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Welcome to the first annual Dave Z's "Best of" Awards. These awards will be given to the games, movies and babes that I thought were the best of the best in the 2002 calendar year. In order for a game, movie or babe to qualify, it just needed to be played, watched or masturbated to by me -- meaning that there are more than 50 games, 100 movies and 4,291 babes that are award-eligible. Well, enough with the fluff. Below, you'll find the name of the award, a brief explanation of why I gave it to what I gave it to and the name of the winner.
When it comes right down to it, this was easily one of most pleasurable games I played all year and tops on the PlayStation 2 despite all of its dubious flaws. The well-presented story, the wide-open gameplay and the unbelievable good '80s soundtrack just made it one of the must-experience games of the past year. Honestly, how can you not love a game that lets you listen to music from the likes of Judas Priest, Ozzy Osborne, Flock of Seagulls, Blondie, Cool and the Gang, Hall and Oates, Cutting Crew, and Grandmaster Flash. Winner -- Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
You won't find many people complain about Splinter Cell not being deep or complex enough because it scores top marks in both of those categories. It relies even more on stealth and strategy than the likes of Konami's Metal Gear Solid 2, even though I'm not quite sure yet which one I'd choose between the two of I were forced to make such a choice (hopefully, I'll never encounter some lifeless prick that's such a loser that he'd put a gun to my head demanding to know which one I think is better). The bottom line is that both are phenomenal games and Splinter Cell is a must-own game if you happen to have one of Microsoft's massive black boxes sitting in your entertainment system. And if you don't own one yet, it's about time that you should consider picking one up because its library is already pretty damn strong. Winner -- Splinter Cell
I don't have much more to say...or do I? Hmm, why am I being mysterious? Better yet, why the hell am I talking to myself out loud while I'm typing this? Am I one of those idiots you see on TV or in movies speaking what they're typing just so the viewers watching it know what they're doing? I don't think I can be because I'm not using a Mac and I don't have some fancy email program or operating system that have all this fancy shit floating around in the background. Anyway, I'm shutting up now before someone has be committed. Winner -- Metroid Prime
In my honest opinion, the best sports game that I played all year is Sega Sports' NHL 2K3 for Xbox and PlayStation 2. Since I've only played about 25 full games of it, I don't think I'm yet ready to jump on the "best hockey game ever" bandwagon that a LOT of other editors and gamers I know are already on, but I definitely wouldn't argue against their high compliments and heartfelt praise. The gameplay in this title is what the kids like to call beyond "tight". In fact, I'd venture to say that NHL 2K3's gameplay is to tight what Christina Aguilera's pussy is to loose. In fact, the only hockey games I've played in the past that I've enjoyed as much were NHL '94 for Genesis, NHL Powerplay '96 for Saturn, and NHL '98 for PSX. This one might even be better than those when all is said and done. My only significant complaint about the game is that it doesn't look as pretty as its main competitor and that really doesn't matter much to me considering I've been playing as many 8- and 16-bit games these past few months as the newer and infinitely prettier ones that are in my library. Winner -- NHL 2K3 (Xbox/PS2)
This game pretty much IS Super Metroid in 3D and that is something that I never believed was possible to accomplish. My eternal gratitude and thanks go out to the developers who made this game at Retro Studios, as they have managed to produce a masterpiece that may eventually hold a spot among my personal favorite games of all time. For now, it'll have settle with being my favorite videogame of 2002. Winner -- Metroid Prime (GameCube)
By weight alone, it would've kicked the crap out of my copies of Spider-Man and Attack of the Clones. The one title that almost stole this award from it was Paranoid starring Jessica Alba, but it lost out in the end because it didn't even have a simple DVD menu and despite all the constant teasing, it never showed off Alba's beautiful breasts. With The Two Towers, it was easily the best movie I watched at the theaters in the past year...and the performance by Gollum is deserving of an Academy Award this man's opinion. Britney Spears' Crossroads was a honorable mention in both the DVD and movie categories since both were released in 2002, but isn't getting the award because it should've been a hardcore porno...starring either myself, Ron Jeremy, or both of us.
Her move from All-American girl-next-door to dirrty-skanky-slut really turned me off at first, but the countless revealing photos in magazines like Rolling Stone, Maxim and Blender, her instant-erection-causing nipple ring that was viewable through many of the nearly see-through shirts she would wear, and her raw and unadulterated sexiness just won me over and completely captivated me for most of the last half of 2002. It also doesn't hurt that she now seems dirrty and skanky enough to actually screw a guy like me. I doubt her riding a fatty like myself is one of your sexual fantasies, but it sure is one of mine. I'm hoping that it actually comes true in 2003 and if I happen to ever find myself at the same party she's at, I guarantee that I'd somehow manage to hit it. Winner -- Christina Aguilera
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Best
PlayStation 2 Game of 2002:
Best Xbox Game of 2002:
Best GameCube Game of 2002:
Best Sports Game of 2002:
Best DVD of 2002: Lord of the Rings: The
Fellowship of the Ring
Best
Babe of 2002: 