After the Hurricanes’ debacle in San Fran last night, I had this feeling of impending doom about today’s Jets v Dolphins match-up. The one thing that started to give me hope earlier in the day was the fact that Drew Brees fell 16 yards short of breaking Dan Marino’s single-season passing yards record, despite the fact that Carolina almost GAVE it to him when they booted the kickoff out of bounds with just one second left on the clock. Luckily, Brees choked and threw it short on a wide open pass that would’ve got him one of Dan’s last major NFL records.

While that gave me a lot of hope, the way things were going early on in the Dolphins game had me nervous beyond belief. They were seemingly dominating the Jets, but kept making significant boneheaded mistakes. The Pennington fumble, the Ricky drop on what would’ve been a huge pass play, and the errant pass by Ronnie Brown that could’ve been a potential long TD. Throw in those and all the false starts and offsides and I was beginning to think it just wasn’t meant to be. Luckily, things started to come together. Favre started trying to put his interceptions record out of reach, and we held on to a euphoric 24-17 win.

To be quite frank, I don’t think we have any shot at all at making it to and winning the Super Bowl. We won’t likely make it out of the first round. However, after suffering through a 1-15 season last year, just making the playoffs is a huge victory for me. That said, it’s the playoffs and anything can happen. Maybe we surprise some folks, myself included, and we make a nice little run.

It’s official. Jacory Harris is my least favorite Miami Hurricane in the history of the football program. He’s been so hyped, people have been begging for him to get the start, and he finally got a big shot in tonight’s lame ass bowl game against Cal in San Francisco. He started the game off horribly, then showed some promise in the middle, and then absolutely choked down the stretch to hand the game to the weak ass Pac-10 team.

First, he fumbled inside his own god damn 5 yard line. Take care of the fucking ball you fucking moron! Just take the sack or throw it away, don’t run around with the ball loose like the world’s biggest moron. His idiotic fumble resulted in a Cal TD that gave them a 24-17 lead with 2 1/2 minutes left to play. So, he has a shot to make up for it, right? Well, yeah, except his idiotic play continued.

It began with our retarded offensive coordinator starting off with a straight run play, that netted us nothing and took some time off the clock. Then Jacory, dinked and dunked it 3 times to gain 9 yards and a first down while taking a minute and a half off the clock. Then the brainless wonder takes off running and instead of just stepping out of bounds like he had a clear shot to, he cuts it up field and takes off another 30+ seconds off the clock. He waisted 2 minutes just to gain about 15 yards. Pure genius. I hate him and blame his retarded ass for us losing to Cal.

EDIT: January 15, 2009 — Now that some time has passed, my hate for Jacory has faded. The truth is that it was a fairly meaningless bowl game that the team was expected to lose and, as is the norm with me, I often just get too worked up over any game the Hurricanes lose. I’m back to being a Jacory fan and am now anxiously awaiting for National Signing Day to see if the Canes can land another solid top 10 class!

I’d like to take this opporutnity to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and hope that everyone is having a joyous holiday. I’m stuck home alone with no gifts to speak of, but things are definitely very merry thanks to my Xbox 360 and lots of free time that will allow me to play some Mercenaries 2, Star Wars The Force Unleashed and Fallout 3. I may even put a little Left For Dead in the box, as well. And as a special gift to all of you, I will be posting a new Babe of the Week at some point before this day is through. Once again, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

To be quite honest, I might be late in saying this, but I think Prison Break has finally jumped the shark. I am just sick and tired of the storyline and am driven to the point of vomit when I hear the voices of many of the characters. Part of me wishes I would’ve just bailed on the show during Season 2, but I hadn’t grown to hate it yet and Season 3 seemed to get things back on the right track.

That said, the series has clearly gone on for far too long. The characters just lack the depth that’s needed to sustain them beyond a couple of seasons. The best thing that happened to the series was when Sarah Tancredi died but they fucked that up and it turned out she was still alive. Now every single episode I’m stuck praying that the bitch dies because she’s one of the most annoying female characters on television.

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I had to “watch” the game via Gamecast because the Pats were the only game on at 1PM today, but the Dolphins game against the Chiefs drove me crazy nevertheless. Thankfully, I was able to follow it while blowing shit up in Mercenaries 2 or I might’ve gone insane. They managed to pull yet another rabbit out of their hat and are now the first team in history to win 10 games in a season following one which they won 1 or less.

I’m still a bit pessimistic about their chances at beating the Jets, but it’s pretty simple for them — if they win they’re AFC East champs and in the playoffs, if they don’t, they’re most likely left out in the cold. After last year’s 1-15 disaster, I honestly couldn’t have wished for anything better than this. I’m proud of them either way and it’s been a very fun year of watching them play.

I have to take percocet for the pain from my recent surgery and I must say that this stuff is horrible for the whole jerking off thing. I’ve tried rubbing one out about a half dozen times since the surgery and have only managed to finish once. A few times I would just get bored before the big bang and others I would just wear my arm out after tugging at the little guy for 40+ minutes. That’s just way too long to do this sort of thing, even if you’re able to switch hands. I’m now debating if I’d rather just have the pain than this inability to successfully blow my load in a reasonable amount of time.

I’ve been wanting to watch it forever, but because it was released in a very limited production and was fetching insane prices on eBay, I had never been able to watch The Last Days of Disco until late last night. Luckily, Brandon — being the sweet and caring guy he is — decided to bring me over a care package that included Fallout 3, the strat guide for it, chicken soup and the aforementioned movie on DVD.

The truth is that I had no idea whether or not it was even a good movie. I just wanted to see it for the young Kate Beckinsale because that’s all it takes for me sometimes, as seen by my extensive Jessica Alba movie collection. What I found out that it was a fairly entertaining movie and was worth watching for more than just Kate Beckinsale jerk material. It gets a full cock up from me.

Alright, so she isn’t really jailbait. Regardless, Madeline Zima’s character on Californication IS and there’s something scandously sexy about that. Throw in the facts that she has an amazing rack and her character on the show clearly loves the cock, and you have one mighty fine Babe of the Week-worthy piece of ass.

As I’ve mentioned previously, this show is filled with Spank Bank™-worthy fodder and, believe me, I’ve been stiffening quite a few socks and wash cloths thanks its inspirational message. There will inevitably be a plethora of future BotW’s that will come from this Showtime classic. And while on the topic of Showtime, there’s some hot naked Asian girl on TV now in some movie called Swingers Sex Party. Forgive me, while I see what it’s all about.

The super quick surgical procedure was also a Godsend because Brandon was able to pick me up before it got too insane outside with the snowfall. It was coming down hard by the time he got me from Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center and it was already white all over, but the storm had basically just hit at that time so it wasn’t overly horrendous outside.

They’re saying we will be getting up to 12″ of snow and I honestly don’t mind at all because I’m stuck inside this weekend anyway because of the surgery. Really love watching the snowfall, anyway, because it’s almost as pretty as the snow in APF during night games. It can be quite mesmorizing and, thankfully, I don’t have to drive in it.

I had surgery to remove my gallbladder this morning and things actually went super smooth. Not only did the pre-surgery wait time fly right by, but, since I was completely under, the surgery was also over before I knew it. The hardest part has been dealing with the extreme sleepiness as a result of the anesthesia.

The various holes they needed to put in my belly do hurt a bit, but the percocet is doing a fine job of making that a bit of a non-issue, as well. The only downer is that the pain meds has caused some constipation so it’s hard to poo even though I really have the urge to get some of this crap out of me (in fact, I’m posting this blog entry via the crapper).

Nevertheless, I’m glad to finally have this taken care of because it’s been a pain in my ass — well moreso the stomach and back — for much of the past six months. It’ll be nice not to have to deal with it anymore.

This week is the first round in the playoffs of my the Playhard FFL and my team is up 53-50 and my opponent only has T.O. left tonight while I have Eli, Tashard and Westbrook left. It “should” be a win for me, but you never know with Fantasy Football, T.O. could respond with some crazy 30+ point game after all of this week’s Romo/Whitten drama and I could get toasted. But for now, things are looking great.

Things are also looking good for the Dolphins after winning yet another close game today. They’re still in a 3-way tie for first place in the AFC East with the Jets and Pats, and are still in complete control of their destiny. They beat the Chiefs and Jets and they’re in. If not, then they’re probably watching the playoffs from home yet again.

It looks like Captain Justice is 2 for 2 with his series recommendations of late. I just finished watching Season 1 & 2 of Californication and to put it bluntly, it fucking rocks. I know I’ve been around a long time but I’ve finally figured out what I wanna be when I grow up. Well, except that it’s a who and not a what. When I grow up I want to be Hank Moody. He may be a fictional character, but he is my hero — at least when he was boning everything that moved.

The series is just phenomenally interesting and it got me hooked with all the tits in the first episode. I’m saddened by the fact that the tits decreased over time, but I’m willing to forgive it because of the excellent writing and always witty dialog. It’s like all the characters are as smart, as fun and as witty as I am. With the big difference being that they all get laid a lot more than me, which in a wierd way gives me some hope for happiness. If you don’t have Showtime already, you need to get it for this, Weeds, and Dexter.

The pain in the ass gall bladder is set to be removed next week on Friday, December 19th, so this will be my final weekend of partying until after Christmas. I might actually stay in tonight and finish up Weeds Season 4, but tomorrow night will undoubtedly be one for the record books. My boy Harris knows a girl that will be out celebrating her 21st at either District or Gypsy, so the wildness will undoubtedly be off the charts.

I thought that when I left the densely-Asian populated Bay Area that my commute to work would be a lot less stressful. Well, the first four months living in Massachusetts has proven me completely wrong. The white drivers in Massachusetts are HORRIBLE drivers and are as bad as the Asians that constantly tried to end my life via vehicular manslaughter on a daily basis driving to and from work back in Cali.

The problem out here is that it’s a lot harder to spot them early. Back in San Francisco, an SUV with stuffed animals or Hello Kitty stickers all over the windows pretty much signaled to you that you needed to get off the road immediately or face potential death or mutilation. Here in Mass, there’s no tell signs because it can be anyone, including white males, which completely baffles me.

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Brandon’s been singing the show’s praise for quite some time, but I just never got around to watching Weeds because I just hadn’t had the time to catch up on all the past seasons. However, thanks to the Netflix play now feature on Xbox 360, as well as the normal rental method, I’ve been able to watch seasons 1, 2 & 3 over the course of the past week and am absolutely hooked.

The show is just flat out brilliant and is must-see TV if you’re not already watching it. I would catch up on all the Season 4 episodes that I’ve been saving on my Tivo, but I figured I’d save something for the weekend and get some sleep tonight instead. The first two eps of season 4 were excellent and from what I’ve heard things just keep getting better in the next 8. It just has the perfect combination of comedy and drama and the characters are superb, with the exception of Celia who always seems to inspire murder rage with me (although, maybe she’s a great character in that sense). Oh, and I could’ve lived without seeing the Frankenboobies, but the hot porn stars kind of made up for it. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it just means you need to watch the damn show already!

I don’t want to jinx it, but there are reports that Miami Hurricanes’ offensive coordinator Patrix Nix has been contacted for the vacant Head Coach position at Auburn. All I have to say about this is, PLEASE TAKE THE JOB IF IT’S OFFERED! He is the absolute worst offensive coordinator that’s ever been at UM during my lifetime and since he’s been running the show offensively, the team has completely lacked any sort of consistency or identity. The only time we’ve even looked like a passable offense has been whenever we’ve played a lowsy Big 12 school that doesn’t believe in defense, like Texas A&M. I really hope he takes the job and if not, Randy Shannon better fire him at season’s end or RS will be on my shit list.

Okay, so she is not THE Gossip Girl, but she’s one of the bangable cuties on that show I’ve never watched even though a few chicks I know say it’s pretty damn good. However, I use that term bangable loosely because you can only legally do that in a few countries that aren’t mine.

Anyway, I first saw Taylor Momsen in the movie Underdog and that sparked my interest enough to google her and find out that she was an actress in that TV series Gossip Girl that I’ve heard some good things about but will likely never watch. She might be extremely young, but she is really nice on the eyes and does look fairly mature for her age, which makes her fair game for all the old dirty pervs out there. Enjoy her as my Babe of the Week!

The quality of the talent at Venu was off the charts yet again tonight. My roll was off, but the night was still highly enjoyable. Good news is that we got the hook-up with one of the guys at the door who throws a lot of events around town so that’s yet another quality connection we’ve made over the past couple of weeks of going out partying on the town. It might be our New Year’s Eve party destination, where we’ll likely get bottle service and seduce the ladies. Anyway, I’m off to dreamland.

I get to work from home today because I have a 2:30PM doctor’s appointment so it didn’t make sense to make the 45 min drive to and from work four times today. It’s cool to have this option, but my chair at home, which I never normally use, doesn’t provide adequate back support. Plus, it’s kind of too quiet and I think my place is haunted…and not by one of those cool cock sucking ghosts.

Anyway, this weekend should be a blast. The plan is to hit up Middlesex Lounge in Cambridge tonight without the angry friend and then tomorrow we’ll be back at Model Central, aka Venu in Boston. I’m expecting the roll to be fierce on both nights and hopefully I’ll come back with some good stories, maybe some pics and if I’m lucky some brand new STDs.