I, surprisingly, got enough emails to warrant yet another “Dear Dave” update. We’ll see how long this lasts, but if it does, you can expect weekly updates to this section approximately every Thursday.

Dear Dave: So a couple weeks ago I was reading on IGN about their fancy pants 10 year anniversary and I saw a picture of you and some other former IGNers. I thought I’d check out your old page just for the hell of it and, lo and behold, there’s a brand new page up!

Anyhoo, its great to see you’re doing well. Sex, Money and Video Games, what more could a guy ask for?
–Andrew (Toronto, ON)

Dave Z: I’m glad you found your way back for to the re-launched site! Hmmm, what more could a guy ask for? I might be able to use another 1 3/4″ on my member to give me a solid 8″. Otherwise, everything is amazing in my life right now.

Dear Dave: I love the Wii. What games u think a girl should get for it??
– Lindz (Atlanta, GA)

Dave Z: FYI, if you capitalize that “z” at the end, some people might mistake you for my wifey. Depending on what state you’re in at the time, it could be a good thing or a bad thing. Whatever you do, don’t bring my name up if you’re in Tennessee.

For the Wii, go with Super Mario Galaxy, Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games, Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess, Big Brain Academy, and Trauma Center for starters. Not necessarily designed for girls, but I know a few lovely ladies that enjoy these titles.

PS – Don’t be ashamed to send nudes.

Dear Dave: I watched the new Rambo movie last night and got to thinking… we dont really know much about his past before and during the war in Vietnam (other than he was tortured at some point). What would you think about a Prequel to the Rambo saga in video game form during this time period? A game in the vein of The Chronicles of Riddick– a first person action/adventure game with fps tie ins.

Personally I would really love to see something like this come into fruition, and I believe that video games are the perfect thing for this project. Seeing as how you are very in touch with the gaming community and im certain you have plenty of sources…i hate to ask you– but would there be any way for you to contact Stallone or a game company about this project?
- Bob Blount (Mansfield, OH)

Dave Z: That’s actually a very interesting idea and I’d love to see it come to fruition as well! I eventually want to run my own videogame company some day, so maybe this could be the first title! Please don’t sue me if I take the idea and turn it into a multi-million seller for the 360, PS3 and Wii.

Dear Dave: Longgggg time reader here! Just stumbled back on your site for some reason and am glad ur back up. LOVE the new look!

I wanted to know if you would consider being my wingman if i ever make it down to SF to hit on chicks at da clubs?!?? That would be so cool!
– NeoTTY (Portland, OR)

Dave Z: Glad you like what you see, hopefully more people just “happen” on to the site over the next few months. I’ve had a solid January, but the new content is only getting 1/10th of the monthly visitors I was getting prior to the shut down.

And, sure, I might be up with it. What would be so cool about it, though? You have some weird fetish where getting shot down by girls all night is a big turn on to you? Plus, no matter how drunk I get it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be up for a consolatory circle jerk after an unsuccessful night of prowling for babes.

Dear Dave: You must hate me. Sucks to be you!
– Tom Brady (Boston, MA)

Dave Z: Hope you get herpes from Gisele and then tear your left ACL this Sunday! Break a leg! And I mean that literally, Tom! LOL

Dear Dave: It looks like some of your photos are from Photo Booth on a MAC. Have you always been a MAC guy or just a recent convert? How you like it? I just got a Macbook and want to know what software to download for it??
– RajX (Salinas, CA)

Dave Z: I just bought the Macbook, which is my first ever Mac, last summer after I mysteriously pulled out all the keys on my Sony VAIO some random night when I was plastered at home (true story).

I really love the Macbook aesthetically and have, over time, become fond of the Mac OS. However, there are certain things that I can’t do that piss me off to no end — such as not being able to tab to pull down menus on web pages, such as the State pull downs when filling out forms, or not being able to tab or cycle through options such as Save, Save As, and Cancel in certain pop-ups. For something that’s supposedly so user friendly, it’s complete cat anal juice that I can’t do these things (or just don’t know how).

As for software, I don’t really have too many downloads. I use Adium for my AIM, Yahoo, MSN because iChat isn’t that good except for the video conferencing. I also have a bad ass Slash Adium dock icon for it. I downloaded ACDSee because I’m not too big of a fan of iPhoto because of numerous compatibility issues. I use Firefox for web browsing. I’ve got Cyber Duck for my ftp needs. And, I think that basically covers it for me.

By the way, I just ordered Mac OS X Leopard and VMWare Fusion (so I can use MS Money without going back to my VAIO or rebooting my Mac).

Dear Dave: My gf won’t shave her goods, but I’m like you and like it smooth. What should I do?
– Robbie (Bell City, CA)

Dave Z: Here’s my advice…

Step 1: Get her to play some drinking game with you that involves tequila shots.

Step 2: When she passes out, wax that shit smooth.

Step 3: Go get yourself a tattoo.

Step 4: Go to a place that performs waxes and pay for one and get a receipt (sure they’ll gladly take your $ without having to do any work.

Step 5: Leave the receipts for the tattoo shop and wax place crumpled on the living room floor.

Step 6: When you both wake up, pretend like you’re seeing your tattoo for the first time and act hella shocked. Convince her that you two must’ve gotten so drunk and crazy that she got her goods waxed and you got a tattoo. Getting a cheesy tattoo with her name on it might make it more believable.

Dear Dave: What was your game of the year for 2007?
– Jasper (Camden, NJ)

Dave Z: Not sure I played enough games to really call anything “Game of the Year”, but the best game I played was Call of Duty 4. I HATEEEEEEEEEEE how the game plays on the Veteran difficulty, but thought it was a great game, nevertheless. Halo 3 was a lot of fun, but it honestly felt like nothing more than graphically enhanced version of the original Halo built for the next-gen. I enjoyed it, but it just didn’t blow me away because I played it already. Bioshock was also in the running and it looked like it might be my favorite of the year after the first few hours of gameplay, but it got extremely repetitive down the stretch and I was highly disappointed by the lack of need for the plasmids or weapons for much of the last half of the game. After completing it, I started to wonder why we didn’t send Marines out with just wrenches. I haven’t played enough of Mario Galaxy yet to really know where that one stands. It’s looks like it’s going to be a lot of fun.

Dear Dave: Been a long time fan, wish you still wrote shit for IGN! What are your most wanted games for each of the systems?? Still play RPGs?
– Kenji (Osaka, Japan)

Dave Z: I honestly can’t think that far ahead and don’t know what’s coming out except for the obvious ones like Grand Theft Auto IV, Metal Gear Solid 4, and Gran Turismo 5.

I still consider RPGs one of my favorite genres, but I don’t play them much anymore because of time. I usually only have maybe 30-60 minutes a night at max to play a game and trying to get through a 50+ hour RPG would be butt rape un-fun like that.

Dear Dave: You’re such a cutie! If you’re ever in my area, the first lap dance is on me!! <3
– Bubbles (Tacoma, WA)

Dave Z: Please send some sign pics first, you could easily be some 6′6″ 500 lbs hairy assed mother fucker that wants to pound my ass because of some review I wrote back in the IGN days that was disagreeable. If you’re hot, I’ll surely take you up on this! :-p

Dear Dave: I recall you starting to get into reading books and wanting to learn guitar as a hobby. You end up doing either? If so, what books you read & what songs can you play?
– StoneColdStew (Austin, TX)

Dave Z: I still haven’t gotten the guitar…that hobby is on the back burner. It’s sitting there with my book ideas and movie script ideas.

With the books, I haven’t been reading that much of late. The past two books have been The Secret and the first few chapters of A Density of Souls. And both of those were read last summer. If you or anyone else has any recommendations, feel free to send them my way.

If you would like your question answered in a future update to “Dear Dave”, fell free to contact me.