Tuesday, July 30, 2002

"Dear Dave" unleashed! -- 
Just when I thought my days of writing titles with "unleashed", "revealed", and "explosion" in them, I bust one out. It doesn't really mean anything, like usual, as this is just another basic update to "Dear Dave". You still ought to read it, though. Otherwise, you won't get these constant updates anymore. 

Even more DVDs --
I picked up a couple of new DVDs at lunch including Resident Evil and Made. I'm sure you know about RE already, so I won't explain why I picked it up (believe it or not, I actually liked it). Made, however, is something you might not have heard of previously. It's a criminal comedy featuring the guys from Swingers, which is one of my favorite films of all time.

Rhapsody, Children of Bodem, & Opeth fans... --
Several of you have suggested that I check out music from these groups, so I decided to search Amazon.com to see what they had to offer. Way too many different CDs out there...so what I'm asking for is some specific suggestions as to the specific album titles and song names that I should go after. In other words, if I only buy one Rhapsody CD or listen to one song at that CD, which should it be? Email me...   

Monday, July 29, 2002

Hubba hubba.

Baywatch Babe of the Week --
Her credits include Baywatch, Shallow Hal and a new television game show on NBC called Dog Eat Dog, but Brooke Burns' biggest honor wasn't bestowed upon her until today, as she's been named my Babe of the Week. I'm willing to bet that once she finds out she'll leave her husband, try to find me and beg me to marry her. I'll make her settle for some sex.  

151 DVDs Owned --
I didn't have enough cash to pay the $3 toll for the Golden Gate bridge coming back from work, so I had to make a quick last minute exit and head in search for an ATM. In my quest, I dropped by Best Buy and bought a lot of crap that I shouldn't, including five DVDs.

The new movies that have been added to my DVD Collection include: Heartbreakers (probably sucks, but has Jennifer Love Hewitt), Snow White: The Fairest of them All (umm, Kristin Kreuk), Haunted (uh, Kate Beckinsale), Girls Gone Wild College Girls Exposed Vol. 1 & 2 (no explanation needed), and John Q. (Wesley Snipes is delicious. Oops, I meant to say Denzel, not Wesley). 

My CD Collection -- 
I thought I had already put up the list, but I guess not. Anyway, better late than never. While at Best Buy, I broke down and bought some new CDs, including that Avril Lavigne CD that I had been talking about picking up. Also purchased Be Not Nobody by Vanessa Carlton (she's cute, I'm a dork), Posion's Greatest Hits 1986-1996 (CC Deville is cute), and the new Eminem CD. 

I would have picked up CDs of the stuff you guys have been recommending, but I couldn't remember any of the names. I even tried to see if one of the PCs at Best Buy was connected online so I could access my page, but had no luck. Maybe next time. 

RANT of the Day --
What the hell is up with all the shit you have to remove to open a damn DVD movie nowadays? I got home at 7PM, but wasn't able to start watching John Q until almost 8PM because it took me forever to unwrap all five of the DVDs. The shrink wrap is excusable because it protects the outer casing, but the security seal is nothing more than a pain in the ass. 

What's more, the DVDs don't come with just one of those security labels anymore -- they come with at least three. Opening up one of these DVDs takes more effort than wiping my fat ass clean, and I have a big, hairy ass crack. At least with my butt, I can usually get it clean with two, maybe three, good wipes. Whereas with these DVDs, I have to rip off the plastic wrap, then tear off three separate security labels that are usually stuck onto the case worse than the poop nuggets on my ass hair. All I gotta say is, "boo!"

Sunday, July 28, 2002

It's all about "Dear Dave" --
Today's topics include things like NFL 2K3, making out with Natalie Portman, Avril Lavigne, and the answers to the world's most difficult questions. Okay, so I might not have the answers to the world's most difficult questions, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't check out today's update to "Dear Dave".

Ultimate BLT, my ass! --
It seems that commercials do work, because I went to Arby's after seeing the commercial for the Ultimate BLT for the thousandth time this afternoon. But not only do commercials work, but they also LIE. That Ultimate BLT sandwich isn't nearly as good as it was made out to be! If you want a BLT, just go buy some bacon, lettuce, tomatoes and bread, and do it yourself. It'll taste much better than this crap I bought from Arby's. 

X-Tina? WTF?!?
I just read somewhere that Christina Aguilera might be going under the official name of "X-Tina" for her new album that's due for release this fall. All I gotta say is WHAT THE FUCK? I figure that about 99.9% of you could care less about what she calls herself, but this honestly pisses me off. 

If this gal really wants to have a successful sophomore release, she better higher ME to be her manager. Every time she brings up a stupid idea, like "hey, I wanna be called X-Tina!", I'll slap her around a bit and spooge in her eye. Eventually she'd stop coming up with stupid ideas. 

Saturday, July 27, 2002

Videogames control my life --
All right, I think I might just have to leave the videogame world soon. I keep finding myself referring to real life things in videogame terms. Just about every time I cross the Golden Gate bridge in the morning on the way to work, I look at the fog and wonder if it's volumetric or not. And if the fog is particularly thick, I'll often think that I've entered into a Nintendo 64 game. And just last week, I saw some ugly chick waiting at the bus stop and commented out lout to myself -- "she has a shitty face texture". 

All this just isn't healthy. If I had a shotgun, I'd be biting on it right now and would be tempted to pull the trigger. Although, I'm sure that right before I pulled the trigger I'd realize that there are no "Continues" in real life and that if I pulled the trigger, it really would be "Game Over" for me. We don't need that just yet. 

Things are getting complicated --
Well, they're not really. I just hit writer's block a lot and don't know what to type sometimes. I don't have anything cool to update with, so I figured I just share with all of you some of my recent interests. I'm currently watching some show called "I Bet You Will" because this Willa Ford chick is kinda hot. She makes me wanna be bad. 

Similarly, I've been sort of hooked on this song called "Complicated" by this somewhat cute Canadian skater-punk chick named Avril Lavigne. I don't know why, but I just can't get the song out of my head. I'm tempted to pick up the CD, but am scared that it will be one of the many CDs in my collection that only have 1 good song on it. If any of you have any opinions on this, let me know.  

Crossroads --
Before I forget, I've added the Britney Spears movie, Crossroads, to my ever-growing DVD collection. The movie isn't all that good, but it did cement my belief that Britney looks much better when she's playing "sweet and innocent" than when she's trying hard to be sexy. I wish these girls would realize that sometimes more is less and less is more. 

The other thing that the movie did for me is create some doubts about Britney having breast implants. I had been certain that she had implants, but I'm not sure anymore after seeing the movie. There were several scenes in the movie where she was wearing just a bra and panties or a two-piece swimsuit and in those her breasts looked kind of smallish. 

Either Britney has implants that she can add or remove when she wants to or she doesn't really have implants and does a good job of making what she has look 2-3 times as big when she wants them to look large. Push-up bra technology must be frighteningly good right now. 

Thursday, July 25, 2002

Happy Thursday! --
That new Eddie Murphy movie looks terrible. But that's not what this update is about, the trailer just so happened to come on just as I began typing away. Anyway, one of those Ecstasy commercials is on now, but that isn't what this update is about either. This update is about an all-new "Dear Dave" with more of your emails and more of my responses. 

Wednesday, July 24, 2002

Shake Your Bon Bon.

Almost forgot about the Babe of the Week --
Even though I almost forgot to update this week with a new Babe of the Week, please don't take that to mean that this fine honey is easily forgotten. If anything, Alley Baggett would be considered completely unforgettable. In fact, her beautiful self has been ingrained in my mind ever since I first saw her in an issue of Playboys Book of Lingerie about 5-7 years ago. Soon, she'll be a part of your everyday thoughts, as well. 

Britney vs. Christina --
It looks like Brit's ex, Justin Timberlake (one of the gay guys on *NSync), might be dating her arch enemy, Christina Aguilera. If true, this would be especially hurtful to Britney, who is now reportedly dating some other gay guy from a boy band, because it's my belief that she wanted Aguilera all to herself. 

I say we force both couples to break up and have Justin get together with that Marc fellow that Britney is now said to be dating, and then have Britney and Christina finally fulfill their destiny -- hooking up with each other. Hell, they could have their first full lesbian love making session shown live on Pay Per View. It could be one of the highest grossing events of all time. Oh, and since it was all my idea, I should get a chance to join in on the festivities after they've heated each other up a little.

Sunday, July 21, 2002

Cribs: The Dave Z Edition --
A few of you have suggested that I take picture of my place to let everyone know where a guy like me lives. I did, and you can see the pictures in the Photo Gallery. Or if you're lazy and don't want to click two links, you can just click on this one -- Cribs: The Dave Z Edition. You think you know, but you have no idea. Sorry, that's for Diary, not Cribs. I keep getting my MTV shows all mixed up. Been watching too much Zoog Disney.

Saturday, July 20, 2002

The Real Slim Shady --
I've been trying to think of something cool to update the site with these past few days and have been coming up blank. Maybe all the long hours at VC and IGN before it have taken its toll on my brain cells. That or all the chronic and alcohol I consume on a daily basis. 

Since I couldn't come up with anything worthwhile, I decided to go ahead and change my hair color once again. This time, I dyed it beach blonde -- it had been orange, yellow, or something called "sandstorm". Now it's sort of white and is really freaky looking.

It's not all bad, though. Recently when I would look in the mirror I would only marvel in just how fat I've become. It would depress the hell out of me. Now that I've been changing my hair color, I'm too busy being freaked out when I look in the mirror, so I don't quite notice weight gain much anymore. It's all really just a matter of perception. 

Thursday, July 18, 2002

Thong, thong, thong, thong --
You like it when the ladies where the thongs? Me too. Here's some nice scan from a tabloid that has some pictures of some celebrities in thongs, including everyone's favorite young whore, Britney Spears. 

Another Session of "Dear Dave" --
I figured that waiting a month to respond to emails wasn't nearly quick enough, so I've decided to do a special mid-week update to "Dear Dave". It's actually a decent enough update and not at all sucky like Sunday's update was. 

Cleanly Shaved --
A few of you misunderstood me when I said that I shaved after seeing those pictures of myself with my new hair color. I just shaved my facial hair and not my head (or pubes -- those have already been waxed). I still have the wacky looking hair. 

I personally don't like how it looks, but I keep getting compliments about it and it works really well in bars as it's an easy conversation starter. I think I'm going to go beach blonde next and then be really Frisco and change it to pink or blue. 

Wednesday, July 17, 2002

Soccer Babe: Man or Woman? --
The internet has been abuzz of late with reports that the Korean Soccer Babe was actually a man before becoming a woman. According to these reports, the nameless girl was none other than a girl named Harisu who was famous in Korea for having had sex change.  

These reports have turned out to be completely false (if you masturbated to her, you shouldn't feel dirty). The Soccer Babe is actually a girl named Shin Mina (click here for more info). Here's a picture of Harisu (man/woman) on the left and a picture of the Soccer Babe on the right. I hope this clears things up.

The 145th DVD --
My DVD collection has grown to 145 thanks to today's purchase of Better Off Dead. This purchase shouldn't be much of a surprise because I said I was going to do it last night. For those that haven't seen or just don't remember this classic, all I have to say is I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!

Tuesday, July 16, 2002

She so wants me. You can see it in her eyes.

Damn Fine Babe of the Week --
At one time in my life I had no feelings at all for Alicia Keys either as a beautiful woman or a talented musician. All that changed at PlayStation 2 party that Sony threw in Hollywood last year. 

I was floored by her performance and when I bumped into her afterwards during the party, I was left in awe of her beauty. While she looks good on TV and in pictures, neither format really does her all that much justice. Ms. Keys is a Babe of the Week through and through. 

FHM UK Edition --
I just subscribed to the UK edition of FHM Magazine, which is the best of the "guy" magazines in my humble (humble means correct, right?) opinion. The reason that this is noteworthy is that it cost me approximately $105 for a mere 12-month sub. Am I crazy or just really smart? 

Better Off Dead? --
Normally I just let you guys know what DVDs I've picked up after I buy them, but I'll go ahead and give you all a heads up on this one. I plan on picking up Better Off Dead tomorrow. This is a MUST-OWN movie and an all-time classic. I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!

Monday, July 15, 2002

Golden Boy, Dave Z --
Last Wednesday when I was at Walgreen's picking up some insulin, I decided to purchase some Maxim Magazine™ Hair Color -- Sandstorm. Why? I have no freaking clue. Here's how I look now (well, after seeing these photos, I decided to shave, so this is really how I looked a couple of days ago).

Just so you know, the reason I look extra Asian or "high" in these photos is that I got some of the hair color crap in my eyes. Not so fun. I think I'm going to go platinum blonde in a week or so. I personally think I look stupid, but it's a good conversation piece and it makes me stand out more at bars (as if being 350 lbs isn't enough to stand out in a pack...). 

"Dear Dave" answers all --
A lot of emails get responded to, but the responses aren't really all that good. This update to "Dear Dave" is more about quantity than quality. It'll get better in the future, I promise. It'll also probably be worse, as well. 

Really funny shit (MUST READ) --
A special thanks goes out to Jeremy Conrad for pointing me to this funny article. It's most likely fake, but this is one of the most hilarious things I've ready in a very long time. If you want a laugh, just click on this link and read the newspaper clipping. It's honestly one of the more humorous things you'll likely read today.

Reign of Fire --
It's worth mentioning that no farts were released during the watching of this movie last night. I was able to hold mine off until after we left the theater and there was no mysterious smelly old lady who just had to sit next to me. 

The movie? It was pretty decent. I feared that it might suck hard, but that wasn't the case. It's not going to be winning any best picture awards, but it was definitely en enjoyable action flick. It could've used some nudity, though. That's my only complaint.

New DVDs --
I've added a few new movies to my DVD collection since my last update. The new DVDs include Orange Counter, Shallow Hal, The Others, and A Walk To Remember. My collection is now up to 144 DVDs. Odd since I never have anything to watch...

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

Meet the new Mrs. Zdyrko.

Meet Josie, the new Babe of the Week --
She's been featured in countless fashion magazines, several Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues, and has even appeared in a Backstreet Boys video. Yet, somehow, up until about two months ago, this fantastically fine brunette has managed to stay off of my babedar and out of my Spank Bank™. 

That's a problem no more as Josie Maran is now a Babe of the Week.  Whether you've known her from the beginning or are new to the wonders of Miss Josie, please feel free to pleasure yourself in anyway you see fit as you check her Babe of the Week photos.

Coming Soon --
I figured I'd give yous guys a heads up on what you can expect in the coming week on this stupid site (stupid = hella cool). First, there'll obviously be some updates to the "Dear Dave" section as the emails are beginning to pile up a bit. I'm also planning on putting up some photographs of my apartment in a special Cribs: Dave Z Edition and will post some new pictures of the new, but definitely not improved, Dave Z. Excited? Didn't think so. I'll also post more babe pictures. Feel better now?

Monday, July 1, 2002

You don't know her name? Like that even matters.

A Soccer Babe of the Week --
Brazil may have just won the World Cup for an unprecedented 5th time, but that wasn't the biggest news to come out of the little soccer tourney that took place on the other side of the planet.

That honor belongs to my new Babe of the Week -- a fine ass honey that I only know as the "Korean Soccer Babe".  She simply stole the show at the World Cup and is a good reason to start following the sport the rest of the world calls fütball. 

Minority Report, a stink-free movie --
I went to the Metreon last night to check out Minority Report and proudly report that it was the first movie I've been to this year that was completely stink-free. I didn't rip a single fart and I didn't have the bad luck of sitting next to some old lady who came back extra smelly after a mid-movie shit-break. 

Oh, yeah, the movie was pretty good, too. It gets a thumbs-up from me. If you haven't done so already, you should check it out. And don't worry, just because you go see a Tom Cruise movie doesn't mean your gay. It's all the anal sex that you've had with other guys that has blown your cover. 

© 2002 by Dave Zdyrko. All Rights Reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyrights reserved herein, no part of this web site may be reproduced in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission of the authors. ™ and © for all products, characters, and indicia related thereto which are contained herein are owned by the companies who market or license those products. If you have any comments or questions, please e-mail the Webmaster.