Still riding on the high of having 8 vials of blood siphoned from my body (and the subsequent replacement of it with new and completely fresh blood not yet tainted by my devilish habits), I was given more to be joyful about in the form of a Flyers 4-2 win over the Canadians and a Celtics 110-85 throbbing of the Hawks.

The Flyers, as per form, got a 2-0 lead only to blow it and make things interesting before finally coming out on top. The finish is all that matters in the end, but if I start getting gray hairs or have a stroke the blame is going to be put on them. I’m really hoping they can close it out this weekend. My fingers are crossed and a blade isn’t coming anywhere near my playoff “beard” (if you can call the long scraggly hairs hanging under my chin a beard).

The C’s did exactly what they did in the first two home games — blow out the Hawks — so now it’s time to see if they can pull things together in Atlanta’s raucous arena to finally close out this series on Friday. I don’t want to see it go to a game 7 in either series, because I’m not sure if my heart could take it.

The vampires at Kaiser drained 8 vials of my blood to do tests for a bunch of stuff, some related to what I wrote about in the previous post and some just for my general physical. It was kind of cool because I felt really euphoric afterwards and it lasted for at least an hour or so. Plus, the intern that poked me was this really cute black chick and she spent a good six minutes feeling up my arm trying to find a vein. I should find out what’s wrong with me — other than the obvious issues with obesity, alcoholism and drug abuse — within the next two days.

I’ve been busy both at work and at home, so the updates have been thin of late. Here’s a quick re-cap of what’s been going on. I’m honestly shocked that Atlanta was able to even up the series at 2-2 with my Boston Celtics. I knew coming in that they had some phenomenal young players, but I figured my boys would be able to turn it on in the playoffs after being in 2nd gear for the past two months and just roll them in four. While I’m still confident we can win this series, it looks like it’ll be a fight to get out of it and a mighty struggle to get out of the supposedly weak East.

The Philadelphia Flyers have been a welcome surprise, though I don’t want to get too confident because a 2-1 series lead doesn’t mean it’s a lock, particularly after they almost blew the 3-1 lead against the Caps. Still, it’s been awesome cheering them on and I’m hoping they can continue to play great and make it to the Eastern Conference Finals against Malkin, Crosby & the Pens (assuming they continue to dominate their series).

On a more personal note, I’ve been experienced what I’ve self-diagnosed as kidney pains. It might just my back muscles, but the signs and symptoms point more to the kidneys. I have a doctor’s appointment today, so I’ll find out more later this afternoon. Shit hurts, though, and really makes it hard to concentrate.

Luckily, amid the kidney pains that started Saturday afternoon after downing 12 diet Pepsi’s in 10 minutes and the struggles of the C’s and the stress of watching the Flyers get big leads, blow the leads, then either win or lose at the end, it was really nice to be able to release some stress killing random people in GTA IV. God, I love this game and this series.

I’ve only played a couple of hours of the single player (going through some really boring parts) and had a lot of fun playing with other 2K guys online multiplayer, but I can see why it’s gotten all the 10s. There’s just so much good too it. So much that you can forgive all the flaws such as the horrid animations, sloppy camera angles, god-awful AI, fucked up targeting issues, etc, etc. It is easily the most-flawed “best. game. ever” that I’ve yet played. I could probably write an IGN-esque 25,000 word review just bitching about the game. Then again, I could write as many praising the hell out of it. In the end, I’m sure the good will mightily outweigh the bad and I’ll love this as much as the previous games in the series and quite possibly more.

I’m not sure if you know this, but I have a weak spot for really pretty girls that have great tits, slap-worthy asses, and seductively sexy figures. Lisa Angeline is one such girl and that’s why she was an obvious choice for Babe of the Week. This lovely specimen of the fairer sex is just flat out dope. Look at that booty and just try not to think about kissing, biting, licking, squeezing, slapping or smothering your face in it. That’s what I thought.

It looks like Disney’s Hanna Montana, aka Miley Cyrus, has created a bit of a stir thanks to more leaked “sexy” and “racy” photos from her MySpace. Umm, seriously…is this shit really controversial? Are these photos really “racy”, “sexy” or “provocative” as hundreds of blogs and celebrity gossip sites claim? Hell, no. People are just hella retarded and ignorant of what teens are doing these days. You’ll find much worse from your average run-of-the-mill teen on MySpace or Facebook. Believe me, I’m on top of this shit! Anyway, I’ve added these “controversial” photos of lil Miss Miley to her Babe of the Week page.

ESPN.com recently had a poll that asked which sport had the best Game 7 and the NHL finished 3rd with the NBA netting 2nd and the MLB coming in 1st. The results were obviously swayed by the overall popularity of each sport because if you’re an avid follower of all three, such as myself, then you’d agree that hockey deserved the top spot. And today’s contest between the Washington Capitals and my victorious Philadelphia Flyers was an excellent example of a Game 7 in the Stanley Cup Playoffs at its finest.

I feel completely exhausted after watching that intense 3rd period and overtime. It was tied 2-2 going into the 3rd, so I was on the edge of my seat for every single one of the shots taken in the period and in OT. Not to mention the stomach-wrenching, heart-pounding, and nerve-wracking feeling I’d get every time Alexander Ovechkin handled the puck or took a shot. The man’s a beast and was clearly superior to everyone else on the ice. I’m just amazed we were able to keep him contained at all for a good chunk of this series. My hat goes off to Coburn and Timonen for their work in shutting him down because he’s everything I had expected Eric Lindros to be.

Anyway, the game was a blast and I’m triply excited about it because we were able to come out on top, especially after they played a game that made me HATE them as blogged about last night. For now, it’s time to celebrate this victory and then prepare for the potential for more heartbreak, hate and, quite possibly, more extreme joy in the next round match up with the Montreal Canadians.

I’d like to welcome Michigan’s behemoth 6′ 7″ left tackle Jake Long to the dysfunctional Miami Dolphins family. As I’ve previously stated, I didn’t have a favorite among the candidates and would have been just as happy with Chris Long, Glen Dorsey, or Vernon Gholston. But, going with Long is a very solid pick and I hope he turns out to be the cornerstone of our offensive line for the next 7 to 10 years.

Two of the most important factors in winning football games are protecting your quarterback and pressuring your opponent’s quarterback. Jake Long will hopefully help accomplish the first task. If he proves to be a stud LT along the lines of Orlando Pace or Ron Yary, the only other offensive tackles taken with the 1st overall pick of the NFL draft, our QB’s and RB’s should be in excellent shape to be successful over the course of the next decade.

Both John Beck and Ronnie Brown should be extremely happy with this pick and I hope for their sakes, as well as mine as a fan, that he proves to be worth the five year, $57.75 million contract with $30 million guaranteed he just signed for. Now it’s all about me anxiously waiting to see who the Dolphins select with their 2nd pick, which is the first pick of the 2nd round but is essentially the same as the last pick of the first round because it’ll be the 32nd player chose because of the Pastryshits’ forfeiture of the 31st pick. Maybe we can get a QB or pass rusher with that selection!

Being a Flyers fan, I kind of get why sports fans in Philadelphia are angry all the time. The Flyers, much like Philly’s other teams, seem to always perform below what the team’s talent would dictate. After watching six games of this first round series with the Capitals, it’s clearly evident that the black and orange is the more talented team from top to bottom. We have legit scorers on practically every line and our defense and goaltending is solid.

Yet, because of mental lapses and lackluster effort once things seemed “in the bag”, the series with the Caps is going to game 7 in Washington tomorrow night. We might still be able to pull this out because home ice seems to matter very little in the NHL, but it shouldn’t have had to come down to this. We’ve let this series slip away, plain and simple. Then again, this inconsistency has plagued this team all year so it shouldn’t surprise me. I was just hoping it was a case of them just needing the motivation of something like being in the playoffs to get them playing at the top of their game. But, I guess I was wrong.

To celebrate her 18th birthday, it appears that Harry Potters’ Hermione Granger, aka Emma Watson, decided to join the celeb upskirt crew upon leaving her party. She’s apparently wise enough to not go panty-less, but still not yet skilled enough to keep the goods better hidden. It is also crystal clear that she’s not yet learned the spell to cleanly wax that bush.

The weekend was a blur and came and went like a cloud of smoke. I apologize (cue the Timbaland song now) for the lack of updates because I’ve actually got quite a bit I could’ve posted. There’s plenty for me to share with you, such as the week 1 Extenze results, the first weekend of the NBA playoffs, the current state of the NHL playoffs, the NFL draft less than a week away, a “Dear Dave” update and the state of my overall health and current masturbatory fantasies. But, I’ve been busy doing absolutely nothing except being chill on a joyous holiday weekend.

You don’t have to pose with your clothes off or star in your very own sex tape or straight up porn to get named my Babe of the Week, as is the case with this week’s honoree Arielle Kebbel. My imagination is powerful enough to take care of those minor character flaws and make my own imaginary porn with the utmost ease.

It definitely helps if the girl does her duty to help me out, but I’m game for constructing my own mental image of exactly how her breasts, nips, and vajopolis would look like in the flesh. Nevertheless, I’d love it if I were to one day compare my mental image of Arielle to the real thing. Here’s to hoping she helps make that happen!

When the hell did gas jump up past $4/gallon? Just filled up my tank and it was $4.039/gallon and my total bill was a nut-rupturing $65! I guess it’s a good thing that I live fairly close to work and only really have to fill ‘er up maybe once every two to four weeks.

I finally watched the award-winning Coen Brothers’ flick No Country For Old Men last night and I honestly don’t know what to think of it. It’s not that it was above me or that it was hard to understand, but rather that I just loved parts of the movie and downright hated the others. I’m at the point where I can’t decide which which emotion wins out, though the current balance of things is leaning towards my disgust with it.

Let me start out with the good. The first half of the movie was phenomenal. It just pulled me in and I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happened next. Anton Chigurh is one evil son of a bitch and quite possibly the biggest bad ass in the history of film. Whenever he was on screen I could just feel the evil in him. During the “heads or tails” scene with the store clerk, I was literally shaking from the sense of fear and eagerness to see what was going to happen. That shit was intense and it was only one of many scenes that were equally enthralling.

At some point it just all fell apart, though. It might have been around the time they got to Mexico, but I’m not sure exactly. The intensity died and it went from being a gripping story that I couldn’t wait to see what happened next to one that was predictable, boring and couldn’t end soon enough. The chase was outstanding, but the conclusion to it was a tremendous letdown. I’d liken it to going out to some hot night club on South Beach. Pulling the hottest bitch in the room and getting her to come back to your place, only for you to pass out drunk before you can even get her clothes off. That’s what this movie was to me in a nutshell.

I didn’t think anyone else watched the same crap that I do, but apparently other people out there are entertained by the same worthless television that I am. People actually get joy out of watching stupid bitches on shows like Rock of Love 2 and Beauty & the Geek. I thought I was one of the few. Or maybe I am and the other five or six others just happen to read my blog, as well as watch these types of shows. Hmmm, that actually makes a lot of sense. Anyway, here’s a special “Dear Dave” where you’ll find nekkies of some of your Rock of Love 2 and Beauty & the Geek whores that have nekkies out on the interweb. Contact me if you want to be included in future updates. Oh, and it’s NSFW because I’m too lazy to mosaic out the naughties.

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The temp is in the mid-80s, there’s not a cloud in the sky and the humidity level is just perfect. This is my kind of a day. It’s just perfect outside. My friend Gordon and I have been trying to shoot hoops every Saturday morning for both the exercise as well as the fun and this was a great day to do it. I’m pretty damn exhausted from it now, though, primarily because it is such a warm and sunny day.

After I get a little rest, I think it’ll be time to head back out to truly get the most about this weather. This is the time when the girls around her tend to bust out their skimpiest and sexiest outfits. The summer clothes. I freaking love it!

I guess the Olympic torch was in San Francisco and I completely missed it. Oh, well. I’ve heard that even if you wanted to see it, you probably couldn’t because they had to be super secretive with the route in order to avoid potential violence from protesters. I guess it makes sense for safety reasons, but it’s odd because of nobody could see it, then what’s really the point?

It doesn’t matter because the Olympics haven’t really been that huge of a deal to me for quite some time. I’ll pay attention to certain sports and events that are of interest to me, but the days of religiously following the medal count and watching every single second of coverage are long over. I think it died with the USSR, the Berlin Wall and the onset of constant coverage of the use of performance enhancing drugs by pretty much every single athlete in every single country.

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My gut reaction is that it doesn’t work and that if it really did add 25% size to your penis that every man in the world would be using it. That said, when I was piss drunk this past weekend with my roommates I got the idiotic idea in my head to do a real product test for my website. So…I will be wasting my money over the course of the next 3-4 months popping these pills and updating you guys weekly on the progress of my penis size.

Seriously, the things I will do for your entertainment. I did my first pre-Extenze measurements this morning and my start points for this test is a length of 6.0″ and a girth of 5.5″. I will be giving you weekly progress reports on how this shit is working, however please keep in mind that this morning wasn’t a prime penis day for me as it was crazy cold in my bedroom, I was a bit hungover from tequila shots last night, and I think I was experiencing a bit of performance anxiety. I won’t start thinking Extenze really works until after I top 6.25″ in length and 6″ in girth because those are my all-time personal best marks. If it does, then this stuff is bomb.

I don’t know what it is, but there’s something special about seeing a reality TV star all nekkid and shit. Even though most all reality TV is hella fake and most all of the girls that do it are really no different than your typical Playboy slut or porn star, being on reality TV kind of gives these women whores a semblance of being normal everyday chicks. This in turn makes it all that much cooler to see them showing off their money-makers. It’s a win-win situation for all parties involved.

One of the girls that fits this mold is the lovely Audrina Patridge, who stars on The Hills alongside other hotties Lauren Conrad, Heidi Montag, and Whitney Port. A bunch of nude photos of this sexy slut surfaced on the ‘net a few weeks back and that’s why she’s getting honored as my Babe of the Week while the others have not (and probably won’t until they get smart and release naked photos or do a sex tape).

And just because I love you and I’m 100% behind the spreading of untagged and watermark-less photos of hot bitches, the pics you’ll find are completely unblemished by any idiotic tags. Hopefully people will learn that it’s not about being first or getting credit for these kinds of pictures, but rather to let all other horny men share in the glory of nekkid bitches without having to stare at any unsightly watermarks! And if you elect me President of the United States, I promise to make this law!

I think it might just be magic, but I somehow lost 10 lbs from last week’s weigh-in to this week’s. It’s either magic or the fact that I got insanely drunk last night and might just be hella dehydrated. I have been working out, though, so that’s a good thing. And I also have been eating a lot of healthy foods, so that’s a big step in the right direction. Now I just gotta cut down on the unhealthy foods, the excessive drinking and the late night binging and all will be great! Easy, right?