I, surprisingly, got enough emails to warrant yet another “Dear Dave” update. We’ll see how long this lasts, but if it does, you can expect weekly updates to this section approximately every Thursday.

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I finally bit the bullet and bought myself a new TV stand for the Sony 42″ LCD HDTV this past weekend. The walls suck in my apartment so hanging it has never been an option, so it’s been sitting on my old stand that was built for up to a 27″ TV. I went with the NT-C1140 from Init that supports TV’s up to 50″ and 300 lbs.

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Yeah, LLRT. Check it out. I modeled for these photos while I was in my bathroom taking a big old dump. That’s just how pimp I am.

I’m sure it’s debatable to some, but since this is my blog I can claim anything that I want. Therefore I’m just going to proclaim Adriana Lima “The World’s Sexiest Woman” and be done with it. That’s why she was a past Babe of the Week honoree and has been given the title yet again in the new format.

To hammer in this point even further, if I ever rubbed a magical lamp and a genie popped out, my three wishes would be: 1) To have Adriana Lima for the rest of my life. 2) For Adriana Lima to never age. 3) An everlasting erection. Has the severity of my infatuation with this woman sunk in yet?

For those that were paying attention, you probably noticed that I hadn’t been updating my BFL weight loss progress these past few weeks. The reason for this is simply that I haven’t been following it all that well, particularly during the four days that I was down in LA for work — during which I ate horrifically bad.

As a result, I’ve decided to take a queue from my videogame background and hit the reset button on this and start from day one again. Weighed in this morning at 339.0 lbs and 43% body fat and my 12-week goal is to get down to 299 lbs or less on April 21st. I’m actually quite confident that I can do this despite all the past failures because some recent events have been a big kick in the booty for me and should provide ample motivation.

I’ve been having a hard time getting out of bed this morning. Woke up at 7:30am and have been trying to get up and out of bed for the past three plus hours without any luck except for the morning piss & poop. I blame the laptop because it gives me easy access to everything I need — sports scores, porn, Myspace/Facebook, AIM, and more porn — and the fact that the weather is so bad.

It’s still early, but I’ve got a lot of things to do today. First, I need to hit the gym. Had a really good cardio workout yesterday and it led to me actually getting stuff done yesterday. In fact, the metabolism boost inspired me to weather through five levels of that X-Men game and now I just have four more to go. Second, I got to hit up home depot so I can get some wire raceways to cover up my speaker wires for the surrounds. Third, it’s laundry day. I might be able to last another week, but it’d be pushing it. I guess it’s not really all that much, but it won’t get done if I can’t get out of it. Going to beat it just one more time….then up!

I was all for this piece of crap bill until I found out that I won’t be getting anything because I make too much money. That’s such crap! Even after my tax refund, I will have paid more than $20k in state and federal income taxes in 2007. Yet, outside of maybe the military to protect us (not the Iraq war…) and money spent on highways, nothing the government does is for me at all. Everything is geared towards the extremely wealthy or the retarded poor people. Why the hell should they get tax money back and not me? It’s MY MONEY that they’re getting. I’ve paid my fair share of the taxes and it goes to everyone but me? Lame!

Avatar: TLA: TBE is without a doubt the best achievement whore game that’s ever been created. I just got 5 out of 5 achievements and 1000 gamer points in just a couple of minutes. I adore this game like no other. My happiness has been short-lived, however, as after getting the 1000 in Avatar, I plopped in X-Men, beat one Wolverine level, then died a few times deep in some Ice dude level that kept making me start from the very beginning and gave up after seven minutes. I hate that damn X-Men game more than I hate Bin Laden.

Based on the extreme lack of comments, I figured it’d take a couple months to get enough emails to put together my first update to “Dear Dave”, but that hasn’t proven to be accurate. Let’s hope my responses are entertaining and insightful enough to warrant enough responses to do this weekly. Anyway, let’s begin…

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The gigantic breastage might be what first caught my eye, but my newest Babe of the Week is more than just a great pair of colossal jizz targets. Shauvon Torres, of Real World Sidney fame, also has some sensational hips that seem built for events of the coitus nature and a rather pretty face.

I can’t say I’m a fan of the fact she bailed on the show for an obviously overly possessive retard, but everyone makes mistakes. I sure as hell did when I decided to wipe the sweat off my face this morning with the same rag that I just splooged in. If I could go back in time and have a do over, I would surely do things differently and I’m quite sure that she would as well.

We had a fun little bowling excursion at Visual Concepts today and it included the ever-popular free alcohol and pizza. And it was well-needed on my behalf, as it’s been an exhausting four days from the traveling, long work days and exhaustive chore of getting a lap dance from C.C.

I was by far the best bowler of the company, if bowling is to be judged purely on power and style, but not so much if it’s judged by the number of pins you knocked down. Even though I may have topped 100 on the radar gun, my scorecard merely showed a 94, 95 and 25 (five frames of goofing off and throwing lefty). I may have to sneak in some bowling practice before the next company outing.

PS - You will be getting a Babe of the Week on Friday. I promise. Plus, a “Dear Dave” is sure to follow shortly, so stay tuned!

After working my ass off from 7:30AM to 8:30pm here in Los Angeles, Gordon & I decided to hit up a strip club that my friend Jordanna works at (but doesn’t strip at). I’ll write about it more later, but I’m beyond tired and need to crash. You can still smell stripper on me.

I’m in Los Angeles on a business trip and will be here until Wednesday night. As a result, I may or may not have a new Babe of the Week posted on Monday. I’ll do it if I can but just can’t make any promises. Depending on how things go, I might have some fun STD to brag about having before I head back to San Francisco. I love LA!

It’s early Saturday morning and I’m in one of those “don’t wanna get outta bed” kind of moods, so I’ve been browsing the Web on the Macbook to pass time. I came across some article on ESPN.com — Hill: Diversity Knocks — that just irked me a bit. I’m just sick and tired of the whole idea that people need to be more racially sensitive. I feel the exact opposite in most cases.

I think it’s too much to ask of a person to just “know” what will offend people of different races. Seriously, should everybody be required to know everything that’s potentially offensive to blacks, whites, Jews, Catholics, Italians, Germans, fat people, short people, little people, or whatever other groups out there? That seems pretty ridiculous.

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Despite the hordes of mistakes the man has made over the past seven or so years, it looks as if President Bush is trying to do something that will directly affect me in a positive way. The $150 billion economic aid package is something I’m 100% behind if it’ll put an extra couple hundred bucks in my wallet. I’ll even promise to do my part and spend that money recklessly on something like a PlayStation 3 or lap dances in Vegas.

I really wish Britney Spears would’ve done a bunch of nudes and filmed a few sex tapes back in her heyday, right around 2000-2002. I wouldn’t be nearly as excited about any of that stuff now with her. She’s no longer a prime piece of ass that I dream of hitting. Those days are long gone. I’d have to down a fifth of vodka and slip lil Dave a roofie before I’d even think about pounding Britney’s ‘08 cock canister.

Not sure how it’s going to work with the frequency of the ma- and runs these days, but I’ve gotten enough emails from chicks & dicks asking if I’m going to bring back “Dear Dave” that I figured I’d give it a shot. So, if you’re one of the proud few that wishes to contact me about anything and everything, then hit up my contact page and send me an email that I’ll answer for all the world to see. In cases where you don’t wish for your dirty laundry to viewable to the public eye, make sure you let me know in the message.

The High School Musical combo of Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale has been quite popular. I truthfully had no clue. I guess I’ll have to watch the two movies to see what all the hype is about. Although, I’m guessing it’s most likely just because they’re cute and that’s all. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve watched a awful movie just for the female eye candy (e.g. - my Jessica Alba DVD collection), so it’s no hair off my ass crack.

Oh, and, I’ve already seen enough to know that Zac Efron is Liberachi gay. I saw some clip of him and the Hudgens chick singing and my ass sphincter tightened up so much that one of the dingleberries in my ass turned into a diamond. What I don’t get is how girls are so into him and actually believe he’s hetero. The only plausible explanation is that the girls that like him are either lesbians or bisexuals and they just don’t know it yet.

I think the show is overly fake and incredibly stupid, particularly because half of it is filled with dead silence and emotionless faces exchanging looks until the music kicks in, but for some reason I really enjoy watching The Hills. The popular theory is that it’s just because of the hot chicks, but I think it’s deeper than that.

My hypothesis is that it’s pretty damn mindless and consequently is something you can have on the TV as good background noise that you don’t really have to pay attention to in order to follow the story. Either way, that Heidi Montag chick with her big fake boobies is a spank-worthy babe that looks mighty fine in a bikini (not sure if I’m a fan of the post-surgery face, however).

I decided to make Ashley Tisdale (and her puffy nipples) my Babe of the Week mostly because I figured she’d be popular for the site based on the traffic that her High School Musical co-star Vanessa Hudgens has been getting me. The unique visitor count is still about 1/16th of what it was before the shut down, but it’s grown significantly since the re-launch and Vanessa has been one of the bigger draws. I’m hoping this cutie is able to do the same.