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"I never had consensual sex without money involved."

- Carl, ATHF

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

My really f'n hot friends --
As you probably read already, a couple of my gorgeous friends were in San Francisco a couple of weeks back. Sarah, who I had yet to meet in person previously and has a Babe of the Week feature in her future, was in town for a week on vacation with her two brothers and her sister. Elle, who I first met in person back in LA with Jordanna & Avital and was recently featured as my Babe of the Week, was in town just for a few days to hang out with Sarah and myself.

Anyway, we had a great time. While we didn't do anything particularly noteworthy, I had a blast being around and just hanging out with the two girls, as well as Sarah's siblings. Seriously, though, what straight guy wouldn't have a good time just being in the presence of two such attractive young ladies that have personalities that may even surpass their model good looks? If you can think of any, they're probably just in the closet.

Well, the reason I bring this up again is that I've finally gotten around to putting up the pictures taken while the two young ladies were out here. I've weeded out the ones that they didn't want online, so you're only getting like 88 of the hundreds that were taken. Just please keep in mind that neither girl really spent much time prettying up, so they're not necessarily looking their best. Well, that's what they kept saying, I thought they looked stunning even without makeup and very little to no sleep. I don't really think the pictures do either of them justice even though they still look great in them. Enough with the babble, just go ahead and do yourself a favor and check out the photos now.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Yes, please.

America's sexiest bartendar --
So, umm, after seeing the gorgeous Kara Monaco as one of Playboy's contestants for America's Sexiest Bartendar and finding out that she worked at Chillers / Antigua in Orlando, I was hoping to get a chane to meet her on my vacation last year. However, I guess I completely forgot about it at the time or just assume she stopped working the bars after Playboy, because it never crossed my mind while I was out there. Okay, maybe I was just so drunk for those 10 days that I couldn't remember a damn thing anyway.

The point is that in putting her up as my Babe of the Week it hit me that I might have actually met this girl and had drinks served by her. And in looking back at my Orlando photos from last year, specifically the group titled Chillers, Antigua, Etc., in Orlando (11/03/04), I noticed what appears to be the lovely Kara Monaco -- Playboy's America's Sexiest Bartendar for 2004 and June 2005 Playboy Playmate of the Month.

So, umm, yeah, this fine as hottie served me some alcohol and little did I know at the time, I had actually seen her nude before this! I guess it's a good thing because if I had known at the time, I probably would've started tipping her $100 bills thinking it might help out and when I found out that it wasn't working, I probably would've jumped over the counter and starter trying to have sex with her right then and there. It probably wouldn't have been a good thing. Here's a side-by-side picture comparison of one of her Playboy shots and the photo I took while in Orlando last year. I'm pretty sure it's her.

The sad thing is that there's no chance in hell that this girl is still working there this time so I won't be seeing her during my forthcoming 17 day Florida vacation. I will, undoubtedly, see a LOT of other hotties working the bars and getting drunk in the bars while my adventures take me through Orlando again, plus Tally, Miami and Ft. Lauderdale. Maybe I will see another future Playmate of the Month this time, as well. Wish me luck!

Friday, August 26, 2005

Gettin' my tan on --
I've always mocked those that would get tans before going somewhere on vacation but after seeing the glow of my ghostly white legs in the sun this past weekend, I figured it made some sense after all. As a result of this revelation, I've decided to hit up Pacific Tan in Corte Madera daily through next Friday in preperation for my Florida invasion that begins on Saturday, September 3rd and lasts until Monday, September 19th.

It should be quick and painless because I'm pimping it and doing the whatever 800 that's got minimal damaging rays and has a max time of 12 minutes. They had me in for only 7 today so I wouldn't burn, which apparently would've set me back a few days. Oh, and, there were plenty of hot bitches there and, as you know, I'm a fan of the hot bitches.

PS - I've also tossed together an update to "Dear Dave". If you want to find out what's inside, just click the stupid link. I'm way too lazy right now to write up a summary of the topics.

More CDs up for sale --
Alright, so I have a new batch of CDs for sale up on eBay for you peeps to buy if you want me to have enough money to buy condoms for my FL vacation. If you don't, I fully expect you all to feel bad about the herpes, HIV, and other STDs that I'll be passing along to college girls at FSU and UCF, as well as randoms in Miami. So, yeah, buy my shit! Here are the CDs I'm selling:

U2 - The Best Of 1980-1990
Backstreet Boys - Greatest Hits Chapter One
Aerosmith - Big Ones
Avril Lavigne - Under My Skin
Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway
Garden State Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Spice Girls - Spice
John Mellencamp - John Mellencamp's Greatest Hits
Audioslave - Out of Exile
Sum 41 - Chunk

I've put these each up as 3-day auctions so I can get the shit done before I'm off to sunny Florida -- maybe I'll be lucky enough to get a hurricane or two while I'm out there!!!

Coming soon! --
I'm hoping to get around to putting up pics from last week that I was able to take while hanging with my extremely gorgeous friends Elle & Sarah. As you SHOULD know, if you've been reading this site at all, Elle was my Babe of the Week a couple weeks ago and I'm hoping to give Sarah her day in the sun at a future date. She's actually heading to some open call for a modeling agency, so maybe she'll be discovered and we'll all be able to see her on magazine covers before too long.

Brian Santos --
Here's a little shout out love for the "fan" that said hey to me at Mel's while I was dining with the lovely ladies last Friday afternoon. The guy's name is Brian (it's what I thought, but wasn't 100% positive) and here's the photo his girl took of us two:

And, holy crap, did I ever look like a freaking retard with that huge ass shit grin. I guess I was even more excited about him approaching me as a "fan of the site" than he was at meeting me. Well, I guess we both have huge shit grins on our faces, it's just mine's the one that looks fuckin' ridiculous. Oh, well, if anyone else ever sees me around, I'm more than willing to say hey, pose for photos, or have sex with your girlfriend (or you, if you happen to be a lady). Just holler @ me!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

All girls like to take it up the...

Mean Girls --
I actually took last week off on purpose because I wanted my buddy Elle to have a full two weeks up as Babe of the Week instead of just the one. Seeing that this is my site and all, I have that power. I don't abuse it often, but I do like to take advantage of being "the man" every now and then. Plus, I was excited that both her and a future Babe of the Week, Sarah, were gonna be in town so I figured why not.

To replace her, I've decided to put up Mean Girls' Rachel McAdams just because she's a hottie and I honestly couldn't think of anyone else to put up right this second. It's not that she's not worthy, because by all accounts she is, it's just that I was having a serious brain fart when trying to figure out who to post up next. She won the little battle in my brain.

Email me the photo! --
Okay, so this past Friday afternoon I decided to take Sarah and Elle to breakfast over at the Mel's Drive-In next to the Sony Metreon downtown. Well, towards the end of the breakfast/lunch, a "fan" asked if I was me and went off on how excited he was to meet me and all. It was easily the highlight of my day and was made especially cool by the comment he made where he said, "Wow, it is true. You really do roll with hot girls!" in reference to Sarah and Elle.

Anyway, it was a thrill for this to happen and if you're out there reading this, please send me an email with the picture you took. I'd love to post it on the website. Also, to anyone else that sees me or thinks you see me, just freaking come up to me and ask. People do it a lot and I don't mind at all. In fact, I'd rather be bothered by it than get an email a week or so later from someone that saw me but was too afraid to say "hi". I, promise, I won't bite unless you really want me to.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

CDs for Sale! --
In continuation of my buy-rip-sell policy with regards to music CDs, I've got a new batch of seven discs that I'm putting up for auction now that I've gotten around to ripping them to my hard drive and dumping them onto my iPod. As it's been working so far, I've been just paying an average of $2 per CD when all is said and done, which is a lot cheaper than if I'd just pay for the MP3s on iTunes or Napster. It's not quite as cheap as finding them for free, obviously, but that's too much of a hassle for me nowadays. Anyway, here's the latest seven CDs that you can buy off of me (hell, feel free to rip them and then sell them yourself):

Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
Kanye West - The College Dropout
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Fever To Tell
Simple Plan - Still Not Getting Any
Jimmy Eat World - Jimmy Eat World
The All-American Rejects - Move Along
Dane Cook - Retaliation

I have about 10 more CDs that I'll be putting up over the course of the next week. I paid an average of $8.33 for each of these 17 CDs, so I'm hoping to get at least $6 a piece for them on eBay to stay inline with my $2 total cost per disc that I've been averaging. Wish me luck and bid if you're interested! You can always go the same route and maybe even come out better since you'll be buying and selling used instead of buying new and selling used.

Tires, tires, tires... --
I've had the car for less than a year, but because I've been slack about tire rotations and getting the alignment fixed, I just had to replace all four tires at a total cost of $699. It would've been worse if I had gone with the same tires as the ones that were on the car because those were about $150 more per tire. I figure'd that I'd be better off just paying $699 instead of $1399 even if my new tires are only "W" rated. It's not like I drive 150+ miles per hour that much anyway.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Missing Melinda --
I guess I was so stoked about featuring my BFF, Elle Burdi, as my Babe of the Week that I totally forgot to archive and link to last week's featured beauty, The Real World's Melinda Stolp. Oops, my bad! Anyway, hit that link to check out her feature which includes some slutty club photos including one where she reveals her titties.

Sunday, August 7, 2005

Word @ me being at this photoshoot.

Elle Oh Elle --
I'm supposed to wait until Monday to post a new Babe of the Week, however I decided to update a day early because this week's featured model is very special to me. Not only is Elle Burdi an extremely attractive young woman, but she is also a very good friend. In fact, she's one of my best friends and my favorite Babe of the Week that I've ever put up on this site.

She turns 21 in exactly seven days, will be visiting me here in SF shortly thereafter, and will be one of many friends I get to party with over in Florida during my two week stay out that way in September. I'm going to get to see the 'Canes play FSU, see Colplay in West Palm Beach, possibly watch the Dolphins take on the Broncos, and hang out with good friends like Elle, as well as Brandon, Jordanna, Jackie (Elle's little bitch sister), Riana (my lil sis) and tons more. Life's pretty fuckin' good for me.

Dan "The Man" --
It's kind of befitting that I put up Elle's Babe of the Week pictorial up now because today's also the day that my favorite athlete of all time, Dan Marino, is being inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. This means that two of my all-time "faves" are getting honored today -- one on this website and the other in Canton, Ohio.

Making it all even more befitting is the fact that Marino is also Elle's favorite football player of all time, as well. I think this might be the real reason that I think she's so cool in my eyes. Anybody that likes Dapper Dan as much as I do, gets extra cool points from me and is automatically a good person. Hell, how could you not like Dan? He's the greatest quarterback to ever play the game.

Yeah, and don't pull that ring bullshit with me. Winning The Ring is the most overrated individual accomplishment in team sports. Brad Johnson, Trent Dilfer, Mark Rypien, and Jeff Hostetler have all quarterbacked teams to Super Bowl victories and all four of them combined can't hold Dan's jock as an NFL QB. They won rings because their teams were the best that year not because they were. Yes, the quarterback might be the most important indivual position on the team, but no QB can win a Super Bowl without a great team around them.

Even though there isn't any way to prove this, I'd be willing to bet that if you could put Marino in his prime on any of the Super Bowl championship teams that the teams would not only still have won but would have been better with him than with who they had. John Elway wouldn't have won his two rings if he didn't have Terrell Davis helping him out. It's a lot easier for a QB to be a winner when he has a back like T.D. rushing for 2008 yards and 21 TDs with a 5.1 yards per carry average than one like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar running for 960 yards and 6 TDs with a 3.6 yard per carry average.

It doesn't hurt a QB to have a great defense backing him up, either, as was the case with just about every Super Bowl winner. Not a single one of the 39 Super Bowl winning teams had what you'd describe as a bad defense. Even the teams that were better known for their offense, had solid defenses to back them up. They weren't always the best in the business, but they were never bad. Marino played on a lot of teams with HORRIBLE defenses and later in his career when he played with some very good defenses, he was handcuffed by conservative gameplans that put too much of a focus on forcing the run even when they didn't have the backs or the offensive line to try and do so.

Anyway, there's nothing that anyone could tell me that would change my mind about Dan being at least one of the greatest QBs of all time if not the greatest. 4,967 completions, 61,361 yards, 420 TDs and 147 regular season victories -- the second most wins in the history of the NFL as a starting QB and a career winning percentage of 61.25. His 37 fourth quarter comebacks are the second most of all time and his 50 fourth quarter winning scoring drives are the most of all time. The bottom line is that Dan Marino is a Hall of Fame quaterback and my favorite athlete of all time -- edging out Larry Bird and Cal Ripken.

Saturday, August 6, 2005

A little bit of me in every bite --
Does wearing Victoria's Secret body lotion make me gay? I'll say "no". I just like the way this shit smells and it's not like I'm sliding my sausage in another man's ass or letting him violate mine. Anyway, I've thrown together a smallish update to "Dear Dave" that includes the following subjects: Collaborate & Listen, Babes of Wedding Crashers, Carlos Mencia, San Jose Booty, Elle's BotW appearance, and Reeding is Fundementel! Yep, it's a rather smallish one, as I just said.

Wednesday, August 3, 2005

Party photos from July --
I've finally gotten around to uploading all of the photos I've snapped over the course of the past four weeks while partying completely sober. I guess I don't take as many pictures sober as I do when I'm drunk because there are only 72 images from about eight nights out at clubs -- many of which saw me not even take out my camera once. You'll see that I still manage to act the fool some while not intoxicated, though I really have to be in the right mood before going out in order to have fun. It also seems that the mood is helped a lot when my crazy party buddies, May & Carlee, make it out because I've not yet had a bad time when those two are out with us and the nights that were the biggest wastes of my time were when they weren't out.

Monday, August 1, 2005

Lovin' them big ole bitties.

The Real World: Austin's Melinda Stolp! --
I couldn't wait to see if she'd actually pose for Playboy or not so I decided to go ahead and name Melinda Stolp from MTV's The Real World: Austin, which is airing now, as my newest Babe of the Week. She's fine enough where I don't mind that she has clothes on and there's some pretty slutty photos of her already out there, which you'll see inside, if the ones emailed to me by Mr. Testerman are all legit.

Old people are out to get me --
I have no real proof that old people have united to end my life, but it sure as hell seems like it these days. I think some senior citizen groups must have read my website bitching about how useless old farts can be and have set in motion a plan to try and rid the world of my wisdom and plain old common sense.

For instance, just this morning on the way to work no less than three different old people seemed to be trying to run me off the road. Their driving was just so insanely bad that there's no way that it couldn't have been a simple accident. If not for my elite Gran Turismo-enhanced driving skills and cheetah like quickness, I would've gotten in three different accidents today.

In each, and I'm not even exaggerating about this, I had to make some pretty intense maneuvers to avoid getting hit by old people that appeared to not even realize that they were about to crash into me. My theory is that they did in fact know and were actually trying to kill me because of all the hate I direct towards them. Don't worry, though, I'm onto their plans and won't be letting them kill me anytime soon.