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"You make women climax with a single raised eyebrow."

- Sam Bishop

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The orgasmic workouts continue --
I'm really liking how this week is going so far. My cardio workout the morning was intense and I'm all hyped on adrenaline again and I'm hoping it'll be just like yesterday where it pretty much stayed this way throughout the entire work day. I'm telling you, it's a whole lot better than being hungover and not getting any energy during the day at all.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Amazing workout --
I had such and amazing and intense workout this morning that I'm still all pumped up now and it's been over three hours since I finished it. It was one of those workouts that left me feeling like I just had the most amazing sex ever. The weekend wasn't good for me but I don't even care because I've decided that I just can't let the me screwing up get me down and just start treating each day anew and just worrying about what's ahead of me instead of what's in the past. I owe a special thanks to my good friend Fabulous Jenn for listening to me last night and saying the right things to put my life back on track.

Things you may not know about me --
If you've followed my writings since back in the Sega Saturn and Eidolon days and throughout my time at Working Designs and IGN then you may know some of these things as I've eluded to them many times, but for the newbies I decided to share some random useless info about me that you may not know or, well, even care to know. It's my site, though, so I'm sharing.

1) I'm a convicted felon
2) I lost my virginity in my 20s
3) I don't know the name of the girl I lost it to and I barely recall it happening
4) I didn't have sex during the entire Clinton presidency
5) I have NEVER had sex without a condom
6) I have NEVER had anal sex with a human male or female
7) I've only had what I could call "great sex" twice
8) I've only had completely sober sex twice
9) I didn't come two of the last five times I've had sex
10) I've had two threesomes (2 girls + me) in my life
11) I didn't start drinking heavily until my mid 20s
12) I would let Jessica Alba shit on my chest if she promised to let me bone her after

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Tanith is hot --
I'm thinking that Tanith Belbin might be my favorite Olympian of all-time, she's definitely the one that turns me on the most. For those that aren't familiar with her, she's the female half of Team USA's silver medal-winning Ice Dancing team, Agosto and Belbin, and she's about as pretty as a girl can be. I guess Ice Dancing will now be my favorite Winter Olympics sport, along with Snowboard Cross, until she stops performing in it. Yes, she's just that gorgeous. I think I may have found myself my Babe of the Month for March.

Iguodala was robbed --
In the same way that Web wrongfully was given the slam dunk championship 20 years ago, they once again wrongfully awarded the title of slam dunk champion to a short dude that really got out-dunked. Sure, I was VERY impressed with Nate's dunks and I thought he made a much more convincing case that Webb did back in the day, but Iguodala should be the slam dunk champion right now -- his dunk from behind the backboard is probably the most impressive dunk that I have ever seen in my life. I know it wasn't in the final round, but if that's a 50 there's no way that another 50 should've been given to the dunk where Nate jumped over the 5'7" Webb. Great, a short dude dunking over another short dude...wouldn't it have been more impressive had he dunked over a non-midget?

Speaking of which, what's the deal with Nate and Webb actually "looking" like midgets. In the non-NBA world they're not really that tremendously short. Nate is only three inches shorter than me and Webb is only five inches shorter. But even when standing alone, they "look" like midgets -- I'm talking about their facial features and bone structures. It's just something that's always weirded me out, I guess.

A good week --
I ended up having a good week and got my weight back down to 285.0 lbs. I'm not going to get excited until I start getting back into the 250s and lowers, though. Fuck all this near 300 lbs shit, it's so gross.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Weight loss gain update --
You may or may not have noticed, but I've been relatively quiet about my progress of late despite the excitement I had about the VC's Biggest Loser contest a little over a month ago. The reason has been because after three weeks of doing well, I just completely got off the horse and landed in a steaming pile of crap that I've been stuck in for two weeks.

If you check my BFL Progress chart, you'll see that my last two weigh-ins have been in the 290s and it's a weight that I've consistently been around on a daily basis. I just hate it and hate myself for letting everything fall apart. One of the reasons for the collapse was that I got really sick two weeks ago and it made it impossible to get in the gym to workout because I had no energy and I couldn't really breath. Even when I got over the cold and back in the gym, I wasn't able to continue doing it consistently -- although, today's workout was the 3rd straight this week.

What's more, I've been broke -- like really broke -- all month and it's sadly sometimes cheaper to buy unhealthy foods than it is to buy healthy ones. I've been going through cycles where I don't eat all day at work because I have no money, then go home and go through all my change to find that I just have $2 for food. Not much I can get for that, so I'd just get a couple of 99 cent double cheeseburgers.

It's been awful and I hate myself for allowing it to happen and I just hate seeing myself in the mirror these days. I'm starting to really get sick and tired of the trying and failing, because it's gone on for the past three years since I first went from 386 lbs all the way down to 238 lbs. It was so easy those first 9 months and I just can't understand why it's so difficult now. .

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

DaveZdyrko.com now "work-friendly" --
I spent much of last night and this morning removing all of the Playboy copyrighted images plus all of the other nudes that could be found in previous Babe of the Week updates, so this site is once again "work-friendly". However, it's definitely not kid-friendly so don't let your kids read my bloggings or else they may end up as sick and twisted as me. Love it or hate it, this is just going to be the way it is from now on -- less babes, no nudity, and more of my daily ramblings. The jerk-and-run types out there might as well just delete the bookmark or just check the site around the first of each month.

San Fran's crazy weather --
I've been living here for more than six years and I still can't get over how much the weather can change from day to day. I swear it'll be cold and wintery one day and then the next so nice and warm outside that the environmental Nazi's start crying global warming again. They shuttup for a little the next day when it's all cold, gloomy and raining again. I love the city but I honestly don't care much for the weather. I really would love to move down south to either Los Angeles or way south and east to south Florida. By the way, what's the weather like in Brazil?

Monday, February 13, 2006

iPod's Top 25 Most Played --
If you're interested in seeing what I like to listen to, here's a look at my iPod's Top 25 Most Played for the past four months. I'm thinking I need to download myself some new MP3s because none of this stuff is even new.

1. Smile Like You Mean It / The Killers / Hot Fuss / 104
2. Dirty Little Secret / The All-American Rejects / Move Along / 103
3. Pieces Of Me / Ashlee Simpson / Autobiography / 101
4. Mr. Brightside / The Killers / Hot Fuss / 88
5. Somebody Told Me / The Killers / Hot Fuss / 76
6. A Rush Of Blood To The Head / Coldplay / A Rush Of Blood To The Head / 71
7. Fix You / Coldplay / X&Y / 63
8. Take Me Out / Franz Ferdinand / Franz Ferdinand / 59
9. All These Things That I've Done / The Killers / Hot Fuss / 59
10. Helena / My Chemical Romance / Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge / 58
11. Sweet Child O' Mine / Guns N' Roses / Appetite For Destruction / 53
12. Miserable / Lit / A Place In the Sun / 50
13. I'm Not Okay (I Promise) / My Chemical Romance / Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge / 50
14. November Rain / Guns N' Roses / Greatest Hits / 48
15. Clocks / Coldplay / A Rush Of Blood To The Head / 41
16. Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine / The Killers Hot Fuss / 41
17. This Fire / Franz Ferdinand / Franz Ferdinand / 38
18. Futures / Jimmy Eat World / Futures / 38
19. Livin' On A Prayer / Bon Jovi / Slippery When Wet / 36
20. Lose Yourself / Eminem / 8 Mile / 34
21. Just Lose It / Eminem / Encore / 33
22. The Scientist / Coldplay / A Rush Of Blood To The Head / 31
23. You Give Love A Bad Name / Bon Jovi / Slippery When Wet / 30
24. track14 / 29
25. Independence Day / Martina McBride / The Way That I Am / 28

Babe of the Week Month --
I have just been informed that I must take down all the Playboy pictures because of copyright violations or else the site get shut down. Hence, I've decided that I'm going to stop doing Babe of the Week and instead do a Babe of the Month. Doing this will help make it look less stupid when a quarter of my previous weekly winners disappear and it will allow me to be more picky with whom I pick in the future. To date, I've been contacted by lawyers of Playboy, Maxim, FHM, Tila Nguyen and Rachel Sterling/Angel Veil and it's already way too much of an annoyance for some site I do on my free time and don't make money off of. You'll have to live with only getting one new girl each month.

Fuck lazy FedEx drivers --
I'm beyond annoyed by what has transpired today with FedEx. I had something coming in today that couldn't be re-routed so I was going to stay home from work until it go here and then go in afterwards. Well, the shit didn't work out as planned thanks to a stupid and extremely lazy FedEx driver that has no fucking clue how to do his job.

I was basically sitting around waiting for the knock on the door and I wouldn't even turn on the TV or put on any music because I wanted to make sure that I would hear anything. Lo and behold around 3PM I decided to track the package to see what was up and found out that a delivery attempt was made and that the driver said nobody was home. Hello? I didn't hear a knock and there wasn't a notice left on my door. What the fuck?

So, I called FedEx and they said a notice was left but that they would ask the driver to come back again. I decide to check outside the building and I found the notice -- he left it on the outside of the entire building. He couldn't get in and was too fucking dee dee dee to pick up the phone next to the door and find me name so I could buzz him in. Seriously, how lazy and/or stupid does he have to be to NOT do this? I NEVER have this problem with the UPS or DHL drivers, but the FedEx jack asses ALWAYS pull this crap. Plus, it was at 2PM in the afternoon so there's ALWAYS people going in and out of the building.

And, of course, the fuck face didn't take the time to re-deliver the package and just took it back to the main office, which I had to go to after 6PM. Then when I get there, there's only one person doing shit and the person being helped was a moron and needed 15 minuts of help. Eventually someone else comes out from the back and asks to take my door slip and then takes the slips of the three people behind me and goes back to get all our packages. So, guess what? The 'tard decides to call the people's names in REVERSE, so of the four total people -- the three people BEHIND me plus myself -- I was handed my package last and had to wait an extra five minutes because of this crap. Fuck FedEx.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

I've got issues --
I hate people bugging me to register to vote, sign petitions, join their religion or whatever when I'm just outside trying to do my shopping. Luckily, when people ask me if I'm registered to vote, I have the easy and truthful response that typically gets eye-opening reactions -- "Sorry, but I'm a convicted felon." It's true and it's my free "get out of voting" and "get out of jury duty" card that I like to play whenever needed.

However, with the others I have to lie or just be weird, such was the case yesterday when some dude standing outside of Safeway posed the question, "can you sign this petition to increase the penalties for sex offenders?" To this I responded with a big chuckle and an evil grin followed up by me saying, "Oh, now how ironic would that be? I think not!" The dude's jaw dropped and he just looked like he was face-to-face with Satan himself. I just can't believe I was able to keep myself from laughing because I thought that was the funniest shit ever. I just walked away and hopefully that young gentleman will never bother me again.

The Speeding White Sausage??? --
So Dave Toole was being gay a couple of nights ago and watching the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics when the announcer said some dude's nickname was "The Speeding White Sausage". The best part of it was that the announcer did it WITHOUT laughing his fucking ass off. How the hell can you say that and not just die in laughter? Seriously, that's gotta be one of the worst nicknames ever. Or is it the greatest nickname ever? I could go either way.

Sunday, February 5, 2006

Super Bowl MVP: The Refs --
Maybe it was just because I was expecting it to be the worst Super Bowl ever going in, but was that or was that not the worst Super Bowl ever? Even the blowouts that are over by halftime were better in the fact that at least you saw one dominating team take over and win the football game. Unless you're a hardcore Steeler fan or a new bandwagon Steeler fan or just someone that bet money on the Steelers and picked the Under, there's absolutely nothing good that you can be said about the game.

For one, the horrible officiating that dominated the playoffs continued in the Super Bowl. I wonder how Porter feels being on the positive side this time and I wonder if he feels he benefitted from the NFL "cheating" to help the Steelers win the Super Bowl. If it's believable that they would cheat to help out Peyton, then it's every bit as believable that they'd cheat to get the Steelers to win. Why? Well, they're going to sell a LOT more of those $65 Super Bowl sweatshirts, t-shirts, hats and DVDs for the Steelers than they would've for the Hawks. Steeler fans are all over the country, while very few people outside of Washington, Oregon and Montana give a damn about the Seahawks. Here are the bad calls I can recall that I think were obvious and game-changing:

1) The offensive pass interference call in the end zone that took away a Seattle TD in the first quarter was a complete joke. It just doesn't get called and it's one of the calls that typically gets called less in the Super Bowl because you don't want officials deciding the game. It should've been a TD for Seattle. Michael Jordan's "push off" was 1000 times more of a foul than this "push off" was a penalty. It should not have been called.

2) I thought it was 100% conclusive that the ball did NOT cross the goalline on the TD run by Big Ben. It was about as close to getting to the goalline without scoring, but it did not cross and it should have been overturned by replay. I guess that's what the NFL gets for having a guy be the head ref for the FIRST TIME EVER for the biggest game of the year.

3) The right tackle for the Steelers TACKLED #94 for the Seahawks on the 75 yard TD run by Parker. It wasn't called and the announcers never even said shit about it. He had his arms wrapped around him and spun him and threw him to the ground to open the hole for the TD run.

4) The offensive holding on the Seattle pass that would've put them on the 1-yard line was a bad call. Even Madden said it was an awful call and they both tried so hard not to rip into the refs that much that it was annoying.

5) The 15 yard penalty on Matthew, as called by his wife, on the INT return was an obvious fuck up by the refs and it put the Steelers in perfect position to run that reverse pass that got them the TD.

6) When the Steelers were trying to run the clock, the time experied on the play clock and it was at "0" before Ben turned to the official and called the time out. It should've been delay of game and it would've put the Steelers back five and would've made it a lot more difficult to get that first down.

7) There was some "phantom" holding call on Warrick's 34 yard return that wasn't seen anywhere in any of the replays. Madden thought it was at the line, but that's not what was called because it was on the return and marked later. That dude that was flagged never touched anyone else on that play.

Even if you were to just ignore the penalties and any possible "conspiracy" theories, the game just sucked regardless. It's the first Super Bowl that I've watched where the winning team really played and looked like shit. They couldn't run the ball, they couldn't pass the ball, and they rarely did anything to stop Seattle's offense. Seattle just stopped themselves with Jerramy "Softie" Stevens' four dropped passes, stupid play calls by Holmgren, dumb penalties, and retarded passes by Matthew. The Miami Dolphins could have easily beaten this Pittsburgh Steelers team on this particular Sunday. Just think...our Super Bowl champions can't even call themselves AFC North champs.

Anyway, despite it being a boring ass game between two sloppy teams with some of the worst officiating ever, I guess I'm happy that Bill Cowher won a Super Bowl. I hate it when someone consistently wins year in and year out but is labeled a loser because of the lack of a Super Bowl win because winning it all has a lot to do with luck as anything else -- as shown today with the bad penalties. I also like that Big Ben won it even though he played like shit because I thought he was the best QB in that draft where he was the 3rd QB taken in the first round.

The game sucked, the NFL is a now a joke, the halftime show was horrible, the officiating today and throughout the playoffs was embarassing, and I can't wait for March Madness and the NHL playoffs. Hell, I may even move up NASCAR and the World Series of Poker ahead of the NFL on my favorite sports list. Oh, and as I stated before, this year the BCS > Super Bowl. This game was a Super Joke.

By the way, here are a couple of nice reads by pro sportswriters about the horrible officiating, so at least I know I'm not the only one. It just disgusted me as a fan of NFL football.

http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/sports/football/13801313.htm
http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/5310192
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/playoffs05/columns/story?columnist=smith_michael&id=2320683

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

Wow!

Superman's high school sweetheart --
She's a repeat winner; however, I'm fairly confident that I won't get any complaints in giving the ever-so-lovely Kristin Kreuk another stint as my Babe of the Month. In fact, it was a specific request of my ninja-loving friend at work after having just started watching the Smallville DVDs. I guess he just wasn't happy with the two pictures I included of her during her first weekly reign at the top of Lust Mountain. I completely agreed that she deserved more and that's why this fine ass piece of mixed breeding is getting a second Babe of the Month feature.

DVDs --
Is it just a strange coincidence that after I stopped buying DVDs at Suncoast religiously every single DVD Tuesday that the store at the Northgate Mall downstairs from work closed down? Or did them losing approximately 150 DVD purchases a year because of my move to Best Buy just push them into the red? I guess this is a mystery that I will never know.

The truth is that once I switched the Best Buy I started buying a LOT less DVDs each week because since it's an extra 10 minutes away it took a lot of the impulse buys out of me. Plus, because of my budget needs I've been using Blockbuster.com to rent as much as I want, so I only buy the must-have flicks such as my recently-purchased Into The Blue staring the greatest actress of our time, the lovely Jessica Alba. I now own a jizz-inducing 422 movies. Love me.