Who's Dave Z?
Babe of the Week
"Dear Dave"
Message Boards
Photo Gallery
Reviews
My Resume
Previous Updates
Email Me

BFL Progress

Music
Dreamcast
DVD
GameCube
Genesis
Jaguar
N64
NES
PlayStation
PlayStation 2
Saturn
Sega CD
SNES
Turbo Grafx
Xbox

PSX2.com
MySpace
Sega-Saturn.com
IGNPS2
D-N-A Cafe

"You know... you're like the A-bomb. Everybody''s laughing, having a good time, then you show up... 'boom' everything's dead."

- Master Shake

Monday, February 28, 2005

I'd tap it.

Not a simple life --
I'm going to keep the introduction short for this just because I've already written too much today. This week's Babe of the Week is the lovely Nicole Richie. She's one of the hotties on The Simple Life and she deserves a spot in everyone's Spank Bank™.

Help out my girl Carolyn --
One of my previous Babe of the Week winners needs your help in Maxim's Hometown Hotties contest, so I'm begging you to show her your support. Help me help her out by going to the link above and by choosing her as one of your 10 selections to help her get into Maxim. She's "Carolyn" and she's the one in the 2nd column from the left and on the 4th row down. If she gets into the magazine because of your votes, I'm pretty sure she'll let me have my way with her, so do it for me even if you don't personally care whether or not she wins.

Is the end of the world near? --
The Red Sox win the World Series. Jamie Fox wins an Oscar. Florida gets hit by like three Hurricanes in a row. Huge tsunami wipes out southeast Asia. I somehow get two attractive girls to fuck me at the same time. Iraq is a huge mess. We're inching closer to confrontations with both Iran and North Korea.

Seriously, are we looking at the end of mankind anytime soon? If anyone knows for sure if the world's gonna end anytime soon, let me know because I have nearly $15K of available credit on credit cards and it'd be cool as fuck to max them all out knowing that I'll never have to pay them back because we'll all be dead within a year.

One of the coolest dreams ever --
Considering that it wasn't a complete sex dream and usually those are the only ones I ever like having, I guess calling last night's dream one of the coolest ones ever is a pretty big deal. I just wish I could remember all of the little details, but I can't. Nevertheless, I figure I'll share some of the highlights and just the general feeling that I woke up feeling like I had such an amazing dream.

Okay, so the basic premise of the dream was that someone -- can't recall who or what this someone was -- came to me and gave me the opportunity to see how my life and the history of the world unfold if I had made different decisions at five key points in my life. I can't remember right now what the five key points were, except that I felt they were real things that happened to me, but changing how I reacted or acted in these situations had serious implications on how my life and the world in general turned out.

In the beginning, many of the outcomes were somewhat within the real of believability. For instance, there was one where I made it as a professional football player. After a four year career at the University of Miami where I won a pair of National Championships and a Heisman Trophy my Senior year as a defensive end, I was selected #1 overall by the Bengals. In my first year, I won the Defensive Rookie of the Year, and I went on to win the Defensive Player of the Year my 2nd and 3rd years with the team while leading the Bengals to the playoffs in both of those last two years (no Super Bowls).

But this is where it really gets good. After my 3rd season, I became a free agent while turning down a contact that would've made me the highest paid defensive player in the history of football to play for the Miami Dolphins who only had enough cap room to pay me the league minimum. In my first year with the Dolphins, I set an NFL record for sacks with 29.5 while also setting a record by scoring seven defensive touchdowns all while helping lead the team to a victory in the Super Bowl -- Dan Marino's first ever Super Bowl ring.

Then in the following season, 1999, I increased my sack record by getting 36.5, won my 4th straight Defensive Player of the Year award, and helped lead the Dolphins with Dan Marino as the QB to a repeat as Super Bowl champions. Marino retired after the 1999 season with back-to-back Super Bowl championships all John Elway-like, except Elway never got his 2nd straight in 1998 because I personally gave him a career ending concussion on a sack of him in the 1998 AFC Championship game while helping hold Terrel Davis to under 25 yards rushing.

Anyway, this was one of the dreams I was most thrilled about...until I found out that during Marino's induction speech into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2005 that he gave special thanks to recently-deceased me that died in 2004 because of complications caused by my extended use of steroids throughout my life. Okay, so I guess at one of those "key points" I decided to use steroids and if I did, Dan Marino would be going into the Hall of Fame this year with a pair of Super Bowl rings and the undisputed honor of being the "Greatest Quarterback of All Time" while I would be dead before my 31st bday because of steroid abuse. Hmm, maybe I'd take it.

Well, in another of the outcomes that I'm able to remember I somehow ended up with Britney Spears. I can't remember what the hell my career was or how or when I ended up with her, but we spent a LOT of time fucking. And this was the early years Britney before she started looking all trailer trash and fat, so it was really nice. Plus, with all the fucking we were constantly doing she managed to stay in that shape while we were married. What also made this dream very cool was that I was having an affair with Christina Aguilera and hundreds of other hot female celebs all without Britney ever finding out. All I wanna know is what the fuck did I do wrong to NOT get this outcome?

Alright, so if those are a couple of the ones that fell in the realm of "believability", then what the fuck changed in the more outlandish ones? Well, here are some examples:

In one, changing the way I acted at those five key points in my life led to complete peace in the Middle East. Yep, I shit you not. By changing what I did in my personal life, I was able to unleash a chain of events that led to peace in the region that would last until the end of days.

In another, my altered decisions created a world that was dominated by monkeys. And, no, not the ape-like creatures in the movies, but real life monkeys and chimpanzees that would just walk around masturbating on, pissing on and throwing poop on the human slaves. I was in a position of power, the right hand man of the leader monkey, so I'm thinking I must've sold out the human race at some point. But, I don't know the details of how this outcome came to fruition.

Umm, so there you have it. If I would've led my life differently, I might've made it to the NFL and helped Marino win some rings, married Britney and hooked up with hundreds of hot female celebs, helped achieve peach in the Middle East, or led humanity to its ruin in a world ruled by monkeys and chimps. Seriously, what the fuck? All those sound pretty cool and interesting...why'd I end up with the one where I'm making videogames for a living and writing about my masturbation habits and sexual thoughts on my website for all to see? Gosh, ruling the world with monkeys would've been wicked cool. Just sayin'...

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

A little bi-monthly love --
Alright, so I don't really update "Dear Dave" all that much anymore. Don't blame me! Blame all the people that send nothing but Babe of the Week requests or pleads for the Katie Doyle Playboy photos. All of that shit just isn't all that interesting to update with on a regular basis. Nevertheless, I've pieced togther an updated from the "Dear Dave" mail sent over the past few weeks...sadly, there are only a few that might possibly interest you. Again, don't blame me, it's not my fault!

It finally happened! --
Okay, so I've been living in the San Francisco area for a little more than five years now and had NEVER been hit on or flirted with by a gay guy...until just recently. Sure, I'm perfectly straight and should look at this as a good thing, but I was honestly feeling a little insecure because of the lack of gay men interested in me. Plus, there was just no way in telling if the lack of interest was because I just wasn't good looking enough or because I was just clearly NOT a homosexual so they figured why bother. Luckily, I don't have to think or worry about this any long because a gay guy flirted with me just a few days ago at the nearby Mall. I feel a lot better about myself now. Just gotta find a way to cancel our date...

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

The best Idol ever? --
Okay, I'm not even thinking about this as far as singing talent is concerned. I honestly don't give a shit about that because I haven't purchased a single CD from any of the past American Idol winners and I don't forsee it happening in the future based on singing talent alone. However, after watching tonight's episode with the 12 women, I've come to the conclusion that this year's Idol has more really fine bitches than were featured in any previous season. Girls like Amanda Avila (02), Carrie Underwood (04), Celena Rae (08) and Lindsey Cardinale (10) are all Babe of the Week kind of fine, with Amanda and Celena being the finest of the bunch. I just hope the hotties make it all the way to the end because that's the only way that it'll keep my ass interested.

Gran Turismo 4 --
Umm, enough said. It's finally out in America and I'm scared of playing it because I fear that I won't be able to stop once I start. I guess I've always said that sleep is for the weak....

Monday, February 21, 2005

Fake boobies not needed.

This one's for Gaz --
I've decided to make Alyson Hannigan my newest Babe of the Week for a couple of reasons. First, she's someone that I wouldn't mind banging the crap out of if given the chance. Second, I'm trying to get the Australian mafia off of my back. They're not scary or anything, it's just that I'm getting sick and tired of all the Vegemite being sent my way. The stuff is pretty damn gross and is worse than getting your thumbs broken by a long shot.

Caught my roomies' cats 69'ing --
I guess it wouldn't have been all that bad if not for the fact that they're brothers. Them being two males 69'ing in San Francisco has to be quite common, but the incest thing is so West Virginia (hey, Brandon!). Anyway, it grossed me out when I opened the door, saw the cats in the 69 position and licking each other. However, I'm trying to wrap my head around whether or not this is actually gay behavior on their parts because in a way they were licking pussy. Oh, well, that's Toole's and Michelle's problem, not mine.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

A weak end --
Went out both Friday and Saturday nights and the more I think about it the more I realize that they both sucked. On Friday night, went with Trevor, Shirley and Joy to Ruby Skye...got there at 10:30PM...went to a diner cause people wanted to eat...got back to Ruby Skye at 11:15PM...Trevor and Shirley left before midnight...I tried going solo for about a half hour before giving up and heading home at 12:30AM. The only good part about the night was that I was fucking plastered before even heading out and I had fun doing stupid shit like asking girls if they wanted to be the third member of a threesome while walking around with Shirley or Joy.

Oh, and a special shout out goes to Anthony Chau for filling me head with stupid shit during the day that I was able to have fun with during the night. It's silly and obnoxious, but when you're drunk enough you find doing things like asking a girl, "hey, would you like to dance?" and when she replies, "No", responding with, "I wasn't asking a question, I just said 'you look fat in those pants'". Nevertheless, fuck Chau for dissing me and not showing up. I could've used a wing! His name is Maverick from this day forward.

Then last night, Trevor was going to some bar to check out this band Ride the Blinds so I decided to go along since I enjoyed their music a lot the last time I checked them out. The placed sucked. I guess the music was very enjoyable and that was supposed to be the point, but I HATE being in a bar where there are 50 guys and 15 girls, where 12 of the 15 girls are girlfriends and the other 3 are ugly. I've seen better ratios and had better luck at Fag Friday at the End Up. Again, the only saving grace for the night was the fact that I got really plastered before even heading out.

The bright spot --
The good news is that I had a second consecutive good week on the Body-for-LIFE regimen. I guess it wasn't perfect because I had a bag of popcorn last Monday night, but I figure there are worse things to cheat with than low-fat popcorn, so I'm not stressing it. My weight dropped another modest 3 1/2 lbs and I'm now a slightly-less tubby 254.0 lbs. I'm really hoping for a 5 lb drop this week just so I can get under the 250s. It'd be the first time since back in November and would put me within striking distance of my "lowest adult weight ever".

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Okay, sign me up!

The O.C.'s hot lesbian --
In case you didn't know, I'm a big fan of watching a pair of hot women locking lips. I'd much rather see some hot kiss between two attractive women than any girl-guy combination, that's for sure. It's just that women are beautiful creatures and seeing a couple of them get sexual together just makes my downstairs all giddy. Having a guy in the picture just ruins it unless I'm the guy and I'm viewing the whole thing from my perspective because it's happening to me.

The reason I bring all this up is that this week's Babe of the Week is the stunning young lady who plays the role of Alex who locked lips with Marissa on last week's episode of The O.C. Her credited name is Olivia Wilde and she's a must-have addition to your own personal Spank Bank™.

Some new, old must-haves --
My roomies have been bugging me about wanting to watch Half-Baked, which I've always assumed that I owned. I finally realized that I had never picked it up before, so I've been searching Best Buy, Target and other retail outlets hoping to find it at some bargain price. I just couldn't find it anywhere. Luckily for me, it turns out that they just re-released the damn thing because the previous version is out of print. I guess it's due to the fact that Dave Chapelle is big now so they figure it's worth re-selling some of this older shit. Good news for me.

In addition to picking up the Half-Baked Fully Baked Edition, I also went ahead and purchased Donnie Darko: The Director's Cut. Sure, I have the previous release and I had vowed to never buy a movie twice again like this, but Donnie Darko is just one of those movies that I think is worth paying for it twice. I'll probably just sell the other version on eBay or something, so it's not really that huge of a deal. Plus, I used a $20 coupon to get it, so it didn’t damage my bank account at all. My collection is now 405 DVD titles strong.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy Valentines Day! --
Yeah, hope you're spending it with someone special cause you know I am...

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Another one off the market --
Britney's already hitched and now Christina's officially engaged? What's wrong with this world? It's no wonder we can't have world peace when I'm not even being given the ass that I rightfully deserve to be tapping. The bright side is that marriage just doesn't last, particularly when celebs are concerned. Plus, I have absolutely no problem being the lawn boy that she screws on the side. I'm perfectly fine with being used as nothing more than a sex object.

A great week...finally! --
I was starting to think that I'd never be able to get through an entire week without doing something to screw up with the diet, but I finally did it. I honestly don't know when was the last time I've been able to go a full week without missing a single workout or fucking off the diet at some point. Friday night was actually extremely difficult and I came close to some post-midnight snacking on about three dozen occasions, but I was able to resist the urges.

I'm really happy for me and am looking forward to making it two weeks in a row. The only bummer, and it's just a minor one because I don't like to get hung up on the scale numbers, is that it was only a 3 1/2 lb drop for the week, as I'm still at a hefty 257.5 lbs. But like I said, I'm not too worried about the numbers and am just excited beyond belief that I was finally able to get through the week without screwing up.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

I blew my chance at screwing a model! --
Alright, so it's a really nice day here in San Francisco. The sun is out, sky is clear and it's just an absolutely stunning day. Since these kinds of days in the city are rare, I decided to just go walking around in the Union Square area just to be outside. While I was walking about a block away from the Neiman Marcus store, I almost bumped into this very familiar-looking gorgeous woman who was walking out of some building. We both said excuse me, exchanged smiles and then I let her walk past since I was a gentleman...and so I could check her out, of course.

After letting her walk by, I noticed that she had a couple of camera guys following her including one that was walking with a video camera. It was then that it hit me she was model and that was why I thought she looked so familiar. The only problem is that for the life of me I just can't think of her name. The picture of her in my Spank Bank™ is fairly vivid and I can visualize various modeling photos I've actually seen her in. However, her name remains a complete mystery to me and it's starting to piss me off!

What pisses me off even more is that there's absolutely NO REASON I shouldn't have just fucking asked her for her name. It would've been a good first step in getting her to come back up to my apartment to have wild sex with me. Damn it! I was soooo close!

Drunk dialing --
I'm beginning to think that I might have a drunk dialing addiction. It's almost as if the reason I drink is so that I can make these obnoxious late night phone calls, text messages or even emails. So far, nobody has been harmed by this obsession and I've actually received a lot of positive feedback for the laughter that many of these inebriated voice mails have provided the recipient. However, I'm sure it's going to have to get old at some point. Oh, well, I'm not going to worry about it too much. At least my alcoholic obsession isn't something like, "drunk tranny fucking". Now, that would be something that might stop me from drinking altogether.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Bye bye credit card debt! --
With a little help from Uncle Sam in the form of my federal and state income tax refunds, I've managed to completely pay off all my credit card debts. As a result, I'm once again completely free of all debt with the exception of the $22K or so I stil owe on my car. Combine that with the fact that I've also started to rebuild my savings and what you get is pretty much me crossing off item #2 from my New Year's Resolutions. Now if I can just lose 50 more lbs and fuck a larger variety of women right quick, including at least one with fake boobs and at least one set of twin sisters, everything in my Top Five for the year will be done. Well, hurrah and go fucking me!

Just Do It --
Chris's stuff that I was pimpin' is still up on the block over on eBay, so please go check out all his auctinos if either into videogames, screwing hot chicks or both. There aren't any hot chicks to screw in any of his auctions, but I figure that if you're into doing chicks then you're cool and if your'e cool, then you'll give his stuff a look.

And while I'm at it, I highly suggest you check out my friend's site at http://www.whatwasthatgame.com. It's pretty l337 and shit and works like this -- you can't remember the name of a game you used to play, you go there, you type in everything you remember, and within minutes you're told what it was and how to get it. Cool, eh? Maybe not quite as cool as my record of 36 times in 24 hours, but it's right up there!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Speeding tickets are booty! --
First of all, since when is going "a little over 70" in a 55 really something that you'll get ticketed for? I guess I should be glad that the pickup truck in front of me was driving like a bitch in the fast lane or else I might've been going my normal 80 and potentially had my license suspended. I'm hecka pissed nonetheless and am wicked mad at the thought of paying a $200+ fine and doing traffic school (even if it's pretty simple to take care of online).

I'm also wondering if I should've stuck with the broken down '89 Accord and its kajillion miles because in over three years of speeding in it, I was NEVER pulled over. I've had the Lexus IS300 for a tad less than six months and have been pulled over for speeding twice (officer was kind enough to let me off with a warning and a fix-it ticket for not having a front plate the first time) and pulled over for various unknown reasons on at least a dozen occasions. What, can't a brutha drive a nice car without the man trying to knock him down?

Great ass, but... --
I guess you could think of this as a follow-up to my little write-up last week about the ass-inspiring workout session, as this morning's workout on the elliptical machine provided some new info worth sharing. It turns out that a great ass on a hot woman alone isn't good enough to keep me going on the machine because a really fine lady with an excellent ass jumped on the machine in front of me and it didn't have the same effect as the ones from last week.

Unlike last week's amazing backsides that swayed back and forth very sexually and erotically, this girl's hips jerked back and forth. What's more is that she also swung her arms very awkwardly...it all just looked weird and like she had no clue how she was supposed to run. As a result, despite the ass being more than worthy of my attention, the painfully jerky hip movement and strange running motion just bothered me to the point where the ass was no longer an inspiration to stay on the machine longer than I had planned. Oh, well, at least I haven't experienced any farters or b.o. bandits in a while. Knock on wood...

Monday, February 7, 2005

Where do I get me one of these?

From a high school boy's obsession to a lesbian ex --
I've been a big fan and devoted follower of my new Babe of the Week ever since I saw this olive-skinned beauty named Emmanuelle Chriqui in that horrible, yet somewhat entertaining, movie called Snow Day. I rarely talked about this obsession because her character was in high school and I felt kind of dirty about it.

However, after seeing her recently playing the lesbian ex-girlfriend on The O.C., I decided it was about time she got honored on this site. It was then when I found out that she was in her 20s when she filmed Snow Day. There was absolutely no reason at all for me to feel bad about lusting after her back then.

Hell, she's only about four years younger than me, so she's a whole lot older than the women I tend to talk to at the bars these days. I fucking hate how Hollywood likes to do this to me. Consideing how ungracefully Britney is aging, I wouldn't be all that surprised if we later find out that she was actually 22 when she broke it big and not 16-ish. lol. lmao. rotflmao. j/k. ily. w/e. fiic.

Chris has some cool shit on eBay --
Even though I'm still hurting from my defeat at his hands in the semi-finals of the last football game tourney we played back at IGN, I figured I'd do Chris Carle, as well as all of you, a favor by sharing the crap he's put up on eBay. He has a dozen or so videogame related items up for auction and you might find something in there that you really like. If you're interested, take a gander at all his auction items.

Another errant throw by McNabb... --
If I could have a dollar for every time those words came out of Troy Aikman's mouth during the Super Bowl telecast, I think I'd have enough cash to fill up my gas tank. Purely as a passer, he's one of the biggest piles of shit that I've ever seen play in the Super Bowl and there have been a LOT of horrible QBs that made it to and even won the big game. And let's not even talk about how Jay Fiedler does a better job running a hurry-up offense and Jay's about as bad as they come. I guess the Chunky soup makes you an idiot that can't hit the side of a barn.

Luckily for him, he's an amazing athlete, is able to get extra time in the pocket that other guys can't, has a very strong arm and is accurate enough to get the ball "in the area" of his receivers enough for them to make plays. Okay, so he's not THAT horrible. I hate the jackass, nevertheless. Oh, and Tom Brady eats dog shit, too. He was mocap talent for VC when he was a nobody and that's what I hear he ate for lunch.

I guess the Super Bowl was a good "game", but the fact that I hate both teams so much and despise both QBs so much made it a snore for me. I'm sorry, but if your defense is ranked #2 or #3 in points allowed per game, the QB doesn't have to work all that hard to be a "winner". Oh, well, I've ranted about my opinions on this QB crap way too much already and don't plan on getting into any arguments about it again, so that'll be the end of it for me. FYI, I did enjoy the commercials, but the half time show made me wanna slit my wrists.

Temp at Victoria's Secret stores --
I got a question for anyone that's ever been into a Victoria's Secret store at any mall, shopping center or what not. Are they generally kept warmer than other stores on purpose? I'm thinking they are and it makes perfect sense if this is true, but I'm wondering if this is fact or do I personally get hot cause of nerves or whatever whenever I have to go into one of these. Every time I go, I leave sweating more than I ever do when I do freakin' cardio at the gym.

Sunday, February 6, 2005

It's deja vu all over again --
My plan to follow the exact meal plan that's posted on the BFL website was working brilliantly. The "was" is in italics because I wanted to emphasize it since I screwed up in the full follow-through and execution of it. Everything was going tremendously well, I was already down 5 lbs by Friday morning, and I always felt very full and satisfied after eating the six small meals. It just blew me away just how much I could eat and still be losing weight.

So, what went wrong? The exact same thing that went wrong last week -- I screwed the pooch on both Friday and Saturday night by eating a lot of food after midnight. I'm starting to think that I may have to ban myself from alcohol until I get in two perfect weeks. Obviously, I should just give it up completely because it's not really supposed to be allowed at all on this diet, but I'd rather be fat than always sober, ya know?

The good news is that this past week was my second excellent week of working out. I haven't missed a single workout over these past two weeks and my workouts have been excellent. Furthermore, the way the eating portion of my program went during the beginning of the week really has me excited because of the quantity and variety of food I was able to eat while staying within the BFL guidelines in types of foods and portion sizes. As long as I can keep from the after-midnight drunken food binges, I should be all right.

I'm thinking I may have to get some kind of eletric dog collar to put on my neck and pay Dave Toole to be my Friday and Saturday night watch dog. I'll just have him electrocute me whenever I try to eat any unauthorized foods or after any unauthorized times. The only problem is that I'm such a freak that I might just be turned on by the electrical shock and will eat just so he can fry me some.

Saturday, February 5, 2005

A loooong ass workout --
Saturday is one of my cardio days, so I went into the gym this morning at 9AM to do my BFL 20 minute aerobic solution. You know, worrying about the intensity and upping that than worrying about the time. Anyway, just as I was about done with my 20 minutes this really hot girl with an amazing figure got on the treadmill that was directly in front of the elliptical machine I was using.

And, man, her ass was un-fucking-believable and her hips swayed oh-so-sexually as she walked or run on the treadmill. Being the perv that I am, I decided that I'd just put the thing in free mode and just stay on to check out the "view" for a little longer. I kept telling myself that I should just leave but the ass kept begging me to stay, so I listened and kept churning along on the elliptical machine.

After a bunch of time passed, she finally stopped, got off the machine to leave. I smiled at her when she turned around and she smiled back and my eyes went back to that ass as she walked away. Then just as I was about to call it a day, another really fucking fine honey caught my eye as she walked by hottie #1. She got on the EXACT same treadmill directly in front of me and she had an equally amazing ass. My guess is that these girls are vying for my attention because there were about 20 different treadmills open in the gym and they both got on the ones directly in front of me.

Figuring it was my duty to see this ass through its entire workout, I decided to stay to see where it'd take me. Once again, the ass and this girl's body was just off the hook. Just like the previous bitch, her body was completely in shape and "athletic" and her ass was very shapely and round in the right places. Oh, and it also moved oh-so-erotically side-to-side as she walked or ran on the treadmill.

After a long while, she finished and walked off. Seeing that there was no more ass auditions for me to check out, I figured it was my time to end my workout. This is when it hit me just how long I was on the machine -- 128 minutes. Holy crap, that's the longest I think I've ever done a cardio workout and I didn't even NOTICE it. And it wasn't like I was loafing, either, as I was doing it at a pretty fast pace and the thing had me burning over 2,100 calories (I average about 280 in my normal 20 minute workouts...).

I'm definitely feeling it now, but I guess I was so hypnotized by the seductive booties that working out just wasn't in my mind. This has led to me wondering just how long I could've gone if the ass supply could've been constantly replenished. Seriously, if the same quality of ass kept coming and someone was able to get me water to keep my hydrated, you think I could've gone for three or even four hours? Hell, could I have gone a full day? Maybe we'll be able to put this to the test some day...it'd definitely be interesting.

Thursday, February 3, 2005

No, that wasn't me on American Idol --
Despite what David Toole thinks, that wasn't me on American Idol last night. Matthew and I aren't the same person...and I don't have a female's voice and wouldn't have picked a Kelly Clarkson song to sing. Umm, but the jack ass did have some similar facial features...and it scared me to see the similarities. Nevertheless, fuck you David Toole! I hate you!

Not Texas Tech, but still hot --
I have been informed that the Texas Tech swim team picture below isn't really the Texas Tech swim team. It's actually some Tampa Bay cheerleaders and that the Texas Tech shit is photoshop'd on. It makes a LOT more sense now. Regardless, the bitches are all worthy of being bent over and blasted from behind.

I wanna go to Texas Tech... --
All I gotta say is, oh my fucking nut sack. You would think that with the titties that some of these chicks have that they wouldn't be able to swim all that fast. Floating sure, but not gliding through the water at breasttaking speeds. I think I meant to say breathtaking...oops! Meet the 2004 Texas Tech swim team, courtesy of Zach...

.

Best footballer ever! --
Okay, so I've only played about a half-dozen games, but I think it's safe to say that Winning Eleven 8 is one of the greatest sports games that I've ever played. I had been playing a lot of WE7 in preperation for this and I'm just blown away by how much better this one is than what was already a brilliant game. The thing that really jumps out at me is just how fluid and organic everything feels -- particularly the ball physics and the player animations. It's an astonishing title and an absolute must own title for anyone that's into sports videogames. Just be aware that it's an extremely deep game with some very advanced play mechanics even to start off. However, I see it as a good thing because it's one of those games that rewards you for actually getting better at the game. You can't say that for a lot of titles these days.

Wednesday, February 2, 2005

Worth the wait? --
Alright, so I've finally gotten around to putting together a "Dear Dave" update after its longest hiatus ever -- a little over six weeks. Is it worth the wait? My honest opinion is a big fat "no". There's just not much worthwhile content in it, but if I were to wait to update the section until I felt it had enough worthwhile content, we probably wouldn't see an update at all in '05. Within you'll find some cool shared links and pictures, some talk about my weight loss goals, and my answer to the question, "do you prefer to stick it in a girl's ass or pussy?". Apparently, there are some inquiring minds that would like to know.

Tuesday, February 1, 2005

Look familiar? Well you must be a porn watching perv!

She gets boned on camera --
Would you believe it if I told you that I have NEVER watched any porn? If you answered "yes" to this question, you get my vote for the biggest idiot on the planet award. But don't worry, I won the damn thing last year for that little accident of mine with the peanut butter, garbage disposal and my penis.

What I'm getting at is that this week's Babe of the Week is an adult actress or "porn star". Her name is Jessica Jaymes and I've seen her nekkid on film on more than several occasions. However, I can't say that I've seen her in any girl-guy flicks because all I've personally witnessed is girl-girl stuff with her. Well, okay, I've seen some girl-girl-girl-girl stuff with her, too, if you want to get really specific.

6 - 1 --
That was pretty much my record for the first week back on the program. I had six solid days and one really bad one. Monday through Friday went quite well with only a couple of minor mishaps, but the shit hit the proverbial fan on Saturday night. Nevertheless, my weight still managed to drop from 265.0 lbs to 260.0 lbs for a 5 lbs loss for week #1 of my newest Body-for-LIFE cycle.

I'm really hoping for a perfect week for week #2 here because I found out this past weekend that I've grown out of about half of my XL clubbin' shirts. I still fit into the other half, but they're a tiny bit snug around the shoulders now while the ones that don't fit are tight around the shoulders and the middle of the chest. That's not a good thing! I guess I should be glad that I did finally decide to get back on this thing seriously because it was starting to get out of control. Also, I'm hoping that the fact that the shirts no longer fit can give me a bit of a kick in the ass as far as motivation is concerned since that's a lot more tangible than a number on the scale that always fluxuates up and down anyway. Wish me luck!