La-Z-Boy recliner. It's so comfy and it makes for the perfect way to play videogames or watch football in my bedroom. To commemorate this event, I've decided to take a few photos of the bedroom in my new apartment to show off all of my recent home furnishings purchases, including the recliner and red satin sheets for the queen size bed. Check out the photos on my Sony ImageStation page.

Mezzanine madness --
Had a GREAT time at the Mezzanine last night. Went there with Toole to check out this DJ named Darude, who's know for this track called "Sandstorm". The music was great, I got really, REALLY drunk, and did a lot of jumping around and dancing. Oh, and I apparently left Brandon a classic Dave Z drunken voice mail that he's decided to save and may be making into a wav file. If he does, I may share it with all of you.

Friday, October 8, 2004

I cry foul! --
Well, I was a little bored during the dead time between the end of the work day and the beginning of the party night, so I decided to check my Equifax Credit Score to see how it was doing these days. It had been going up about 10 points per month since I paid off all my debt back in early 2003 and it was up to 661/850 when I last checked it in Dec '03. Guess what it is now, after not missing a single payment on any account? It's down to 616/850.

My reaction was the typical, "what the fuck?". Well, it turns out that it went down because of a new collection on my account that was placed back in April '04. What the fuck could it be? It turns out to be some $64 debt I supposedly owe to this place called Showtime Video, which is a video rental place that I used to frequent on occasion back in Redding, CA. Yeah, that's right. The same Redding, CA that I haven't live in since October '99 just about five freaking years ago. And this supposed debt just went to collection in April of this year. I cry foul!

First, I have serious doubts about whether or not this debt is real. How often do these places fuck you over when you return something in the drop box and they say they never got it? All the damn time. And why in the hell would it take over four years for this damn thing to go to collection? I'm so pissed right now. I better get some action when I go clubbing tonight or I'll light the manager of the store a new one when I call him tomorrow afternoon.

It's Friday again! --
Hey, so it's the end of the work week again and I'm a happy camper because of it. Ever since I started hitting the clubs again, I've just been living for the weekends. It's like the only thing I have to look forward to in my week-to-week life. That, and doing things like updating "Dear Dave" for my peeps! Okay, so the latter is more of a chore than something I look forward to doing, but I've done it nevertheless so appease me by giving it a read.

Today's topics include a tip for dealing with my taxi cab situation with the two seemingly-interested girls, the movie Saved!, using ADD to lose weight quickly, the Love Parade and whether or not I'm into trance, details about my felony conviction and a few other things. So go ahead and read "Dear Dave" before heading out and having a great weekend!

Tuesday, October 5, 2004

Must-see TV.

It's all for the office ninja --
If you've been keeping tally over the course of the past few weeks, or years even, you might think that I have a liking for the Latin ladies. Well, you wouldn't be wrong at all in thinking that. There's just something about their curvaceous bods and perfect skin tone that just makes me all gooey in my boxer briefs. The latest lovely Latina to do me right is the stunning Eva Longoria, who's one of the fine female leads of the new television show Desperate Housewives.

She's a former soap opera actress, she's had recent spreads in both FHM and Maxim, and now she's my newest Babe of the Week. She's Spank Bank™ fodder that deserves to be a notch on my bedpost some day -- even though I don't even have one of those. Maybe when I marry her, one of you can buy us a headboard for a wedding gift. Then I could go ahead and put the notch in that.

Dee Vee Dee Tuesday --
Yeah, it's that time again. You know it. It's the time for me to spend money on DVDs simply because it's what I like to do on most Tuesdays. And for those of you that actually give a damn, the newest movies to make it into my DVD collection are Aladdin Special Edition, The Shawshank Redemption Special Edition, and Saved! -- the exclamation point is part of the title, by the way.

Picked up the first because it's one of Disney's better animated films. The second because it's one of my all-time favorite movies and I couldn't pass up a chance to get it with plastic keep case to replace the original version I have in its shitty cardboard snap case. And I got the third simply because I've heard plenty of good things about it. Okay, so nobody I know has seen it or said anything good or bad about it. I really just got it because it has Mandy Moore in it and I thought the trailers made it look fairly entertaining.

Sunday, October 3, 2004

Love Parade, sharing a cab with two babes, and the X-ray camera... --
I'm pretty tired thanks to a pretty intense Friday and Saturday of partying. I went to a club called Mighty to check out Marco V on Friday night. Then I slept for four hours before waking up bright and early to get in my morning run at the gym. I proceeded to follow that with some Love Parade action from Noon until about 8PM, before heading over to Kelly's Mission Rock to finish off the night with a quick power nap in between.

It was a long and exhausting day and a half, but it was well worth it. Both clubs and the Love Parade were pretty enjoyable experiences. The only thing I didn't like about the Love Parade is that all the naked chicks that I saw were fatties. I'm sorry, but not all nekkidness is good nekkidness. Seeing all the fat chicks naked, as well as a couple of nasty nekkid men, couldn't keep me from having a fun time, though. There were a lot of hotties in attendance to check out and chat it up with, everyone seemed to be having a lot of fun, and the alcohol worked its typical wonders on me.

The night ended on a bit of a downer that could've been golden if I knew how to work some magic. I had hit a wall at about 2AM, so I decided to leave by myself to go get a cab. I bumped into this hot blonde who had been waiting a while for a cab outside, so we decided to share one. Then when we finally were able to flag down a cabbie after about five minutes of waiting, this fine ass brunette ran up and asked if she could share the cab with us because she was tired of waiting around, as well.

So there I was in the middle of the back seat of the cab with a hot blonde to my left and hot brunette to the right. Things got even better inside the cab because both girls were kind of fighting for my attention. One would talk to me, and then the other would kind of tug at me and then get me to talk to her. But that's where the goodness ended. I just didn't know how to seal the deal with both of them with the other one there. I did my best to show interest in each, but I thought it'd be a bit weird to ask both of them for their numbers with the other there, and there's no way that I could've just chose one of them over the other. So, I basically struck out with both of them. No digits and a night of sleep all by myself. Sad Christmas.

Even now, after the fact from the perspective of a Monday Morning Quarterback, I still don't know how I should've handled the situation better. I almost wish that the second chick wouldn't have shown up because things would've went pretty damn good if it was just me and the blonde because we were already hitting it up while waiting for the cab. If any of you players out there know how I should've handled this potential dreamy situation, please drop me an email to give me your advice. I'd love to here what you'd have to share.

Oh, and for those interested in my first field test with the IR filters on my camera, they came back negative. My guess is that it'll only work with certain articles of clothing that are super-thin, because none of the shots I tried produced any results. I think I'll have to give the thing a try at a beach or something where the peeps will be wearing really thin clothing.

Two more down, many more to go --
It wasn't perfect like the previous two weeks had been, but I had a relatively solid week of dieting and exercise and dropped a respectable 2 lbs as a result. My Sunday morning weigh in saw me at 243.5 lbs, which is my lowest weight since May '04. With a really good week, I might be able to get down to the 230s for the first time since May '03. Wish me luck, because this will be a huge step forward for me after having a lot of ups and downs in the last 15 or 16 months.

Friday, October 1, 2004

Happy Friday! --
It's been slow as hell, but the week is finally coming to an end. Happy Friday everyone! This weekend should be a blast for me, as I'm looking to party hard tonight until at least 3AM. Follow it up with some Love Parade action from the time the 'Canes game against Georgia Tech ends until 9PM or so. Then finish off Saturday at the after-parties that are expected to be going on until 9AM on Sunday morning. It should be a fine weekend, indeed.

And to help kick off the weekend for you guys, I've decided to throw together a quickie "Dear Dave" complete with letters about my newly-purchased Lexus IS300, my illegally-owned MP5 submachine gun, those x-ray filters for my Sony camcorder, and the typical babe-related mess. I took the time to type it all up, so you should take the time to give it a read.