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I, surprisingly, got enough emails to warrant yet another “Dear Dave” update. We’ll see how long this lasts, but if it does, you can expect weekly updates to this section approximately every Thursday.

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I finally bit the bullet and bought myself a new TV stand for the Sony 42″ LCD HDTV this past weekend. The walls suck in my apartment so hanging it has never been an option, so it’s been sitting on my old stand that was built for up to a 27″ TV. I went with the NT-C1140 from Init that supports TV’s up to 50″ and 300 lbs.

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Yeah, LLRT. Check it out. I modeled for these photos while I was in my bathroom taking a big old dump. That’s just how pimp I am.

I’m sure it’s debatable to some, but since this is my blog I can claim anything that I want. Therefore I’m just going to proclaim Adriana Lima “The World’s Sexiest Woman” and be done with it. That’s why she was a past Babe of the Week honoree and has been given the title yet again in the new format.

To hammer in this point even further, if I ever rubbed a magical lamp and a genie popped out, my three wishes would be: 1) To have Adriana Lima for the rest of my life. 2) For Adriana Lima to never age. 3) An everlasting erection. Has the severity of my infatuation with this woman sunk in yet?

For those that were paying attention, you probably noticed that I hadn’t been updating my BFL weight loss progress these past few weeks. The reason for this is simply that I haven’t been following it all that well, particularly during the four days that I was down in LA for work — during which I ate horrifically bad.

As a result, I’ve decided to take a queue from my videogame background and hit the reset button on this and start from day one again. Weighed in this morning at 339.0 lbs and 43% body fat and my 12-week goal is to get down to 299 lbs or less on April 21st. I’m actually quite confident that I can do this despite all the past failures because some recent events have been a big kick in the booty for me and should provide ample motivation.

I’ve been having a hard time getting out of bed this morning. Woke up at 7:30am and have been trying to get up and out of bed for the past three plus hours without any luck except for the morning piss & poop. I blame the laptop because it gives me easy access to everything I need — sports scores, porn, Myspace/Facebook, AIM, and more porn — and the fact that the weather is so bad.

It’s still early, but I’ve got a lot of things to do today. First, I need to hit the gym. Had a really good cardio workout yesterday and it led to me actually getting stuff done yesterday. In fact, the metabolism boost inspired me to weather through five levels of that X-Men game and now I just have four more to go. Second, I got to hit up home depot so I can get some wire raceways to cover up my speaker wires for the surrounds. Third, it’s laundry day. I might be able to last another week, but it’d be pushing it. I guess it’s not really all that much, but it won’t get done if I can’t get out of it. Going to beat it just one more time….then up!

I was all for this piece of crap bill until I found out that I won’t be getting anything because I make too much money. That’s such crap! Even after my tax refund, I will have paid more than $20k in state and federal income taxes in 2007. Yet, outside of maybe the military to protect us (not the Iraq war…) and money spent on highways, nothing the government does is for me at all. Everything is geared towards the extremely wealthy or the retarded poor people. Why the hell should they get tax money back and not me? It’s MY MONEY that they’re getting. I’ve paid my fair share of the taxes and it goes to everyone but me? Lame!

Avatar: TLA: TBE is without a doubt the best achievement whore game that’s ever been created. I just got 5 out of 5 achievements and 1000 gamer points in just a couple of minutes. I adore this game like no other. My happiness has been short-lived, however, as after getting the 1000 in Avatar, I plopped in X-Men, beat one Wolverine level, then died a few times deep in some Ice dude level that kept making me start from the very beginning and gave up after seven minutes. I hate that damn X-Men game more than I hate Bin Laden.

Based on the extreme lack of comments, I figured it’d take a couple months to get enough emails to put together my first update to “Dear Dave”, but that hasn’t proven to be accurate. Let’s hope my responses are entertaining and insightful enough to warrant enough responses to do this weekly. Anyway, let’s begin…

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The gigantic breastage might be what first caught my eye, but my newest Babe of the Week is more than just a great pair of colossal jizz targets. Shauvon Torres, of Real World Sidney fame, also has some sensational hips that seem built for events of the coitus nature and a rather pretty face.

I can’t say I’m a fan of the fact she bailed on the show for an obviously overly possessive retard, but everyone makes mistakes. I sure as hell did when I decided to wipe the sweat off my face this morning with the same rag that I just splooged in. If I could go back in time and have a do over, I would surely do things differently and I’m quite sure that she would as well.