Yessssss!!!!!!!! The Celtics are back in the NBA Finals after a 21 year drought and they’ll be in a dream match-up with the league’s MVP Kobe Bryant and his magnificent Los Angeles Lakers. I’m so fucking excited that my heart is just racing like crazy and I can’t help but grin from ear to ear.

To close out Detroit in Auburn Hills tonight in Game 6 was thrilling and I’m so proud of my boys for coming through with their 2nd road win this series. The best part is that it seems we’re getting big games from different people every night. Pierce and Allen came through tonight and so did did role players like James Posey who had a brilliant 4th quarter defensively. The three straight missed free throws definitely made my heart miss a few beats, but the bottom line is that they scored enough points and made enough shots to win.

I’m scared shitless of the Finals match-up with the Lakers and thoroughly believe we’re the underdogs, but, hell, that’s why they play the games. All it takes is another four more wins. It should be an amazing series and I would be beyond thrilled if the boys in green can pull this one out. Go Celtics!!!

I wish my Boston Celtics could’ve just held on to that 15 point lead or even increased it, but the bottom line is that they withheld the Pistons’ mighty 4th quarter charge and came out victorious in Game 5 tonight. It was a must-win game because there’s no way they could’ve rebounded from blowing this one to win Game 6 in Detroit and then Game 7 back in Boston. Now we’re only one win away from a dream match-up with the Los Angeles Lakers (Yes, I’ve already given them that series). Go Celtics!

In honor of our brave men and women who have died serving this country and fighting for our freedom, I proudly present the American-born and bred Marisa Miller as my latest Babe of the Week. Not only has this big tittied blonde graced the pages of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and Victoria’s Secret, as well as being ranked in this year’s Maxim Hot 100, but she’s also showed off all her wonderful goods in Perfect 10 magazine. Now if that isn’t a way to honor the fallen on this Memorial Day, then I don’t know what else could.

My achievement whoring has gotten me to play some pretty awful games, with Lost Via Domus being the latest such title. The only difference between this and something like, let’s say, Meet the Robinsons, is that I had a tad bit of interest in playing Lost because I’m a huge fan of the show. The fandom didn’t do much to make it an enjoyable experience, though. The controls were just too clunky and there just wasn’t that much to the game. I thought some of the characters actually looked quite good, but the gameplay was just lacking. I would say it needed more content, but that wouldn’t have helped because for most of the game I was hoping it would just end. Thankfully it did indeed end and it ended with me getting a full 1000/1000 achievement points. Sadly, I’ll probably never be able to say the same for the three games I’m playing right now for “fun” — Devil May Cry 4, GTA IV and Rainbow Six: Vegas 2.

It was most likely a boring game for pure fans of NBA basketball that didn’t have as stake in either team, but I enjoyed the crap out of it. I just needed a game where the Celtics came out strong and just held the lead throughout, so yesterday’s 94-80 victory over the Pistons in Auburn Hills was a Godsend. I just hope that they can bring the same intensity in Game 4 because just getting back home court advantage doesn’t mean shit against a team like the Pistons. I’m just praying we can somehow end this thing quickly because my stomach wouldn’t be able to handle the stress of this thing going too deep. Detroit’s too good and too experienced for my liking and even though a Game 7 would be in Boston, you wouldn’t be able to count them out, as the Spurs showed against the Hornets in the last round. Monday’s game in Detroit is gonna be huge.

I’m not really all that surprised and knew coming in that we’d have to find a way to win a game on the road this series. Getting a split in the upcoming two games is now an absolute must after losing tonight in Boston. It looks like we’ll get to see what KG, Pierce, Ray Ray and the rest of my Celtics are made of.

It appears that Jessica Alba is officially off the market as she’s married that douche bag Cash Warren. Seriously, what the fuck kind of name is Cash Warren? It sounds like the name of someone that would molest children or rape donkeys. I’m sure it won’t last and I’ll still get a chance to bang her out Kobe style one of these days.

I’ve watched maybe 15 minutes of Dancing With the Stars over the course of its entire existence, but the fact that my boy Jason Taylor was competing in it definitely piqued my interest even if it didn’t get me to watch. I’m proud of the fact that he was very successful at it and made it to the final two despite the fact that he lost to Kristi Yamaguchi in the end.

It’s no surprise to me that she’d kick ass at dancing given the fact that she’s one of the greatest women’s figure skaters of all-time. It really makes me wonder why she was even allowed in this competition. I always thought this was about getting random stars and celebrities that you wouldn’t expect to do well at a dance competition to learn and excel at dancing. I’d gather that she was the odds on favorite to win that thing before it even started based on her pedigree.

It must be a Happy Monday because for the first time in more than a month I’ve actually got a Babe of the Week out on time. This week’s honey is the sultry and sexy Mia Maestro who you may have seen on that hit television show Alias that starred Jennifer Garner. If not there, you might’ve caught her in one of my many overtly sexual, and sometimes sick, fantasies of her if you happened to have an all-access pass to my brain (which would be worth billions upon billions of dollars if it actually existed). She’s fine and if you ever get the opportunity, you should most definitely tap that shit.

Pierce played out of his mind today and practically carried the Celtics to this game 7 victory over the Lebrons. It’s fitting since he’s the Celtic with the longest tenure and the one that probably had it the hardest during last year’s horrific season. He came through in spades today, as did role players like PJ Brown and Eddie House. I’m very proud of the way the team hustled and just threw their bodies around, it was Celtics Pride at its finest.

The Detroit series will be a beast, particularly because of Boston’s road woes. However, I have faith in my boys and am hoping that they might just match up better against Detroit than they did against Atlanta or Cleveland — meaning that while Detroit is by far a better overall team than the Hawks or Cavs, they don’t have any scorers in the vein of a Lebron or Joe Johnson that really gave Boston problems. Nevertheless, I’m both nervous and excited. It should be a fun and hard fought series that will hopefully end with the C’s in the NBA Finals.

I thought it was going to be one of those glorious sports days where I could flip back and forth between two of my teams participating in playoff games at the same time — with Philly in the NHL playoffs and the Celtics in the NBA playoffs. But after some quick goals and obviously home brewed officiating, the Flyers’ game quickly became and afterthought. While it definitely sucked to see them go out getting their collective asses handed to them 6-0 in game 5, I’m still proud of the team’s turnaround this season and had a lot of fun watching them. And with the young blossoming talent that they have on the team, I’m hopeful for the team’s future. Congratulations, Philly, on making it to the Eastern Conference Finals. I can’t wait till next year!

I really hate that Friday Night Lights was canned. Sure, it was a stupid high school football soap opera, but it was entertaining and it had some fine ass bitches in it. One of the show’s beauties was the lovely Adrianne Palicki who starred as the character named Tyra Collette. She’s smoking hot and even though you won’t be able to see her on Friday Night Lights anymore because it was canceled, you can always check her out in my Babe of the Week. Hell, you can even see her lovely uncovered titties, which is always a wonderful thing.

I was let out of the hospital just an hour ago and I’m already back at work. I’m hardcore like that. The good news is that the gallstone passed without the need of the non-invasive procedure and I’m feeling pretty great right now. The bad news is that I’ll likely have to go back in at some point to have a full on surgery to remove my gallbladder. Not going to worry about that now and will just focus on work, masturbating again, playing some GTA IV, Devil May Cry 4 and The Lost this weekend, and, uh, getting as healthy and fit as I can.

My hair is greasy and I could use a hot shower. I haven’t masturbated since 7:39AM Monday morning. My pee still looks like diarhea and my shit like an albino, but at least the abdominal pain is gone. Nevertheless, I’m bored outta my mind because I’m stuck in this damn hospital room and can’t jerk off or play videogames. Hell, I can’t even eat or drink anything so it’s been 48 hours since my last meal! The best part is that they still don’t know how long I’ll be in here and only know for certain that I’m not going home today.

Not quite my death bed, but I am in the hospital sharing a room with a pair of really irritable old men. Had to go to the ER last night because of extreme abdominal pain and it turns out I have gallstones and might need surgery to remove them. While I’m here I might get them to upgrade me to D cups.

It might sound weird, but there was actually a time in my youth where I didn’t think there were any hot Asian women. I just never really saw any other than my sister and mom and, well, I’m not from West Virginia (that’s for Brandon Justice) so they weren’t my type. I just didn’t grow up with many around me and the ones on TV didn’t do anything for me. Things started to change once I started getting into the video game industry back in my Sega-Saturn.com and Eidolon Gamers’ Society days and started meeting some extremely hot PR chicks and E3 booth babes of Asian descent.

Being in the games industry eventually led me to San Francisco where I realized there are tons of extremely cute yella honeys just walking around all over the place. This discovery plus the TGS trips to Japan where there were so many gorgeous women that were a dentist appointment away from being a supermodel all led me to realize that I was one dumb and ignorant fuck growing up. Case in point is the beautiful Chinese actress that starred in hit movies such as Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Rush Hour 2, Hero and TMNT, Zhang Ziyi. Not only is she absolutely stunning, but she’s also my Babe of the Week.

It’s been a month since I posted my blog entry “Does Extenze Really Work?”, so I figure it’s a good time for some follow-up results. Astonishing! I started out a very average (albeit tremendously above average considering half my ethnicity) 6″ in length and 5.5″ in girth. What am I now? Well, let’s just say the ladies have been calling me the “Tennis Instructor” because it’s about the size of a tennis ball container. I’ll just leave it at that!

Back to reality, though. After a month on this shit, nothing has really changed. The head saw the north side of the 6″ mark on the ruler by maybe 1/16th or 1/8th of an inch and the girth showed the same minor incremental increase. Sure, there’s been a size increase but it was well within the normal variances that I’ve witnessed over time. I’ll still give this thing the 2-3 months it claims it needs to work, but so far I’d say it’s been a failure. I’ll follow up again next month.

Even though I’m happy that we’re up 2-0 on the Lebrons, I more relieved than ecstatic because a home loss might have been disastrous. The real test is coming with the next two games in Cleveland because if the Boston Celtics can’t come together on the road then our NBA Championship hopes might have to wait until next year. My fingers are crossed that the Hawks series was a nice kick in the butt for them and we’ll be able to keep up the intensity shown in defending Lebron & Co. in the first two games of this series.

I keep reading comments and posts on ESPN.com saying that Boston sucks and that Celtics fans should be embarrassed that the lowly 8th seeded Hawks took them to a game 7. What the fuck ever. The team was 24-58 last year and had the 2nd worst record in the league. They added Allen, KG and a slew of other players, dominated the regular season and are in the process of humiliating the Hawks in Boston (currently up 36 points with 2:24 to go in the 4th). I’m proud of the  team and will be even if they don’t add another banner to the rafters in the Garden this year. I’m looking forward to an extremely difficult challenge going up against King James and Cleveland, as it should be an amazing series reminiscent of the times the Celtics took on Jordan’s Bulls in his early years. It should be FANtastic.

Speaking of fantastic, I’m even more thrilled by the fact that the Flyers finished off the Canadians last night putting them into the Eastern Conference Finals of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. They finished 22-48-12 last season, which was dead last in the NHL with only 56 points, so making it this far has been a fun, albeit stressful, ride. I can’t wait to see them take on Crosby, Malkin and the Pens (assuming they don’t collapse against the Rangers).

Way back in the day, one of my loyal readers predicted great things for Hilary Duff and greatness surely did follow.  I think she might  have been like 12 years old back then, so that says a lot about the foresight, intuition, intelligence and general knowledge of the typical person that checks out my blog. Of course, it could also just mean that pervs attract pervs, but I think we’re just splitting hairs now. Either way, that young girl blossomed into a beautiful Babe of the Week.