DaveZdyrko.com

For those that have known me for a while, you likely already know that my all-time masturbation record is 36 times in a single 24-hour period. I did it back in my early teens when I was on some family trip to Cali and I was stuck in a hotel all day because it was raining like mad outside. That same weekend, I also found that it took 2,514 licks for me to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.

Anyway, I haven’t ever attempted to top that mark nor have I come close to it since. I average around 2-4 per day and on particularly horny and/or boring days I will often get up to 6-8. That is, until this past Saturday. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I woke up Saturday morning at 9AM and decided to see if I could rub 37 out before 9AM on Sunday.

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For a fairly attractive girl, my latest Babe of the Week doesn’t have the prettiest of names. If one of my boys came up to me and told me he was dating a girl named Agnes Bruckner, the first thing I’d say would be some kind of a GILF joke. Let’s be honest here, hot girls just aren’t named Agnes. That name is more befitting your grandmother or great aunt. It’s not meant for a young piece of ass with a tight little body and nipples that are always seemingly saying “hello world! look at me!”

Nevertheless, Agnes Brucker is a hot young actress and despite her name she’s someone I’d gladly tell my friends I was dating or just banging on the side for fun. I just hope that she’ll eventually learn to take a hint from her pokies, which obviously want attention, to start doing nude scenes to show off all the goods.

Disney, a company obviously in the market of selling sex to the world, has already brought us fine young jailbait in the form of Miley Hannah Cyrus Montana and Selena Gomez (as well as many others in the past that have long since reached adulthood). However, there’s no sign of the whore train stopping anytime soon as there’s plenty more in Mickey’s stable. One such cutie is the singer, songwriter and actress Demi Lovato.

She sings, dances, acts and most likely whores around like everyone else her age or older. But, then again, maybe not. Who knows and who really cares? I know I don’t. All that matters is that she’s a cutie and she’s this week’s Babe of the Week.

I know my motto has always been “sleep is for the weak”, but damn I could use some quality shut eye right about now. I haven’t gotten more than four hours of consecutive sleep in more than three weeks and that combined with it still feeling like Winter is taking its toll on me.

This constantly feeling tired and down hasn’t managed to hurt my work production — had an extremely productive day at the office today after a solid early morning workout — but it’s salting my game. I got three numbers on St Patty’s Day and one this past Friday night from girls that I really wanted to call back but just haven’t been feeling up for it. It sucks because I tend to drink so much that I forget the names and faces usually and don’t call back as a result. I remember these girls and how hot they are but just don’t feel like doing much of anything.

I’d do just about anything to get a full eight hours of quality sleep right about now but there’s just no way it’s happening considering how late it already is and how it’s just impossible for me to sleep that long. Might have to try sleeping pills tomorrow night, but I’ll probably be too tired to remember to pick them up tomorrow after work. Either that or I’ll just lack the energy to head to the store even if I remember.

A few weeks ago while experiencing the nightly case of insomnia (sleep is for the weak!), I happened upon some movie on HBO called Survival Island. The movie was pretty crap, but it kept me interested based solely on the fact that its starring actress, Kelly Brook, was off the charts sexy.

This beautiful British babe has a very cute face and the most amazing breastissess that I’ve ever witnessed and she spent the entire movie either in some super skimpy bikini or naked. Two thumbs and a cock up from me.

The movie’s currently the only thing saved on my Tivo and it’s always stuck on the scene where she gets ravaged on the beach in a somewhat decent sex scene for a non pornographic movie. A quality Babe of the Week if there ever was one.

Major props to my old friend the Babe Ninja for letting me know about this ultra fine piece of ass, the lovely Jessica Burciaga. She has one of the cutest and prettiest faces ever and a body that matches it in its excellence. She’s just drop dead gorgeous and about a million flavors of sexy and is just exactly what I look for in a girl.

This babe is definitely “my type” and was a shoe-in for Babe of the Week the second I saw her first photo. Of course, I’ve been a slack ass since then and am a few weeks behind, but I’m sure you’ll get over it once you start getting your stroke on to her beautiful photos inside.

I know I haven’t updated much and am two weeks behind on updating Babe of the Week and I apologize. I’ve just been really busy with girls, playing Resident Evil, drinking alcohol, more girls, playing SOCOM, more drinking, catching up on Battlestar Gallactica, and more girls and drinking the liquor. It’s been a wonderfully hectic last few weeks but I promise two new Babe of the Week updates before the end of the weekend. Oh, by the way, my first St Patty’s Day in Beantown was beyond amazing and the pimp hand was in full effect. Lots of beer, lots of hugs, lots of kisses, lots of digits and lots of fun.

I’m not sure why exactly, but I’ve been thinking a lot about the NBA lately. I just started thinking about just how many great players are in the league right now. No disrespect towards Jordan, Magic, Bird, Isiah, Moses, the Mailman or Olajuwan or any of the legends from my youth, but we might be watching the greatest collection of NBA talent right now in the game’s history.

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Maybe it’s just my negativity with my sports teams, but I’m starting to think that the Miami Dolphins are headed to a last place finish in the AFC East this season. Maybe I should be a little more confident with the “trifecta” of Parcells, Ireland and Sporano, but I’ve always seen last seasons’ 11-5 record and playoff berth as a bit of an aberration that was a result of an easy schedule, Brady’s knee, and Favre’s INT-parade.

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American Idol is such a sausage fest this year and I can’t stand it. Might actually stop watching before the top 12 even starts, which is about four to six weeks earlier than I usually give up. My theory is that it’s because I’m guessing that 90% of the people that vote for this crap are women and thus the hot guys do well, as do the sob stories or the really likable characters. The really HOT girls never make it far. Sure, girls like Kelly Clarkson, Katherine McPhee and Carrie Underwood are pretty, but my guess is that they were able to get past the girl jealousy because they were a flawed beautiful. All three were chubby bitches most of the show and thus related to all the women voters. Case in point is how McPhee seemed to do much better in the earlier rounds when she was chubs and she eventually got knocked off once she slimmed down tremendously. Chick jealousy can be pretty intense and being able to use it to your advantage is often the only way ugly dudes like me can nail hotties. But, that’s a bit off topic. The point is that Idol is too much of a sausage fest for me this season because of this chick jealousy and I’m done.