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"Fuck this game!"

- Dane Cook

Saturday, June 28, 2003

Triple Points! --
It's one of those triple points weekends at Suncoast, so I broke down and picked up another foursome of DVD movies, bringing my collection up to 198 titles. My only regret about all this is that I should have waited a few days on those two movies I picked up on DVD Tuesday because I could've gotten triple points for those purchases if I had. Oh, well, I'll keep that in mind the next time one of these comes around. Anyway, the movies I picked up last night were The Big Lebowski (Sam had it, so I never bothered to pick it up in the past), Die Another Day, Harry Potter And The Chamber of Secrets, and The Recruit.

Friday, June 27, 2003

I could have some fun with this!

No longer clueless --
She's cute, spunky, and I hear she's a wild woman in the sack. The new Babe of the Week is none other than Miss Brittany Murphy. And even though she's probably been anally violated by both Eminem and Ashton Kutcher, I won't hold it against her. I'd love to tap that ass all night long. It'd sure as hell beat playing the same game over and over and over again...

Stop calling me! --
I'm sure it's really some way for The Man to keep tabs on you, but the National "Do Not Call" Registry has been opened to the public. Of course, there's already more than 500,000 folks out there that have registered and countless others, like myself, who are trying to register but can't because the site is being swamped with people hoping it'll help get their phones to start ringing a little less after October 1, 2003.

I hope it works because now that I don't owe anyone anymore money, the only annoying calls that are coming my way are from people trying to sell me shit. Hopefully this can put an end to the majority of those bad boys. I guess we won't know until October how well all this shit really works.

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

It's DVD Tuesday! --
Now that I'm completely debt free and have already begun stashing extra money away for big budget things like cars, computers and a financial safety cushion, DVD Tuesday is once again a very noteowrthy day in my life. So, what did I purchase today? Well, I got Cowboy Bebop The Movie and Punch-Drunk Love. With Bebop, I had already seen it on the big screen and figured it was a must-have in my DVD collection since it's easily my favorite anime series around. As for Punch-Drunk, I'm not really sure why I picked it up. I don't really know much about it except that I've heard that it's not your ordinary Adam Sandler flick and that it's surprisingly good. Figure I'll find out when I get around to watching it. Oh, yeah, also picked up Michelle Branch's new CD titled Hotel Paper.

Monday, June 23, 2003

Quick "Dear Dave" update --
Busy. Busy. Busy. Nevetheless, I've gone ahead and put together a quick and dirty update to the "Dear Dave" mail section for your reading pleasure. I should have a babe update at some point this week, but don't expect much more beyond that. It'll probably be like this until we finish up this little game of ours.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

Got penile problems? She can help you get it UP!

The Woman In Me Dreams --
After seeing both her and Faith Hill while flipping past TNN, how could a horny young male not become a country music fanatic? This week's hottie and new Babe of the Week, Shania Twain, is one of the reasons that I went through a big country music phase for a couple of years after graduating high school in the early to mid-'90s. I'm not really a diehard country fan these days and she's now approaching 40 years old, but I want to give her some serious anal loving as much right now as I ever did in the past.

Hitting some pot holes --
Not the ones on the road, but ones that are screwing with my weight loss goals. On both Tuesday and Wednesday night last week, I binged like the bad old days and I was lucky to get back down to my previous week's weight on Sunday. Then this past Monday night, I broke down and joined in the midnight eating with a bunch of co-workers that were also working throughout the night and into the wee hours of the morning.

The combination of the long hours and the 7-day work weeks is really taking a toll on both my mental health and weight loss plans it seems. I'm also guessing that since I'm no longer in such a dangerous position with my health that I've just become a bit slack with the whole thing. That's going to change, though. I've decided to read through the Body-for-LIFE book again to help me re-focus on my task at hand. I've definitely come a long way with this whole thing and am proud of my progress, but I still have a ways to go before I'll consider myself to the point where I can't attack this with 100% of my effort. Wish me luck.

Saturday, June 14, 2003

A few new DVDs & "Dear Dave" --
I picked up a few new DVDs that I had been wanting to buy -- Old School and Tuxedo. The former just seems damn stupid in a funny sort of way and the latter has Jennifer Love Hewitt in it. I'm a sucker for movies with hot chicks in them, even if they don't get nude. I think that puts me at 191 DVDs for the time being. In addition to buying the two movies and putting in another 10-hour work day on Saturday, I've also found time to update the "Dear Dave" section on my lunch break. You can love me for it if you must, but I'd prefer that you not.

Friday, June 13, 2003

Low ass interest rates --
I went ahead and opened up a basic savings account today so I can actually start putting money for the first time in decades. My plan is to automatically have a certain amount of money transferred from my checking to my savings each an every month, so I won't even have to think about it. I'm looking foward to using it for both a financial safety cushion and an enventual down payment on a car that I plan to buy around January or February 2004. Just to give you an idea as to when I last had a savings account, my interest rate on it was 8.65% when I initially opened it and Ronald Reagan was our prez. My current one is something like 0.5% and our president is the son of Ronnie's VP.

Thursday, June 12, 2003

200,000 miles and going --
Well, a couple of days ago I took my '89 Honda Accord past the 200,000 mile plateau. Sadly, it was on the middle of the Golden Gate bridge on the way to work and I was trapped in between a trio of slow-moving SUVs, so I couldn't take the picture at a speed fast enough to not have the numbers partially covered up. Anyway, here's the big moment frozen in time:

Can't wait for the movie --
I had to leave work early this evening because I had a doctor's appointment and subsquently I had enough extra time on my hands to finish up reading The Return of the King. It's a great book and I enjoyed it much more than I did when I was but a child. The only shitty thing about it is that it's making the wait for the movie even harder to take because I can't wait to see it all go down on the big screen.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

A good read --
Loving it to death. That's my feelings towards what I've read so far of The Return of the King. I decided to read it again to help ease the wait until the film is released, but it's actually having the opposite effect because it's making me want to see the next Lord of the Rings movie now even more than ever befoe. There's going to be a lot of cool shit in that flick. My only gripe is that I don't get enough shit breaks during the day.

Oh, and on a completely unrelated note...I've updated the "Dear Dave" section. You won't find J.R.R. Tolkien-quality work within, but it's the same basic crap that has managed to keep some of you at least midly entertained over the course of the past few months or so.

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

I can read! --
Since I finished Circle of the Moon this weekend and don't want to start Aria of Sorrow until after I beat Harmony of Dissonance -- which I don't own yet -- I've decided to turn to the fine art of "reading" to keep me busy during my daily shit breaks. What book have I chosen to read? Well, I've opted to go with The Return of the King, the third volume of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings novel (it's not technically a trilogy, btw).

Normally this wouldn't be a big deal but this will be the first work of fiction I've picked up since 1998 when I read completely through Stephen King's The Green Mile and partially through Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six and all the way through Clancy's Red Storm Rising. The only other books I've read since have been non-fiction works like David Sheff's Game Over: Press Start To Continue (highly suggested reading for ALL fans of videogames) and Bill Phillips' Body-for-LIFE (highly suggested reading for ALL those looking to lose some weight). Outside of that, it's all been magazines and websites for me and nothing more.

Oh, and by the way, this isn't my first time reading The Return of the King. I actually read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings back when I was a youngin' and reading was a much more common thing for me to do. Back then I actually preferred The Hobbit to The Lord of the Rings because I had grown attached to Bilbo and was pretty pissed that he wasn't a big part of the new stuff.

Monday, June 9, 2003

Another lovely Latin lady.

Thalia is her name --
I was once asked what I would do once I've "run out" of babes to put up as the Babe of the Week on my website. I don't think we'll ever have to find out because there seems to be an endless supply of hotties that I already know about or are just being introduced to. One that fits into the latter is this week's babe, Thalia. She's a huge star in several countries outside of the US, but it wasn't until I saw her picture recently before she became known to me. If looks matter, her international fame will be equaled here in the United States. Anyway, check her out; I'm sure you'll get wood if you're not dysfunctional down there.

Strange dreams --
I somehow got a full eight hours of sleep last night and subsquently had my first dream in what seems like ages. Some of the details are a bit fuzzy, but I'll go ahead and share the gist of it with you guys because I found it pretty funny.

Well, the thing started out with me just chillin' in the hours before I was about to head off to spend a life sentence in prison (don't recall why I was going to prison, but I was). It kind of started off while I was waiting in line to get into some fancy club when a friend (not someone I know in real life) started talking about the whole thing with how I had like six hours left before I had to head off to prison. A trio of gorgeous girls overheard this and got all interested and started fliting with me and began asking me questions about it.

All was going well with the ladies until I started making jokes aboug getting the possibility of getting gang raped or being forced to toss some guy named Bubba's salad. The ladies apparently were grossed out about this because they just quickly walked away. I was kicking myself for bringing that shit up and noted to myself that I should hold back on the self-depricating humor around the women-folk (good advice to myself in both the dream and in real life). Anyway, finally got inside and remember having a pretty good time, though I don't think getting laid that night was part of the dream.

From there, I pretty much just warped to some point during my prison sentence because I was standing around in some really dark and grimy place with a bunch of other convicts. A group of guys were given these cards and were told to start passing them. I was guessing it was something bad because whoever got the card started yelling and screaming things like, "fuck this! I'm not doing it".

As some guys started walking in my direction, I asked the old dude that was next to me and has his hand on my ass what this was all about. He just said, "don't worry, you're with me. You won't have to do it." Just as he said that, one of the guys with the cards walked up to me and handed me one. The guy with his hand on my ass told him that I was exempt, so the guy took the card back and started walking away. But then the warden came in and demanded that he give me the card because he personally wanted me in the "match". Reluctantly, the guy handed me the card and my "protector" couldn't do anything about it.

Later that night I found out that this card meant that I had to enter this caged ring and fight the "beast". This "beast" was some big, crazed muscular guy that wore some mask with spikes on it and kind of looked like that one dude from Spawn. I was set to be the final guy out of 12 to fight him, so I was hoping that someone else would take him out so I wouldn't have to get into the ring. I wasn't so lucky. All 11 guys before me got their asses kicked and none of them managed to live through their battles. The "beast" tore off limbs, snapped necks and basically just destroyed all these people.

Even though I was scared out of my mind, I walked into the ring because I really had no choice. They would've killed me if I didn't, so I figured I should at least die fighting if I had to. The match started out pretty horribly and I was getting the shit beat out of me. I was bloody and bruised from head-to-toe. I was about to give up as I was down on all fours with blood dripping from my mouth as he walked up behind me and started motioning to the crowd, which was chanting "Kill him! Kill him!", that he was preparing to snap my kneck.

Then out of nowhere I got this big boost of adrenaliine and I quickly turned around and hit him with a massive right hook to the jaw that knocked him back against the cage. I started pummelling him like a madman and even though I was sure he was knocked out already, I wouldn't stop. After what seemed like an eternity, I stopped punching, grabbed him and lifted the large beast of a man above my head and started walking around the ring with him while staring at the crowd. Then after a couple of laps around the ring I stopped in the center and slammed him down across my knee and literally snapped his body in two.

The crowd went completely silent and everyone, including the wardon, looked at me with fear in their eyes. I walked out of the ring and the crowd parted kind of like that Moses thing in the bible. I had become the king of the prison and everybody was my bitch. After that, all I remember was seeing these other convicts running outside in some tall yellow weeds when these huge lions jumped out and ate both of them whole. That's pretty much the last thing that I remember and I have no clue what it was all about or what it had to do with the rest of my dream. Though, I'm pretty sure I would've ended up killing the lions with my bare hands if it came down to it because I'm a badass like that.

Sunday, June 8, 2003

BFL Cycle #3 ends, Cycle #4 begins --
I've just completed my third full cycle of the Body-for-LIFE program that has helped me lose a grand total of 148.5 lbs since I started way back on September 23, 2002. In this latest 12-week cycle, I dropped a modest 28 lbs bringing me down to my current weight of 238.0 lbs. It probably could've been better if not for the week off I took for E3 that saw me put back on 12 lbs, but I can't complain about all the progress I've made in this cycle or the two before it.

My body fat percentage is now down to 25%, which puts my lean body mass at approximately 178.5 lbs and my body fat weight at about 59.5 lbs. What this means is that during my BFL cycle #3, I've actually added about 8.5 lbs of muscle mass while losing in the area of 36.5 lbs of fat. Considering that during the first two cycles I only managed to maintain and/or lose muscle mass in addition to losing the fat, I'd consider this recent cycle to be a huge success.

My goal for my next 12-week BFL cycle is to drop another 24 lbs, which would put me at right around 214. I figure it'll be a difficult 24 lbs because I'm getting so damn close to my ultimate goal of getting below 200, but I think I can do it. It's just a matter of continuing to eat properly and working out every day. I've done it pretty consistently since September, so there's no reason that I can't keep on doing it for the foreseeable future.

Friday, June 6, 2003

My 189th DVD --
I got paid for some stuff I put up on eBay earlier in the week, so I now have enough money to pay for gas and food up until my next paycheck plus a little extra to get crazy with. I opted to live on the edge by buying a new DVD for my collection -- The Animatrix. It's my 189th DVD and I'm thinking I'll watch it at some point tonight or later this weekend. Kind of pissed that it comes in those shitty cardboard cases, but so did the first Matrix movie, so I expected it. Anyway, my only plans outside of working another 15-20 hours this weekend will be to either just chill at home in my boxer briefs, check out 2 Fast 2 Furious or the IMAX version of Matrix: Reloaded, or a little of all of the above. I might even beat Circle of the Moon since I'm at the final boss, but I might just hold off on that until next week.

Thursday, June 5, 2003

The five finger discount --
Even though I stated in this morning's "Dear Dave" update that I wouldn't be picking up Metallica's St. Anger until my next paycheck on the 13th, I now have it in my music CD collection with all of their other major U.S. releases. I visited Target at lunch because I needed a break from the office after being stuck in my chair from 8AM to 4:30PM and after over-hearing that their sensors at the front door were broken, I decided to save $9 and throw the CD into my jacket pocket and walk right out the door. Okay, maybe it didn't happen like that. I do have the new CD, though. It seems pretty good so far and the thing's a steal at less than $10 with a music CD and bonus DVD. I guess they're giving you a reason to buy it instead of just downloading the MP3s.

Answering life's toughest questions --
I guess I never really have to do that here. It's just the usual stuff that gets sent my way, including the things that everyone should already know that I'm not really allowed to talk about (NFL 2K4, the kiddie porn ring, and my male goat fetish). Alas, here's a new "Dear Dave" where I have answered all the questions that I'm allowed to answer and nothing more. At least pull blocking will be drastically improved, so don't bitch. Whatever the fuck that means, I don't know. I'm just trying to make this paragraph a little bigger.

Wednesday, June 4, 2003

Happy Anniversary Bizzy & Myra! --
I just wanted to take a moment to wish Bizzy and his girl a joyous first year anniversary. I wish you both the best! Anyway, here's a message to Bizzy from his lady:

Bebesh,

Wow! June 4th, our first year anniversary. We made it! 1 year since we met on a internet local chat room, since we first kissed and since we fell in love. I'm so happy to have you as my boyfriend, as that super mega special part of my life. I'm just so lucky to be your girlfriend, and blessed for you to still loving me after all this time. Thanks for being in the difficult times with this little Mexican jumpin' bean, geez also for singing in Spanish when you really hate it. You know? I will appreciate your support for all my life. I am never going to forget the wonderful man you are, even if I get married with another man I will tell my children about you, of the special boyfriend I once had when I was young. You amaze me so much, not only because you decided to give me your heart but... Because you're my boyfriend, my lover, the "cool guy" I always dreamed of, the person that understands and knows me best, the magical guy who makes my tears dissapear with just a single kiss, a guy who actually has his sweet tender feelings (awww), the guy who makes me feel so free and powerful; and most of all... You're not only all those persons in one, but you are my true best friend. Happy 1 year anni!!! I love you hunny, hope we'll be together for a very long time, and I really mean long, long, long time*. Muah!!!

Thanks for loving me so much,

-Myra A. Picache Aka Cosmic Girl

Tuesday, June 3, 2003

Don't even look at her! She's all mine!

All-around gorgeous --
Not only is this chick damn fine, but Claire Forlani has one of the sexiest accents that you'll ever hear. Those are just two of the reasons that she's now my latest Babe of the Week. Plus, she falls in the category of babe that I'd actually marry if I had the chance -- rather than simply fuck on the side for fun. Alas, she has yet to respond to any of my marriage proposals, so it doesn't look like it's going to happen. Maybe I'll just have to settle for the casual sex.

The simple things --
Just wanted to share a fairly meaningless experience with all of you from my recent weekend. I decided to walk the 12 blocks / 0.8 miles from my home to Safeway Saturday night instead of driving it. This doesn't seem like a big deal, but it had always been one for me. The 0.8 miles really isn't all that much, but the fact that it's up a pretty steady incline the entire way used to kill me. In fact, whenever Bishop would even suggest we walk it instead of taking the train, I'd look at him like he had just asked if he could dry fuck me up the ass while reaching around and jerking me off with sandpaper.

I hated the walk and it was hell on my body. Well, "was" seems to be the key word in this equation because it's now completely cake. Even while walking it at a very quick Sam Bishop-esque pace, the trek to Safeway barely got me to break a light sweat and was almost effortless. No heavy breathing, no gasping for breath, and no sore muscles or sore feet. It was so easy that it blows me away that it was ever even an issue.

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