Big week for getting smaller --
I weighed in this morning at 311.0 lbs, which is a full 9 lb drop from last week's first weigh-in of this new 12-week cycle. All-in-all, I've lost something like 75 1/2 lbs. Not too bad, I guess. Got a lot left to lose, but it's nice to be nearing that 300 lb mark. It'll be a happy day in this man's life when I step on that scale and see a "2" at the beginning of that three digit number. Hopefully, when that happens there'll never be another time where I weigh more than 300 lbs again for the rest of my life.  

Saturday, December 28, 2002

Final Fantasy X, love it and hate it --
Finally finished Final Fantasy X for the PS2 today. It's a great overall game with a wonderful story and excellent ending, but there was honestly a lot about the game that really irked me. First, the random encounters seemed even more annoying in FFX than they do in your average RPG -- or maybe I'm just getting annoyed by them more at my old age. 

In the last 1/4 of the game, most of the battles all seemed like big boss fights even though they were just random encounters that happened seemingly every five or six steps. It was made even worse by the fact that most of the areas you walked through were either so basic that you were just pressing on direction and waiting as it would probably take 10 minutes to get from point A to B even without a single random encounter, only to have to fight every couple of seconds.  

I also realized that I don't want voice for nearly every single character at all points throughout a game as long as this one is. The majority of the voice segments for non-critical parts of the story just bored me more than anything else and felt like a waste of time. The quality of the voice acting also suffered a lot at these same instances. The game's pacing could've been much better if the voice was removed or limited for a lot of these areas. Skipping stuff should also be a whole lot easier. 

Regardless, I still enjoyed playing through the game and I'm glad that I finally finished Final Fantasy X. Its ending was sad, but very satisfying overall. I really wish that Aeris didn't have to die, again, however. Hasn't she died enough already?

Penile Yeast Infection --
It's an average sized "Dear Dave" update, but it's packed with lots of goodness. Wonderful subject matters is covered like smegma, the must-have games for Dreamcast, and a detailed explanation of what I'm doing exactly for this Body-for-LIFE program (I'm supposed to call it a lifestyle change, but that makes it sound like I'm turning towards man love). Anyway, all this and much, much more can be found in today's ever-so-breathtaking "Dear Dave" letters column.

It's like rain on your wedding day --
Life is strange as fuck. For the past six years I've been dodging my creditors and trying to avoid them as much as possible, putting up with my phone ringing 30+ times per day. Well, I've been able to get enough money together to pay off a couple of my long overdue bills and it proved to be highly entertaining. 

The first happened after I actually answered the phone when it read UNAVAILABLE and said "yes" to the question, "Is David there?". After giving his quick little spiel about where he worked and how he's trying to collect money from me, I promptly replied, "okay, I'll pay it now". Sounding surprised beyond belief, the guy responded with a unbelieving, "are you serious?". I said, "yes." He said, "You can pay it right now? Today?" I then said, "yes" once again and he then replied with a, "Umm, okay, hold on one second while I talk to my manager."

I'm pretty sure the talk went something like, "Holy shit! Someone is actually going to pay us! This has never happened before!!!" Well, I negotiated a 50% pay off and was able to take care of that bill. Anyway, I found the whole thing highly humorous and it honestly entertained the fuck out of me.

The next debt that I had wanted to take care of wasn't quite as easy. My long-overdue and closed American Express account still has $763.33 on it and I had just enough to cover it, so I wanted to get it resolved. Well, nobody seems to want my money. I called American Express and they told me that they no longer had that account and transferred it to Risk Management Alternative. I called them and they told me that they no longer had the account and it was currently in the hands of Coldata Collections. I then called them to find out that they no longer had that account and it was sent back to Risk Management. This merry-go-round basically went on and on and the bottom line is that I STILL don't know who I need to pay here. I would just ignore it, but it's still showing up negatively on my credit report, so I do want it resolved. 

My guess is that they're just trying to give me grief for not picking up any of their calls for the past five to six years. Anyway, my debt, much like my waist size, is a little bit smaller now. I still owe a shit load of money, but it's down to just 4 companies that I owe money to. At its worst, my debt was about $30K for a grand total of 31 different accounts that were all past due and extremely delinquent. My credit rating is still "Very Poor", but I'm looking at like a 30 on a 100 point scale instead of the flat "0" that I had at one point (lowest possible rating). 

"To Do" List --
Today was yet another day away from work and all alone where I had to find things to do in order to keep myself busy and relatively sane. To do this, I put together a little mission plan of tasks that I wanted to accomplish and I then set forth and completing each of them. Here's how it all went:

Mission #1: Get Hair Cut
The first task for the day was to get my hair cut because it was getting way too long. I had been scared of cutting it because whenever I get my hair cut, it always makes my face look fatter. Didn't want anyone thinking I was slacking on my diet just because I looked chubbier with shorter hair. Couldn't put it off any longer, though, so I headed to Super Cuts to get the same basic cut that I've been getting for nearly 15 years. 

Funny thing is that I was extremely close to asking for a mullet. On the drive there, I had the bright idea that I should get myself a good old mullet since my hair was long enough to do one properly. Plus, I figured it'd look extra freaky because half my hair is brown on the other half is bleach blonde right now. Chickened out at the very last second, however. I just couldn't go through with it. Could've had a fun updated if I did. I apologize for that. Mission Accomplished

Mission #2: Trade In Game That Wasn't Really A Gift...And Get Full Price
I had a PC game sitting around in some unopened tin box that I hadn't been able to trade-in because most places don't seem to take back PC games without receipts these days, especially online-only ones. So, I figured I'd take advantage of the fact that today is the day after Christmas and the busiest day of the year at retail for returns and exchanges. 

The first place I tried was Electronics Boutique at the Serremonte Mall. Shot down like a little bitch. Wouldn't let me exchange it because it was an online PC game and I didn't have a receipt or gift receipt. Only positive is that I bumped into a guy named Jonathan working there that said he reads the site. Didn't get to converse beyond just a simple, "Hi" and a "Nice to meet you", which I mumbled in my classic Silent Dave mumbling style, because there were like 100 people waiting in line and I didn't want to hold anyone up. It's always nice to bump into people like that, so it helped make the failure less painful.

I wasn't about to fail the mission because of a single setback, so I immediately headed towards the Game Stop at the same mall. Well, it wasn't immediate because I got lost for a little bit and kept heading down the wrong "wings". I really hate that mall. If I don't have Jeremy Conrad to lead me around it, I can't help but get lost. Getting off track, though...

Anyway, after finally reaching the Game Stop and waiting in line for about 15 minutes, I was able to trade it in without a receipt and for its full retail price. I went ahead and picked up a copy of Metroid Fusion for the GBA and I still have $30 of store credit remaining. Maybe I'll use it towards DOA Extreme Beach Volleyball when it comes out next month or just get some old PSX or DC games one day. Mission Accomplished

Mission #3: Be A Pain In The Ass
Typically, shopping or working retail around the holidays is a major pain in the ass. There are so many people out there that can't help but be annoying and don't even realize it. People are just assholes naturally. Because of this, I thought it would be fun to be annoying...but on purpose and with the realization that I'm going to annoy people. 

Taking a cue from a Dell commercial, I decided that it would be very annoying to go to the computer section of a store (I chose Target) and to call Dell while standing around in the aisle, taking up space and getting in people's way. That's basically what I did. While in the computer section at Target, I busted out my cell phone and gave Dell a call at 1-800-WWW-DELL. I proceeded to inquire about purchasing a desktop system while constantly referring to some feature of a computer that was sitting in front of me at the store -- things like..."this computer in front of me has this cool gray mouse with red lights coming out of it, can I get one like that from you guys?"...and so on. 

I made sure to talk very loudly, which isn't natural to me so it sounded more like shouting, and I was careful to stay as much IN the way as possible and act completely oblivious to the people around me. When people would say, "excuse me", I would respond with a dirty look and once even replied, "can't you see I'm doing something here?". I managed to piss off a lot of people at the store and annoyed the Dell sales rep on the phone because I kept asking stupid questions and the bogus credit card number I gave him at the end was declined. All in all, it was very rewarding to be the asshole instead of the guy being annoyed by the asshole. Mission Accomplished

Mission #4: Gather Spank Bank™ Material
Believe it or not, I get tired of having sex over and over with celebrities and models like Diana Kauffman, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Alba, Lisa Gleave, Britney Spears, Pamela Anderson and Ben Affleck. Sometimes, I just need to spank it to some normal people. The only problem with this is that since I don't have access to a lot of photos and/or movies of normal people the images of fine women that I bump into aren't always that clear in my Spank Bank™ database and they usually deteriorate quickly. Because of that, I generally need them to be fresh in my mind for it to work. 

This mission was pretty easy because I was already at the mall since my previous tasks led me there and the mall is a good place to see cute chicks. Luckily, I saw a lot of them and was able to store several of them in my Spank Bank™ for use when I got home. The wonderful thing about having sex this way is that you're able to fix the flaws of the women in question and for those that look dangerously close to being underage, it's not too hard to age them a little in your fantasy or hook them up with a fake ID so the authorities in dreamland will leave you alone. You can even give them minor plastic surgery, breast augmentation, slim them down some and fix just about anything that may be wrong with them without it costing you a single dime. Mission Accomplished

Mission #5: Clean The Carpet
This seemed like an easy one. Just rent a Rug Doctor and then use it. Didn't turn out to be all that easy. Our carpet is filthy and most of the stains have set for so long that they may just be permanent. I went through three full bottles of Resolve and went over the carpet in the living room and dining room completely FIVE full times to get it looking moderately clean. Some of the stains just won't seem to go away (even used sprays on them), but on the whole the carpet looks much better. Mission (sorta) Accomplished

Merry Christmas! --
I hope that all of you have had a very merry Christmas and for those that are still at the point in your lives where the gift getting is at its peak, I hope that you got everything that you had wanted. As for me, Christmas day was spent cleaning. Since I had a day off from work, there's nothing on TV and all my roommates are with family, I was so bored that I decided to clean up the place. Well, more like throwing out old junk and rearranging shit rather than actual cleaning for now. 

Sounds like a crappy Christmas, but it's not. I actually got a lot accomplished today even though the apartment on the whole doesn't really look all that much better. I'm happy with it, though. My plan for tomorrow is to dust the place some and rent a Rug Doctor and hopefully get the carpet looking less disgusting. Anyway, hope all is well in your lives and, once again, Merry Christmas!

Oh yeah, Xenosaga... --
In addition to the house cleaning, I also played through about six hours of the English version of Xenosaga that Smith had lying around. The only reason I stopped is that it got kind of boring once I went past the point in the game where the voice acting stopped (it's not complete yet, obviously, and the voices stop around four hours in). Nevertheless, I really like what I've played so far even though it's far more watching movies than actually playing at this point in the game. The story is very intriguing, though, and I can't wait until I'm able to continue on a more complete build. It's definitely moved way up on my most wanted list for 2003. 

Korea's greatest export --
This week's Babe of the Week is none other than Sung Hi Lee, one of the finest women to ever cross the Pacific to become a grade-A USA whore. I don't know really what I meant by that, but just take it as me saying that this bitch be fine. 

I'm just a little bored today because I'm home all alone, nothing's on TV and I have a day off from work. Forgive me...and don't hurt yourself spanking it to Sung Hi, the newest Babe of the Week.

A New Beginning --
Today is the first full day of my second 12-week Body-for-LIFE cycle, the first of which saw me lose about 61.5 lbs in all. My new starting weight, which was taken yesterday, is 320.0 lbs (happened to lose 5 lbs on my week "off" for those worried about me taking time off). My goal is to lose about 3 1/2 lbs a week during this new 12-week cycle, so I hope to drop below 280.0 lbs by the end of it, which will be on March 17, 2002. Assuming that I'm still around at that time, which isn't certain because of that whole "dead before 30" curse, I should be within striking distance of my long-term goal of no longer being a fat ass. 

Stay tuned for a new Babe of the Week tomorrow. Until then, read yesterday's "Dear Dave" update because it was fairly hefty in size. 

Better than sex --
This update better be because for the first time since starting this website, the "Dear Dave" section is in danger of getting beat out by the Babe of the Week in terms of monthly readership. I guess it doesn't help that I've updated it far less than normal this month. It's been a while since the last one, but that just means that this new update is really big. In fact, this is one of the biggest "Dear Dave" updates I've ever done. It'll be up to you to determine whether or not it's any good.

New games for the 16-bit systems --
After watching that stupid football game yesterday afternoon, I made myself feel better by picking up some old games from Funcoland (it's called Game Stop now) for the Genesis (Blaster Master 2, Batman & Robin, Hardball III and Sword of Vermilion) and SNES (Jungle Strike and Desert Strike). I had actually previously owned all of these games in the past, but had the Genesis versions of the Strike games and not the SNES ones.

Fuck the Dolphins --
No, I'm not talking about having sex with those lovable mammals. Although, it does feel damn good to have your dick in a nice, wet blowhole. I'm talking about that piece of shit, sorry ass excuse of a football team called the Miami Dolphins. They played completely uninspired and were sloppy on both sides of the football and lost to a team that they needed to beat. Sure, they can still win the AFC East with a win next week against the Patriots, but I, for one, will be cheering for the team from New England. I honestly do not want to watch a playoff game with these overpaid jackasses in it and am sick of them choking at the end of the year, season after season. For them to even have a shot at making it to the Super Bowl, they NEEDED to have home field advantage throughout and today's performance blew their shot at that.

Stuck with the shorts --
And I bought some new DVD movies, including Minority Report and Cowboy Bebop Best Sessions. Didn't watch Minority Report yet (well, I saw it at the theater, just didn't watch the DVD tonight), but did check out the six 5.1-enhanced episodes of Cowboy Bebop and must report that the audio was phenomenal. Worth getting if you're a fan of the anime and have yourself a nice Dolby Digital or DTS home theater setup. I think my DVD collection is now 181 titles deep. 

It's getting cold in herre... --
When I lived back east, a day where it got down to 40 degrees in the winter would be considered a bit on the toasty side. But after living here in the Bay Area for a few years, it's dick-shrinking cold. And the general climate here isn't even what you'd consider being "California" weather. It's never really all that hot and the sky is almost always overcast and gloomy. Nevertheless, this recent temperature drop is just killing me.

Anyway, I'm kind of missing the 60+ lbs of fat that I've lost of the past three months because I could sure use some extra insulation right now. Maybe I can stop wearing shorts and t-shirts to work to help deal with the deep freeze, but then that wouldn't be Dave Z. I'm actually thinking about wearing pants to work tomorrow, which would be the first time I've worn something other than shorts outside in a non-party or bar situation in over a year.

I feel like... --
...less of a geek after experiencing some of the crowd at The Two Towers this afternoon. Sure, I like a lot of the same kind of stuff -- same movies, play videogames, etc. -- but I'm nowhere near as crazy in the head as a lot of these weirdo's. 

I love the '80s! --
Very good special playing on VH1 all week, especially if you actually grew up in the '80s. I like it, at least. I also like Kristin Kreuk because she's HOT. I don't so much like that ugly ass chick that looks like some mutated offspring of Celine Dion and Ana Gasteyer from SNL that show up on the WB immediately after Smallville is over. She's honestly scares the shit out of me. Luckily, I was able to get her out of my mind quickly be switching the channel to Comedy Central where I got to see Juggy Vanessa Kay in a wet t-shirt. Yummy. 

More than 60 lbs in 12 weeks --
I didn't drop any weight this past week, so my overall loss stands at a little more than 60 lbs for the first 12 week cycle of the Body-for-LIFE program, as I weighed in this morning at 325.0 lbs.  I'm not worrying too much about the fact that I didn't drop any additional pounds this last week because I didn't go off the diet any and I worked out as hard as ever. It just didn't come off, or I somehow added as much muscle as I lost fat.

If I did anything wrong, I might have erred in not eating as much as I'm supposed to because I was barely eating three meals a day for the last four days of the week -- and the portion sizes weren't any larger than normal. A typical day would include two of the shakes and a slice of turkey on a slice of whole wheat bread for my only real meal. 

The illness that kept me home from work last Tuesday also took away a lot of my energy and appetite for the last half of the week. I'm guess this had something to do with the weight staying on because I was gaining weight in the days that followed it and I was only taking in less than 500 calories each day.

I'm actually planning on taking this week off. Well, kind of. I plan to stick with the same diet, but I'm going to take a little break from the workouts. My joints have been hurting me and ever since I got sick last week, the workouts have been making me more tired the rest of the day, which is the opposite effect that it would normally give me. 

I figure it could help me get geared up for another strong 12 week cycle, which I plan to start on Monday, December 23, 2002. This would mean that March 17, 2002 would mark the end of this second 12 week cycle and my goal for that day is...drum roll please...to weigh in at less than 280 lbs, which would mean an overall loss of more than 100 lbs. Wish me luck!

First-ever second time winner --
It has been my intention to do a completely new Babe of the Week each week because there are SO many hotties out there that deserve the honor, but after seeing some new pictures of this one particular babe that's being featured in the newest issue of Maxim, I just couldn't deny her the honor of getting named Babe of the Week for a second time. Wow, that's a pretty long sentence. I could've broken it up a little if I actually cared. 

Ever forget to breath? --
Well, I seemingly did. On the way home from work this afternoon, I was just half-passed out and day dreaming like I typically am when I'm driving when all of a sudden I had to gasp for a big breath. I guess my body had forgotten to breath for a while because I kind of felt like someone coming out of the water after being under for way too long. Even though I could, I'm not going to use this near-death experience to keep me from updating the "Dear Dave" section today. It's been too long and it gets harder the more I wait. Hey, it's a sentence with long and harder in it and it has nothing at all to do with a penis, I think I'm losing it.

The rain sucks ass --
My commute to work, which normally takes only about 35-45 minutes depending on the time of day, took almost an hour and 45 minutes today. Why? Well, it was raining. No, there weren't any accidents. People just can't drive more than 25 MPH around here when it's raining and they forget how to change lanes. Road rage. Too pissed off to do a real update. Tomorrow...maybe. 

Lotsa new games --
Got a bunch of new games for the Dreamcast, PS2 and Xbox today. Paid maybe $40 total for all of them, so don't go worrying about me an my debt. I got Virtua Tennis, Tennis 2K2, and Crazy Taxi 2 for the Dreamcast and NBA Live 2003 for PS2 and Buffy The Vampire Slayer for Xbox. 

Mail...maybe tomorrow --
My email is really backed up, so much that I didn't have the desire to update "Dear Dave" today because it seemed like such a daunting task. Maybe tomorrow. It'll all really depend on just how I feel because I'm still a bit on the sick side and have been in veg-out mode for the last couple of days. I'm pretty much using all my energy just to do my morning workout and I'm wasted the rest of the day. Maybe I'll get lucky in my dream tonight, that always helps out a bit.

Not-so-Babe of the Week --
I'm not really sure that this week's Babe of the Week would even be considered a babe by the majority of the people that have taken a look at her. However, that's not stopping me from giving her this prestigious honor that only befalls on the most spank-worthy of the fairer sex, even though I, myself, have yet to spank it in her honor. 

In fact, it's quite possible that I may never rub myself rotten while she's dancing around naked in my mind. Nevertheless, she's my new Babe of the Week and you can go ahead and call me crazy for giving her this award.

New NES games and some NHL 2K3 love --
Got five new games for the NES today, including Contra, Bionic Commando, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turltes and Excitebike, bringing my collection up to 27 classic titles and counting. 

I also was able to get a copy of our Xbox version of NHL 2K3, which is pretty fucking tight, if you ask me. I might even go as far to say that's it's the best of the Sega Sports titles from Visual Concepts. Regretfully, I had no part in making it (that might just explain why it's so good). 

No babe for you! --
You can call me the babe Nazi now because I've got no Babe of the Week for you today. Just not feeling all that well and even called in sick to work. My whole "morning sickness" theory doesn't fly anymore because this has lasted all day and I'm still feeling a bit ill now and it's about 10:15 PM. 

My new theory is that I somehow contracted some sort of disease from Christina Aguilera last night since I slept with her in my dream. I know what you're thinking...you can't get a disease from someone you have sex with in a dream. But they always say that if you die in your dream, you'll die in real life. So, if they are to be believed, wouldn't it be also true that if you bang some skanky whore in your dream that you just might catch some kind of a virus from her? I think so and my current illness is proof. 

Otherwise, what could explain it? The only other possibility is that the two-week old turkey that I ate Monday that was leftover from Thanksgiving was bad, but that just wouldn't make any sense. It was in the fridge and if it's in the fridge it can last forever. I'm sure that the salsa that's sitting in the back corner of the fridge is fine, too. If it wasn't, all that bacteria all over it would not be able to survive on it. My getting some whore disease from XXX-Tina while screwing her in my dream seems so much more logical and realistic. Therefore, it must be true.

Anyway, I should have the new Babe of the Week for you tomorrow. I would say that it'll "be worth the wait", but I'm not so sure that it will be. This week's babe probably isn't considered a "babe" in most people's minds. But, hey, she does something for me even though I don't really know what it is she's doing. Don't worry, though, it's not Janet Reno and not me with a wig and whipped cream covering my man jugs. I promise.

More goodies from eBay --
A few more of my recent eBay purchases arrived today, including McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure and Castlevania Bloodlines for the Sega Genesis and Metroid and Final Fantasy for the NES. 

The Final Week --
I guess it's not really the final week because I plan to keep on doing Body-for-LIFE, but this still marks the final week of the first 12-week cycle of the program. My morning weight today was 325.0 lbs, which is a drop of 6 lbs from last week and drop of a little more than 60 lbs since this whole thing began. I'm already under my 330 lbs goal for the 12 weeks, so I'm doing well and don't really see any huge roadblocks that should keep me from continuing to drop the excess body fat I've been carrying. That is, unless of course Jessica Alba calls me up and says that she'll marry me if I stay fat.

I hate AWDs --
The worst part about driving to work every day is that my life is often put in jeopardy by AWDs. Today, for instance, this AWD seemingly tried to hit me. It wasn't even a case of the AWD cutting me off or not seeing me because I was in the blind spot, it was just a case of moronic driving because I was directly to the side and slightly in front of the car in question. The AWD just ignored the fact that I was there and tried going into my lane.

You could argue that it was actually my fault because I should have seen it coming. The car had a bunch of stuffed animals lined up in its rear window and had some Hello Kitty stickers plastered all over its side passenger window. These should've alerted to me to the fact that there was an AWD on board and that I should've had the sense to pull off to the side of the road and let it have its space.

I can just imagine what was going through the AWDs head as it was about to crash into me. "I need to move into the right lane because this lane is ugly, so I better look to the right to see if anyone's there. Hey, it's Hello Kitty! I love Hello Kitty! Hello Kitty is sooo cuuute! Oh no! I'm about to hit a car! Whew! That was close. If had hit that car that magically appeared out of nowhere, my stuffed animal collection would've been knocked off of my back window and I would've had to pick them all up!"

Just another manic Sunday --
Wish it were Saturday. Okay, the song just doesn't work out as nicely with my lyrics and especially my voice. Luckily, you can't hear me singing. Anyway, I'm feeling very bored and lazy today. I think it's a side effect of a big Miami Hurricane win yesterday and the lack of a Miami Dolphin game to watch today. Whatever. I was so bored that I went in to work and ran for 20 minutes on the treadmill and then came back home and did my laundry for the week. I had wanted to do "Dear Dave" today, but I'll save it for Tuesday. 

Gotta respect them Hokies --
I don't even know what the hell a Hokie is, but I have the utmost respect for the players on the Virginia Tech football team. For all intents and purposes, Miami dominated today's football game. But VTech never gave up and kept the game close and my teeth grinding and my hands and feet sweating until the final minute. 

Both McGahee and Dorsey played phenomenal games, but I think Willis' 6 TDs could vault him over Ken in the mind of many voters. However, if you watched the game, you'd know that if Miami would've just threw the ball more, he could've easily finished with 600+ yards and 6 TDs for himself. Regardless, if I had a vote right now, I'd still give it to McGahee. No disrespect to Palmer, Leftwich, Johnson, Banks or Dorsey, but I really think he's the most dominant player in the sport right now and has put up some respectable numbers to boot. 

Here are stats for Miami's dynamic duo (they have a Manning-James-Harrison or Aikman-Smith-Irvin like trio when you put Andre Johnson into the picture):

Willis McGahee 262 ATT, 1686 YDS, 6.4 AVG, 27 TDs
Ken Dorsey 194-350, 55.4%, 3067 YDS, 26 TDs, 10 INTs

Here are the numbers for the other big Heisman candidates:

Brad Banks 155-258, 60.1%, 2369 YDS, 25 TDs, 4 INTs (387 yards rushing and 5 TDs)
Larry Johnson 251 ATT, 2015 YDS, 8.0 AVG, 20 TDs
Carson Palmer 288-458, 62.9%, 3639 YDS, 32 TDs, 10 INTs
Byron Leftwich 309-447, 69.1%, 4017 YDS, 26 TDs, 9 INTs

Johnson's stats are better looking with the 2,000+ yards and 8.0 per carry average, but I'd like to point out (as I did in the recent "Dear Dave") that he's done it against weaker rush defenses. Johnson has only played 3 teams with rush defenses ranked in the top 50 and has only averaged 71 yards per game and less than 4 yards per carry against them. Meanwhile, McGahee has faced 6 (was 5 before today's game) teams with run defenses ranked in the top 50 and has averaged 144 yards per game and 5.1 yards per carry against them. Anyway, a case can really be made for ANY of the six players above. 

All that doesn't really matter all that much because what's most important is that Miami is now officially in the Fiesta Bowl and will have a chance to win back-to-back National Championships and their 6th National Championship in the past 20 years. If I have my way, I'll be there in Arizona to see it. It matters much more to me than who wins the Heisman and is more important to me than any other sports championship. 

Cuties at the mall --
Noticed that there was an abnormally high number of cuties at the Mall at Northgate this afternoon. Better yet, even a few of them could've passed for being 18. That pretty much sums up my day, by the way. Not much to write about. 

The only other significant event of the evening was finding about a gig and a half of porn in an old Gravity folder that I completely forgot about. As with much of my newsgroup porn, most of it was worthless and many of it was just plain sick. Also, either I was just really shitty at finding hot porn chicks five years ago or the quality of amateur porn stars has gotten a whole LOT better these days. 

There were some very average looking chicks in that old stash that I remember going crazy about before. My newer porn contains a shit load of chicks that are flat out gorgeous. The majority of these old photos (most of which I deleted) had girls that were pretty average at best, with a much smaller percentage of ones that I'd say looked great. I guess we all should be thankful for a society that's so much more open to pornography that the hotties are doing it more than they did in the past.

Biggest. Update. Ever --
I'm pretty sure that this "Dear Dave" update is the biggest one I've done to date. It's only been four days since the previous update, but the letters seemed to pile up pretty quickly. Check it out and send me more email. Getting email makes me feel good (even though my Outlook doesn't tell me "You've Got Mail!") and I like feeling good. It also makes for updates to this site that are a little more interesting than, "Hey guys, I bought some more crappy DVDs!". 

More crappy movies --
Purchased another four DVDs for my collection today, none of which are probably any good. The new movies are New Best Friend starring Mia Kirshner and Dominique Swain, American Psycho 2 starring Mila Kunis, Scarlet Diva starring Asia Argento and Big Fat Liar starring a couple of bratty kids. Not really all that sure why I bought any of them -- well hot chicks are in a few of them -- but it did give me something easy to update with. I'm feeling a bit under the weather and am really tired or else I would've updated with new mail or something more interesting. Maybe tomorrow. 

College co-ed or porn star? --
I guess there's not really a difference these days. I discovered this week's Babe of the Week -- Miss Taylor Rain -- while searching the World Wide Web for information on where I could donate money to help with the pediatric AIDS epidemic. Damn search engines always seem to send you to the wrong places...

Anyway, I was so inspired by this girl's beauty that I took the money that I was planning on donating to charity and instead registered for a month's access to the porn site she was featured on. A couple of spank-filled nights and several pounds of holiday goo later, I decided she was worthy of being named my Babe of the Week. Only if everything else in life could be this damn easy. 

Eight crazy new DVDs --
Not only did I pick up three new flicks from Suncoast Video today -- Monster's Inc, Lilo & Stitch, and Austin Powers in Goldmember -- but I also finally received the first DVD shipment for my latest Columbia House DVD Club membership.  

As a result, in addition to those three new vids, my collection now includes Donnie Darko, Ronin, Leon The Professional, Mallrats Collector's Edition, and Scary Movie. I now own a whopping 175 DVD movies. Yet, somehow, I'm still bored and don't have any games I want to play or movies that I want to watch. Funny how all that works out. Maybe Kristin Kreuk will look hot tonight on Smallville and save my night...

New games, some classic --
Picked up a bunch of older games for the NES, SNES, PlayStation and Dreamcast today from Electronics Boutique and good old eBay. I now own (again, in some cases) Castlevania and Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse for NES, Contra III: The Alien Wars for SNES, Jarrett & Labonte Stock Car Racing for PlayStation and NFL 2K1 and Virtual-On: Ontario Tangram for Dreamcast.

Got on an old-school kick recently, so Sam and I have been blowing on carts, jiggling them a bit and putting effort into just getting the games to WORK. You kids have it lucky today. You put in a game...and it works. Back in the old days, we had to actually get these damn things to play before we could even play them. We also had to wear funny glasses to get 3D...

Can't do any wrong --
After waking up the day after Thanksgiving weighing about 9 lbs more than the morning before, you'd think that I'd be off track on my little weight loss plan. Thankfully, that's not the case. I weighed in at a mere 331.0 lbs this morning, meaning that I lost about 6.5 lbs during the week of Turkey Day. Not too bad considering just how much I stuffed myself on that glorious day. The grand total number of pounds I've misplaced since starting this program is now at approximately 55.5 and I'm now in-between the 3rd and 4th notches on the belt that I had once grew completely out of. 

It seems as if the extra masturbation I put in this weekend is paying off huge dividends. I owe a lot of the inspiration to the forthcoming Babe of the Week, who will be unveiled tomorrow night. I just discovered her this weekend and she stimulated many marathon spank sessions over the course of the past two evenings that I'm positive helped me burn off a few of those extra Thanksgiving calories. Either that, or my newfound heroin addiction is finally generating some positive side effects. I don't really know, but I figure I better keep on doing what I've been doing because it's all working out impressively well for me. 

Less games, more games --
Got rid of another two PlayStation 2 games, bringing that collection down to 98 titles, but used the trade-in credit to help me pick up Splinter Cell for Xbox and Wipeout XL for PlayStation. Considering that the PS2 titles that I gave up on were The Simpsons Road Rage and RC Revenge Pro, I think that it's safe to say that my videogame collection improved on the whole. Still can't find the nerve to part with Portal Runner for some reason, though. 

The long weekend is almost over --
It's been a good one, but as they always say, all good things eventually must come to an end. I fucking hate them because they always have to say something negative to ruin a good thing. Anyway, I figured I'd end this weekend with a solid update to my "Dear Dave" section. A wide variety subjects are covered and a new band is introduced. 

...not all that good anymore --
Well, it was a good weekend. Then the Dolphins had to play a game and basically give it away to the Bills. Sure, Drew, Eric, Peerless and Travis earned a lot of it, but the blowout would've been the other way around if not for the Dolphins' fantastic trio of Ray, Jay and Randy. 

Ray's stupid fumble before half-time, Jay's poor excuse for a thrown ball, and Randy's fumble when he stretched out for a first (even though he was five yards shy), led to 21 of those scores for the Bills. If this happened in my videogame franchise, I would immediately trade or cut all three of those players. Then again, I probably would've gotten rid of Jay and Ray well before I got this deep into the season.