DaveZdyrko.com

If you’re a fan of the booty and love what bitches like Vida and J-Lo have to offer, then you will without question become a fan of Jaime Koeppe because this baby most definitely got back. I’m not ready to throw out any “best ass ever” awards, but this girl would undoubtedly be a finalist and that’s the main reason she’s my Babe of the Week.

I’ve always stated that I’ve been to 48 of the 50 States, but after really mapping out every single trip and move in depth I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve been wrong in my proclamation. Turns out that I’ve only been in 42 of the 50 States, with Alaska, Maine, Iowa, Kansas, Alabama, South Carolina, West Virginia & North Dakota being the States I’ve missed. I used to think it was just Alaska & Maine. Sadly, I’ve only gotten laid in a mere four of the 42 States I’ve ventured into. Now that’s a number that really needs to be improved upon even if it means banging hookers in all fifty. Anyway, here’s a breakdown of everywhere that I’ve been.

I’m just crazy busy at work these days trying to finish up NHL 2K9 for Wii, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. I think I’m averaging about 14-16 hours a day and am working all 8 days of each and every week. Oh, wait, there are only 7 days in a week? My bad, it just feels like more.

Anyway, that’s my excuse for the lack of content. I’ve actually had some interesting things that I would write about — including an impromptu adventure that had me end up in Vegas and winning $350 playing Texas Hold ‘Em Bonus — but I’ve been too busy with work to bother sharing. I figure you’ll forgive me since I have been updating Babe of the Week, including just now with my honoring Scarlett Johansson as this week’s chick you should be jerking it to.

My site is being a really huge pain in the ass right now and it’s taken me over a fucking hour just to update the Babe of the Week. This shit shouldn’t take more than five minutes tops, but the back end has just been ridiculously bad. So much so that I’m ready to break shit and start killing people. Lucky for you, I went through all this agonizing pain just so I could put up some really sexy pictures of the Brazilian hottie from The Incredible Hulk — Debora Nascimento. I’m not so sure all of you deserve this kind of love from me, but I do it anyway.

I’m just unbelievably over-joyed right now. The Boston Celtics just came out and steamrolled the LA Lakers 131-92 tonight to win the team’s 17th NBA Championship and first since 1986. This not only ended their 22 year championship drought, but my own as a fan of professional sports, as the Orioles haven’t won since ’83, the Flyers since ’75 and the Dolphins since the ’73 season (the Flyers and Dolphins have never won a title with me as a fan).

The best part about it was this didn’t seem possible even a year ago. We had just finished one of the worst seasons in team history where we tanked the last half of the season in the hopes of getting the 1st pick in the draft lottery to land Oden or Durant. Then the lottery balls don’t fall our way and we end up getting stuck with the 5th pick of the draft all but ending our hopes of building a championship team for years to come. But then Danny boy traded that pick for Ray Allen, which was universally DOGGED on draft day by all the experts, and then used the leverage of having Ray Ray convince Kevin Garnett to accept a trade to wear Celtic green. And, well, the rest is history. We’re the 2008 NBA Champions!

PS – I think this means that The Curse of Dave Z might be finally over!

Alright, so I saw some hot boob action on some DVD box art for this movie called P2 when searching for stuff to put in my Blockbuster queue a while back. That pulled me in. Then I read the plot synopsis on the site, which read:

A corporate workaholic finds that her decision to work late on Christmas Eve has potentially deadly consequences in this thriller starring Wes Bently and Rachel Nichols. It’s that time of the year, and as the snow falls outside and families gather around the dinner table, Angela vows to close one last deal before the holiday. Now late for her family gathering, Angela rushes down to the garage in hopes of racing home and catching dinner before it gets cold. When her car refuses to start, her phone fails to get a signal, and everyone else has already left, it begins to appear as if Angela’s luck may have finally run out. Thankfully, a friendly security guard appears and offers to lend a helping hand. During the course of discussion, the security guard flirtatiously invites Angela to share the Christmas dinner he has prepared in the parking office – an offer that the high-powered corporate climber laughingly dismisses. The next thing Angels knows, she wakes up tied to a chair in the cold security office located on level P2. It appears as if the security guard’s invitation wasn’t optional, and that Christmas dinner was the last thing on his mind. Upon realizing just how serious her situation truly is Angela struggles to escape her subterranean prison and make it out so that she may live to see another Christmas morning. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

Sounds like it could be good for some sexual situations and plenty of nudity, right? Well, it wasn’t. Despite the fact that it starred the sexy Rachel Nichols, who happens to be my Babe of the Week, it was a steaming pile of crap. I’m not even sure what happened in the movie except that we didn’t get to see this bitch’s lovely tits and that’s a damn shame. Cleavage just doesn’t cut it for me and no crappy B-movie like this should be without lots and lots of nudity. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves! Leave me alone right now, I’m pissed.

It’s been two months since I posted my blog entry “Does Extenze Really Work?”, and while I had planned on giving it a full three months, I’ve seen enough — or maybe “not enough” — to call Extenze an epic failure. My length and girth increased by about 3/16th of an inch each, but I’d surmise that it was because my first day measurement was while I was hungover after a night where I downed an entire liter and a half of vodka and since then I’ve lost 10 lbs and haven’t had a drink six weeks. Just remember, I tried it so you don’t have to. Up next will be the John Holmes penis transplant so stay tuned!

Words can’t express how excited I am after watching the Celtics come back from 24 down to beat the Lakers tonight to take a commanding 3-1 series lead. We’re just one win away from my first professional championship in 22 years! I’m still in shock over us coming back and winning this game. I know it’ll suck for people looking for a good series, but I hope we can just go out and win this thing on Father’s day.

Even though Kobe was being his MVP self and Sasha played out of his mind, Game 3 was ours for the taking and we missed out on a great chance to take complete control over this series thanks to some horrible shooting and sloppy play from guys like Paul Pierce. He made some of the laziest passes that ended up being turnovers and was just throwing up bricks left and right while not taking it hard to the hoop. And what’s up with them not fouling when they still had a chance to win or not having a good play call to set up for a three after the time out? Doc Rivers is just retarded some times.

A lot of the credit goes to the Lakers’ D, but guys like Pierce and Garnett just needed to be more aggressive instead of settling for bricks from long range. The reason I thought this was ours for the taking was that despite Kobe’s and Sasha’s efforts, the rest of the team didn’t really do that well. You’re not going to get many games where Odom, Gasol and Fisher all play that poorly on the offensive end in LA. Not to mention the fact that Lakers tried to give it away by making only 61% of their foul shots. I still think we might be able to take at least one of the next two games, but if we don’t then this game will likely be looked at as one that we let slip away.