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"You look like this stripper I helped put through college." - Me to some girl at a club |
DJ Rap and Marco V @ Ten15 -- Anyway, the night was a huge success. I had a phenomenal time. I didn't black out (that was last week). I didn't drink myself to the point where I just sat down with my head between my legs all night (that was Saturday night). I just had a great time, did a lot of dancing and took a crazy amount of photos. In all, I came home with about 196 photos on my digital camera. I've gone ahead and posted 173 of them on my Yahoo! Photos page for you viewing pleasure (can't share the scandalous ones -- you don't want to see my dick in some girl's mouth anyway). I would've just posted them on my site like I normally do, but I'm not in the mood to re-size and make thumbnails for 173 pictures. Plus, the Yahoo! Photos thing offers unlimited space, so it's perfect for this kind of shit. And if you're wondering why I have on two different shirts in the pictures, the first few were actually from Saturday night's festivities (just love the Perry Ellis shirt I was sportin' the first evening). I didn't take too many pics that night because I was drunker than that school boy I molested after force feeding him a bottle of Jack Daniels last summer, so I just threw them in with Sunday's batch. Oh, by the way, the two main DJs kicked so many tasty flavors of ass. DJ Rap did a great job and the Beastie Boys shit she was playing in the beginning was off the hook. She's also pretty pleasant on the eyes. And Marco V...just mind blowing. His set was one of the best I've ever gotten to listen to live, even topping the Gabriel and Dresden ones that I liked so much. I was really impressed and can't wait until either of them come back to perform here. The Babe of the Week for this week will get posted tomorrow night or the night after. I'm pretty hung over, have a lot of work to do (don't get today off) and I'm sure waiting a day or two won't kill you. Plus, going through all of the party pictures should help kill a lot of time between now and then.
Porn makes everything better -- The plan is to tear up One8One on Saturday night and then Ten15 on Sunday night. I may head other places, but those two will be my main stops. And once again, the goal is to get drunk, relieve some stress and just have some fun dancing and hitting on hot chicks while I'm plastered. It should be a joyous weekend if I can stay out of jail.
A horrible day -- This "Dear Dave" is pretty small and is pretty much all about babes. There's one mention of the movie companies fucking its diehard fanbase over, but otherwise it's about things like Veronica Portillo, Katie Doyle, Carmella DeCesare, Diana Kauffman, Lisa Gleave, Rachel Sterling, Charmane Star, Mercedes Terrell, Ali Landry, Roseyln Sanchez, Nikki Cox, Diana Degarmo, and Lindsey Lohan. Basically, it's about a bunch of fine ass bitches. It's just what the doctor ordered to help turn my bad day around.
A bit about everything -- More specifically, we talk about whether or not I should shave my head, my thoughts on EA, Xbox Live, my game, blah, blah, yet another request for Veronica from Road Rules, a bunch of links to some amazing pictures of our favorite booth babe, Diana Kauffman, the whereabouts of David Smith, the mystery to Trishelle's appeal, hockey chicks showing some boobies, teen strippers, hot Brazilians, and a set of sexy pics of Danielle Gamba. It's a really decent update, so check it out.
Hot like a fox
-- A co-worker recently suggested I make her a Babe of the Week in the future and I've quickly obliged. I will be depositing her image into my Spank Bank™ and highly suggest you doing the same. She just turned 18 and she's dating a gay guy, so you know she's dying for some good hardcore fucking. I'm hoping that maybe I'll be able to help her out before it's too late (you know, when she turns 19 and starts getting old and nasty). At least, that's what'll be happening in my fantasies. Do what you must in your own. Bubba Ho-Tep
-- What I have purchased today is some movie called Bubba Ho-Tep. What is this movie and why have I purchased it? Well, the name alone gives it some points. Plus, I've heard so many good things about it from so many different people. It stars Bruce Campbell. It has Elvis and JFK alive in some retirement home where they have to battle some Egyption cowboy zombie or some shit. Seriously, how in the hell could I not buy this? I also went ahead and picked up Broken Lizard's Club Dread because I've been promised hot naked chicks to whack it to. You know me, I like the whacking. Anyway, these are movies number 340 and 341 in my DVD collection. Scarce updates
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The E3 Booth Babes! -- Well, it wasn't so much of a change of heart on my part but rather the fact that I was able to get Sam Bishop to do the dirty work for me. In the waning hours of the third and final day of the show, Bishop swooped in and took pictures of just about everything that I pointed to. His only rejection came from this slut working the Nintendo booth who didn't want her picture taken because of the cum dripping down her chin and inner thigh. True story. You know me, I never embellish on this site. So, there you have it. Since Sam went through all the trouble, you owe it to him to look at each and every one of the enclosed photos in the E3 2004: Booth Babes update. You also owe it to all of the models to not only masturbate to them after checking them out in the photos, but to also treat them kindly and with the respect they deserve in your sexual fantasies. That is, unless they specifically ask you to get rough with them. Then it's your duty to oblige. Tuesday @ 12:26 PM -- You'll never believe it!
--
Partying with the Real World
hotties -- The only downer about the party is that while Steve-O got naked on several different occasions, showing everyone in sight his wee wee, the ladies all kept their clothes on. And while I did get to screw the crap out of Trishelle after the party, I only managed a few pecks on the cheek from different babes while the party was going on. But thanks to my special technique of quickly rubbing the kissed spot and then masturbating, I'm chalking it up as a couple of blow jobs since their salivia did touch my penis in a roundabout kind of way. Yes, I am a dumb ass. There's no need to tell me this. 4 hours 45 mintues -- I took the bad boy over 120 miles per hour on several occasions thanks to some hills and did most of the venture on I-5 at an average of 100-110MPH. My only complaint about the drive on I-5 is that idiots need to learn that the left lane is for PASSING. Don't drive your bitch ass there at 85MPH if there are cars going the same general speed in the right lane or aren't even there. Only get in that lane to PASS, not to PACE motherfuckers. If I could get a Ben Franklin for every dick licker that I had to pass on the right side, I'd be swimming in a sea of hundreds right now. When I'm ruling the world, I will pass a law that will punish drivers that get passed frequently on their right side. It's just not acceptable in Dave Z's World. I decree it!
No babes allowed -- A sickly "Dear Dave"
-- It includes topics about things like getting laid at E3, downloading MP3s, hot pictures of Adriana Lima, hot pictures of Olga Lucia Tovar, comments about Rita G and Holly Valance, yet another request for the pictures of the Real World girls from Playboy (hint: Just go to the BotW page for Trishelle Canatella), and about 10 million emails regarding the fake naked picture of Britney Spears, including a set of photos of the girl in question that seemingly looks a lot like Brit from some angles.
A tremendously boring, yet
extremely fun E3 -- Don't get me wrong. I still love to play videogames and can see myself playing well into my retirement years. It's a part of my life and I hope to keep it that way. What I don't like is playing these incomplete and buggy games in an overly crowded and noisy convention hall with people constantly looking over your shoulders and often stuffing a camera in your face to film you. It's just not as fun and exciting as it once was. I'd much rather wait until the game actually comes out and play it at my own leisure and experience it as something completely new and fresh. It's the same reason why I never read any videogame websites or magazines anymore. I'd rather play Metal Gear Solid 3, Halo 2, Half-Life 2 or Final Fantasy XII knowing absolutely nothing at all about them beforehand. I haven't kept up on information released on these games and plan to keep it that way. I'm sure that once I do get to play them, my experience will be all the more enjoyable because of this. As a result of my disinterest in playing incomplete games before their release, I spent the majority of the show just walking around, looking at games instead of playing them, and talking to old friends and aquaintances. Over the course of the three days, I only went hands-on with about a half-dozen games and I'm fine with that. The only saving grace for the videogames part of the show for me was the new hardware -- I'm extremely excited about the Sony PSP and am highly intrigued by the potential for innovative software for the Nintendo DS. I guess this all bodes well for next year's show because there's a good chance that both the PS3 and Xbox 2 will be making appearances and that surely would capture my interest much more than a sequel to a game I've already played on a platform that I already own. Whereas the gaming portion of the show bored the hell out of me, E3 is something I'd never pass up because it's always a pleasant social experience. It's the only time of the year I get to bump into and talk to all of the people I've met over the years in the gaming industry and it's always good to chat with old friends, especially now that I'm a developer and don't get to deal with the PR folk anymore and don't get to see my editor friends on the various press junkets at are thrown throughout the course of the year. Plus, the parties, replete with open bars and lots of hotties, are always something that I look forward to with open arms. Anyway, I took a few photos over the course of the show that I plan to share with you all over the course of the next few days. It includes me with a bunch of chicks from the Real World at our ESPN Videogames party, as well as the always-popular E3 Booth Babe report. It's worth noting that the booth babe thing almost didn't happen because I just didn't feel like taking any babe pictures this year. Luckily for you, I was able to enlist my man Sam Bishop to do some photographing in the last few hours of the show to save the day. For those hoping for another giveaway this year, I didn't pick up any E3 goodies this year so I don't have anything to give away. The only thing I brought home from the show was the bag given away at the Sony party that I plan to keep and a Sly Cooper demo that I'm planning to play. Sly was actually one of the few games that I actually played at the show and it was the one that I probably spent the most time with. The only others were Kill Zone (PS2), Metroid (DS), Bomberman (DS), Burnout 3 (PS2), EA's football and hockey (kind of had to for work), and a couple of Xbox games that I can't name at the moment.
Britney Sprears' beautiful naked body? --
Let the parties begin!
--
An Aussie Angel
-- Baby steps -- Anyway, I'm now down to an even 240.0 lbs. A full two pounds heavier than my all-time adult low, but the exact same weight I went into E3 last year. The good news, as I had mentioned previously, is that while my weight is the same as it was last year, my waist is a full two inches smaller and my penis is 1/4" longer and 1/2" thicker. I've also increased my 40 time from a 4.36 to a blistering 4.19. Lighter. Longer. Thicker. Faster.
Charisma, Carmella, and a whole lot of cumming
--
Ice cream and some farts -- I went out with Toole to listen to some chick DJ, who only gave an average performance, and worst of all I was feeling a bit gassy and bloated. Unlike the last time where I felt sick and I let it ruin my night, I handled it all better this time around by just burping and farting like a madman whenever the gas would begin to cause me any discomfort. My night was pretty much me dancing off beat in a place for a while, ripping a big ole fart and then moving on to the other side of the dance floor. It was quite entertaining. As fun as the fart and hides were, the highlight of my night had to be when some dumb ass decided to hit on Rheanna, Ten15's super hot blonde female bartender, by asking her if she wanted to go eat some ice cream. He, obviously, got shot down and I just couldn't keep myself from busting out laughing right there in front of both of them. It has to be both really great and really annoying to be hot like Rheanna when you bartend. On one hand, you're getting hit on by every single guy that goes up there to buy some liquor and that has to be annoying, yet on the other hand you're probably making mad money in tips from the guys hoping to get into your pants by dropping some big ass tip. That's why I've been avoiding using her and just get my drinks from the dude that works alongside her. Not only does it allow me to leave her alone, but it tends to be quicker since there's always a bigger line of guys that are waiting soley for her. Even though it was a rather boring night on the whole and I couldn't find any hot chicks to hit on, it sure beat staying home and jerking to porn. My only regret is that I somehow dropped $80 on drinks even though I don't remember drinking all that much and I was only tipping $2 per round. Oh, well, at least tonight I'll be downing free liquor at the party of Justice and will be doing industry parties with free drinks all next week at E3. All is good in the world, it appears.
A little Mandy and some Cruise --
Them lips, my
cock -- A new Xbox game
-- A little milestone --
Paul Van Dyk @ Ten15 -- I didn't get there until after 1:30AM, so they had already stopped selling liquor, so it was just me, bottles of water, good music and a half-billion people. The place was shoulder-to-shoulder packed in a bad way. Usually I'm all up for a few non-intential breast and ass rubs against my harnds, arms, crouch or whatever, but this was ridiculous. What made things worse is that the talent that night was fairly week. Either that or the talent I'm used to seeing at clubs is just beer-goggle inspired. Regardless, I wasn't too impressed with the ladies on the whole. The lone highlight was probably this one cutie asking if I could help her walk because she had fucked up her knee and was hobbling around. I had to help her across the dance floor and then carried her down the stairs. I'm such a nice guy. Anyway, the next time I go somewhere after the alcohol is no longer being sold, I'm going to have to remember to do some chugging before heading out. I was pretty bored on the whole, despite the fact that the music was entertaining. The only good news is that I only spent a grand total of $2 the entire night, as I just used my free drink tickets for the water and only tipped singles a couple of times because that's all I had in my wallet.
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