This is what I’ve been working on 12-16 hours/day, 7 days/week since I started back up with Visual Concepts / 2K Sports on August 5, 2013. I’m so proud of what this team has accomplished for our first go around with the next generation consoles (PS4 and Xbox One). I can’t wait to see what’s in store for the future!
It’s Almost Fantasy Football Season
The NFL football season is fast approaching and I couldn’t be more excited. For one, the Miami Dolphins have me the most excited I’ve been since Ricky Williams’ first season. With Wallace, Keller, Gibson, and Hartline catching balls and Lamar Miller handling the running game, the offense should be the best it’s been since Marino’s prime — as long as Tanny shows improvement from year one to two. The schedule is definitely tough, but the games should all be competitive and exciting to watch if everything plays out as I hope.
Even if the Dolphins don’t live up to the preseason expectations, then I can always lean on my fantasy teams like I have in years past. I’ll probably cut back to just playing in a few leagues this year, but I say that every year and always get way too many teams going. The one that matters will undoubtedly be in CBSSports Commissioner League, which is the best I’ve found to date. You gotta pay, but it’s definitely worth it if you plan on winning.
Kate Upton Topless … But Censored
TMZ should be bombed for not leaking the uncensored video!
Gotta Love Beauty Pageant Contestants
It’s still not on the level of the infamous response by Miss Teen South Carolina 2007, Caitlin Upton, but you gotta give much credit to Miss Utah, Marissa Powell, for making a strong run at the absolute worst answer ever given in the history of beauty pageants. She stumbles throughout and has the now Internet-famous phrase “create education better” associated with her until everything gets erased in a few years and we’re all killing zombies.
As humorous as it is to make fun of pretty people to fail on such a big stage, though, the God’s honest truth is that 99% of the population wouldn’t have been able to answer a question like this on the spot in the same situation. Obviously, she put herself in this spot by competing, but MOST people laughing at her wouldn’t have done any better. Plus, despite that hilarious answer, she still managed to finish 3rd runner-up, so keep your head up Marissa (and call me)!
Here’s how I would’ve responded, in case you’re interested:
- What does income inequality between men and women say about our society? Well, bitches need to work harder! And if that’s not an option, just stick to the jobs where they make more than men, such as stripping, pornography, and prostitution! Otherwise, keep your mouth shut, speek only when spoken to and get your ass in the kitchen and make me a sammich! Oh, and that shit BETTER have some bacon on it or someone’s getting smacked in the eye!
Here’s the classic Miss Teen South Carolina response for those that don’t remember.
Thera-Band Flexbar Hand Exerciser
There was a time when I could drink alcohol every night and never get a hangover. I could lift weights like crazy and would only get the normal soreness. But now that I’m approaching 40, things are changing. After drinking for three straight days, I tend to start getting hearth burn and will get hungover. And now when I lift heavy, my joints ache like Hell. It sucks.
The worst of these has been my elbow pain, which apparently is called Golfer’s Elbow even though it’s not from golfing. I’ve done everything I could to help from rest, to cortisone, to smoking several pounds of medicinal marijuana, but nothing helped. The pain just wouldn’t go away.
Thanks to the Internet, I found the Thera-Band Flexbar Hand Exerciser. It claims to cure Tennis Elbow and has an exercise that they’re currently testing for Golfer’s Elbow, so I decided to give it a shot. I’ve only been doing the exercises for a few days, so I can’t say if it works or not, but I’m hoping it will. I’ll let you all know if it does.
Omron Body Composition Monitor With Scale
Continuing my end of year theme to try and get healthier, I decided to pick up a new scale because my old one only did weight and nothing else. First, I needed one that went high enough to even weigh my fat ass since most scales won’t even work with fat people, which is something that I always found odd — it’s like how a lot of exercise equipment that have weight limits of 250 lbs.
I also needed something to track body fat percentage since I wanted to monitor my progress by more than just weight because I tend to add muscle rather easily, so I didn’t want to be discouraged by weight gain if it was muscle. After some research, I went with the Omron Body Composition Monitor With Scale. It maxes out at 330 lbs, does body fat percentage and a whole lot more – body mass index (BMI), skeletal muscle, resting metabolism, visceral fat, and body age. What’s more, it has sensors for your hands in addition to the feet sensors, so it’s supposed to be more accurate than most body fat scales.
The good news is that it works great and provides a lot of helpful information. The bad news is that my fat ass is so out of shape and I have a body age of 80 according to the scale. I guess if I was in great shape, I wouldn’t be worrying about it as much so I’ve got to start somewhere. I just gotta deal with the fact that I have a long road to wellness ahead of me. 
LifeSource Blood Pressure Monitor
After my brother’s big hospital scare, I figured I’d start trying to be a little more healthy; particularly get a little more hearth-healthy. And in order to monitor the path to wellness a little better, it made sense to pick up a blood pressure monitor. I did a lot of research and it turned out that my massive 18.5″ pythons are just too big for most of the monitors that were reviewed out there. Luckily, I found the LifeSource Blood Pressure Monitor with AccuFit Extra Large Cuff, which supports up to 23″ ‘guns’.
I’ve been using the thing for about two weeks and it’s turned out to be a really great product. It’s very easy to use, the memory functions and rolling averages is very valuable and it’s shown me that my heart health is pretty much in the shitter right now. I guess I can no longer brag about having a very unhealthy lifestyle but with great blood pressure and perfect cholesterol ratings. While I still don’t know if I’ve lost the perfect balance of cholesterol that I’ve always been blessed with, I do now know that my blood pressure is consistently in the high-normal range. I guess all the smoking and drinking has caught up with me…
The funny thing is that the only time my blood pressure gets into the “normal” range is after I chug an entire bottle of vodka… So, the alcohol is apparently saving my life! Anyway, if you’re a big guy that often sells tickets to your gun show, you might want to pick up this monitor to see how well the heart’s doing. It’s been an eye-opener for me.
Holiday Gift Guide
Okay, it’s not really a Holiday Gift Guide — I’m just doing some cleaning of my junk so I have a bunch of things up for auction on eBay just in time for Christmas! Here’s what’s available:
I’m hoping to get $1,000,000 for these, so don’t be cheap! I have a pretty gnarly midget hooker addiction that’s cutting into my meth budget, so if these don’t net me some money fast, there’s a good chance I might be short a couple of thumbs in the very near future.
I also have some great deals on Craig’s List, but unless you’re local it doesn’t really matter to you. Sucks for you, though, as one of the things I’m selling there is my used and never-cleaned Real Doll that I’ve rocked daily for the past 9 years.
Taking Another Stab at Juicing
My younger brother had a major medical scare and was in the hospital for about two weeks — about eight days of which was spent in the ICU fighting for his life. He’s out of the hospital now and is following the doctor’s orders in the hopes that his heart can get back to 100% health.
While I have lost some weight and have been exercising at least semi-regularly in the past year, the fact that he’s two years younger, has significantly less body fat, doesn’t smoke and doesn’t drink alcohol has made me think I need to do a little more with regard to keeping my heart healthy.
One of the things I’ve decided to do is start juicing again — not steroids, but making and drinking vegetable and fruit juices. I had done this in at times in the past, but it had always been too much of a hassle to maintain. I had one of those Jack Lalanne’s Power Juicers based off of the centrifugal style and while it got the job done, it was a bitch to clean, was super noisy and seemed to waste a lot of vegetables when juiced.
Since this is something I’m hoping to stick to for more than a few days, I figured I’d do some research to see if there was a better way. What I found is that there are these newer “slow” masticating juicers that handle juicing greens a lot better, are significantly less noisy and are much easier to clean. As these were my main issues with my current juicer, I was over-joyed to learn this and decided to figure out a good slow juicer to pick up.
After reading several top 10 lists, I opted to go with the Omega VRT350 because it was well-reviewed, didn’t come with a $1,000+ price tag and its vertical style meant it wouldn’t take up too much counter space. It came in today and after trying a few different juice combos, I must say that I’m absolutely in love with it. The clean up was super easy, there was almost no noise, and I was able to get about five times more juice out of the vegetables and fruits that I used in comparison to what I had been getting from the centrifugal juice. It was every bit as advertised and more.
At $379.99, it’s quite a bit more expensive than the juicer I will be throwing out tomorrow, but the extra price looks like it’ll be well worth it — particularly as I will be able to spend a lot less on the leafy greens like spinach, kale and swiss chard to get the same amount of juice. Plus, while I obviously can’t verify it, the masticating method is supposed to deliver more of the important enzymes and nutrients since there’s less heat in the process, so I’ll be drinking a much healthier juice.
The only negative I’ve found so far is that since the hole is smaller on this unit, you have to cut up the fruits and vegetables that you user more than in my other juicer. I’m also currently unsure if it handles the skins that well and there are warnings about seeds, which I didn’t have to worry about before. Nevertheless, I’m extremely happy about my purchase and would recommend the Omega VRT350 to anyone looking for a high-quality juicer.
