First, I had an amazing time last night. I’ll blog about all of the night’s events tonight while catching up on all the Tivo shows that have been piling up. For now, I just wanted to share the strange events that capped off the enjoyable night for me and highly entertaining evening for all those lucky enough to meet me while I was apparently at my absolute best.

After leaving Matt Murphy’s Pub in Brookline, I started stumbling home since I just live about a mile away and Brandon and I have made the walk a ton of times since we go there every other Tuesday to listen to our friend Geoff play some great music. The only difference was that I was doing the walk alone this time, since Justice bailed early and missed out on all of the night’s highlights, and I was about 10 times drunker than normal.

I somehow made the wrong turn and ended up in an area that I hadn’t ever seen before and couldn’t figure out where the hell I was. Since I was really tired and drunk, I got a little frustrated by the walking around aimlessly so I decided to find a comfy area on the sidewalk to pass out on. At this time, I called practically every friend in my phone in an attempt to get some help getting home (sorry!).

Then at some point while I was resting my eyes, this really hot girl rolled up and felt concerned enough to check on my safety. Here’s a recap of the dialog between us to that led to her actually bringing a complete stranger and obnoxiously drunk man into her home after 2AM in the morning:

Hottie: “Hey, are you okay?”

Me: “I’m doing great! I’m just resting my eyes and trying to rest up.”

Hottie: “So are you homeless or something?”

Me: “Yeah, I just lost all my money in the stock market and I was forced to decide between paying for my iPhone or paying rent. I chose the iPhone!”

Hottie: [laughs] “You need helping getting home?”

Me: “Nah, I just need some time to sober up and then I’ll be able to find my way.”

Hottie: “You should come inside and let me make you a cup coffee.”

Me: “Okay.”

[Hottie sticks out her hand and helps me up and we start walking to her door.]

Hottie: “You gotta promise not to rape me or anything if I let you in.” [chuckles]

Me: “While I would absolutely love to rape you, it’s not going to happen. You ever hear that of that song ‘Too Drunk To Fuck’? Well, the girl who wrote it is my ex-girlfriend.”

[Hottie laughs and then we go inside.]

Not really much of significance happened after that. She got me a coffee, we talked a little and then I left. I still didn’t know how to get home so I found another place on the sidewalk to rest and made a few more calls before Paula and her boyfriend called me back and helped me find my way thanks to the power of Google Maps.

I’m still just shocked that some random hot, young and very attractive girl would invite my drunk ass into her place in the middle of the night. Extremely nice of her, but probably not the brightest of moves! I’m a good guy, but there was no way for her to know that!