For those that have known me for a while, you likely already know that my all-time masturbation record is 36 times in a single 24-hour period. I did it back in my early teens when I was on some family trip to Cali and I was stuck in a hotel all day because it was raining like mad outside. That same weekend, I also found that it took 2,514 licks for me to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.

Anyway, I haven’t ever attempted to top that mark nor have I come close to it since. I average around 2-4 per day and on particularly horny and/or boring days I will often get up to 6-8. That is, until this past Saturday. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I woke up Saturday morning at 9AM and decided to see if I could rub 37 out before 9AM on Sunday.

By the time Noon arrived, I had reached climax about 8 times and I already knew that things were going to be difficult. First and foremost, most likely do to the years of constant practice, it’s no longer easy for me to spit in 120 seconds or less (I guess that’s a good thing). Back when the record was set, I could come to completion quickly and easily in a minute or two and was able to continue doing that until my count reached the 20s. That’s definitely not the case anymore.

By the time I got to my 8th attempt on Saturday, I had to rigorously stroke the lava tube non-stop for 20 freaking minutes before the volcano would burst. That is a tremendous amount of work. If you don’t believe me, go grab a ketchup bottle with a tight grip and try shaking it as fast and as hard as you can non-stop for 20 minutes. It’s tiresome.

Nevertheless, this didn’t stop me. While I was now quite sure that I couldn’t get to 37, let alone tie the mark at 36, I wasn’t about to give up. I kept trying whenever possible, always miraculously managing to stand completely at attention and rock solid, and did so despite the extreme lactic acid build up in both of my arms. In the end, I blew out 18 loads before going to bed at 2AM and promptly did another trio before 9AM after waking up at 7:30AM. While not nearly as impressive as the personal best of 36, the 21 successful beat downs is still quite impressive. I may give the Chase for 37 another shot at some point, but, if I do, I might try and prepare myself better by working out my arms in advance and maybe abstaining from sex or self-sex for 48-72 hours before the attempt. Whatever happens, I’ll keep you posted.